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Jehovah's Witnesses Jokes

Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses?

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.

Jehovah's Witnesses knock at the door of Jesus.

"Excuse us Sir, do you have a moment to talk about Chuck Norris?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've got an advent calendar for Jehovah's Witnesses...

Every time you open a door, someone tells you to fuck off.

Sicily isn't a safe place for Jehovah's Witnesses.

I've heard that Sicilians really don't like witnesses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday

Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ...

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses' favourite part of Middle Earth?

More door.

I would tell a joke about Jehovah's witnesses...

But nobody likes knock-knock jokes

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses favorite type of car?

A CONVERTable

Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?

Me: Of course! please come in!

[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]

Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!

A group of Jehovah's witnesses were walking around in a big city.

One of them said " looking at beautiful women is a sin. So, whenever you see one, always say "Oh Lord! Forgive me".

After sometime one of them said "Oh Lord! Forgive me"

Everyone else said "where?"

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ...

I live next to a family of Jehovah's witnesses

Every time they come I tell them, 'No! Absolutely not!'

But they still come every week asking, 'Can you please stop throwing eggs at our house? '

(Not mine btw, the joke is from Anthony Jeselnik)

Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from?

The School of Hard Knocks.

When Jehovah's witnesses knock on my door...

I just tell them "Sorry, I'm Jehovah's Prosecutor and shouldn't be talking with you."

Some Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door and asked me if I'd found Jesus.

I told them, "I didn't know he was lost."

If you receive an email with the title "DING DONG", do not open it!!!

It's the Jehovah's witnesses, working from home

Just saw a poster for a film. In big lettering it said: Don't Knock Twice.

If only Jehovah's Witnesses used that idea.

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