What do Apple and the NFL have in common?

The Chargers suck.

The NFL is considering having their teams play to empty stadiums and no fans.

The Lions have been preparing for this their whole lives.

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I know the best trainer in the NFL just happens to be a homosexual.

He can turn a tight end into a wide receiver.

There is a huge debate about letting NFL teams play against prison inmates as part of their rehabilitation program.

Understandable, it has a big list of pros and cons.

Why doesn’t the NFL like having women refs?

Because they would bring up penalties from two years ago.

After the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft, this team's fans didnt think things could possibly get any worse...

...And here's the kicker...

Did you hear about the first female NFL referee?

She threw a flag for something that happened last season.

Covid restrictions on the NFL are so tight

Even the Chiefs didn’t show up

Why doesn’t the NFL give Iowa a professional football team?

Because then Minnesota would want one.

Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

Tim Tebow

Professional kneeler Tim Tebow is now doing the unthinkable and returning to the NFL. He’ll be changing positions to Tight End, which is odd since he always struck me as a missionary guy.

More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

The...

Can you name the 3 NFL team's mascots that start with the letter "F"?

The Falcons, the Fourty-Niners and the F***ing Dolphins!

If you could choose one NFL team to not come back after the Corona Virus, which one would you choose?

And why did you choose the Patriots?

How is the NFL like the Police?

Everyone gets heated when someone takes a knee.

For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets.

It will be considered a personal fowl.

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The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

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NSFW - Sammy the journeyman NFL player

Sammy was your less than average NFL player. He always managed to land on a roster, but in 13 years had never felt the glory of playing on Sunday. Every game he'd put on his gear, smear his cheeks with eye-black, don his helmet and rush onto the field with his teammates. But play after play, game...

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What does NFL football and the Bachelor have in common?

Both involve a bunch of people fighting over some balls and a ring

Breaking News: NFL responds to lost revenue from kneeling controversy

Breaking News: The NFL announced today that because of lost revenue due to kneeling, an NFL Team had to be cut. Tampa Bay and the Green Bay Packers will be combining forming the Tampacks. They will be good for only one period and will have no second string...

A newly released Harvard study links NFL head trauma to erectile dysfunction...

The players could sue but I dont think it would stand up in court.

I saw a dolphin kissing a raven.

Didn't expect to see that as the highlight of the NFL game.

The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.

The new LGBT NFL rules are modified from the Traditional NFL

There’s no tight end

What's the hardest play to complete in the NFL?

The Donner Pass - they'll eat you alive if you try it.

What’s the difference between the NFL and the CFL

In Canada they say “Sorry”



When they beat their wife.

What’s the difference between an NFL player and football player?

When you pat an NFL player on the shoulder, they feel better. But the other gets hospitalized right away.

The NFL announced today that Aaron Hernandez

Is suspended indefinitely.

If people in Bangkok had a favorite NFL team, what team would they root for?

The Thai-tans

If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40

The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder

There are now 3 undefeated cat teams in the NFL!

The Panthers, the Bengals and the Cheetahs.

Whose the best team in the NFL this year?

The injured reserve

The only people who get more concussions than NFL players..

are their wives

Why did Colin Kaepernick take a knee before each NFL game?

He never had the opportunity to kneel during games

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I don't get what this whole NFL anthem controversy is about...

I thought the right-wingers *WANTED* to see black people on their knees.

Why don't NFL players wear glasses?

Because it's a contact sport.

Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL?

Because there's a Giant fan in every seat.

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I knew Antonio Brown was a rapist before the accusation

He fucked over two nfl teams i the last 2 years.

Did you hear what happened to that NFL player that murdered several people?

He was suspended.

What do aldi and the nfl draft have in common?

They're both places you can get a quarterback

An Italian, an Englishman and an American are granted an audience with God.

The Lord lets them ask a question about the future.

The Italian asks, “I’m a big F1 racing fan. When will Ferrari win another World Championship?” “In 20 years,” says God.

The Italian wails, “I’m an old man. I’ll never get to see my team win a championship.” He starts to cry.
...

What does the NFL, NBA, and the Catholic Church have in common?

They all have a cult following

Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

Dont want to Catch Covid-19

Dress up as an NFL referee they don't know what a catch is

Just learned NFL has female referee

When she throws a flag and just looks at a player is he supposed to know what he did wrong?

Will she throw a flag next season for something a player did this season?

Who is Monica Lewinsky's Favorite NFL Football Player?

Clinton-Dix

Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck.

It's considered a personal fowl.

How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?(X-post r/nfl)

Mark Sanchez.

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

Tom Brady has 6 rings...

... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap

A large apartment building is on fire, and people are trapped...

The first firefighters on scene notice that a couple is in a window 10 stories up, frantically waving their arms. They have a baby, and the smoke and fire is getting thick. The firefighters know that their ladder can't reach that high, and desperately try to come up with a plan.

A bystander,...

Adrian Peterson just announced his retirement from the NFL

and will be joining the Minnesota Twins as a switch hitter.

(Sorry, news was too depressing not to joke about it)

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

A black guy dies & finds himself at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter....

SP: Before I allow you to enter Heaven, you must tell me something truly extraordinary about your life.

BG: Sheeet, no problem. I was a star NFL QB for 15 years!

SP: One of many. What else?

BG: I have 2 Super Bowl rings & 3 MVP trophys!

SP: These things do not impress...

The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheat...

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

A rather old one.

Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.

"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"

His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."

one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend before an nfl game tbh, when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remembe...

The Browns' New QB

The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan.

This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a...

The universe's greatest villain acquired his sixth Infinity Stone, and in the snap of a finger...

...half the NFL's fans stopped caring.

It took a few years, but...

Tebowing is finally taking over the NFL.

I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I?

NFL Referee

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An engineer and a scientist walk into a dive bar....

Smiling, happy, the engineer says, "Bartender, shots for everyone!"

The bartender leans in, confused, "I can tell you're not from around here. Are you sure you want to buy these people drinks?"

The scientist retorts with, "Make 'em doubles!"

The bartender deploys the drinks to e...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

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