UPJOKE
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A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s...
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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door...

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."
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A Jehovah witness was going from house to house looking to talk to people

He approached a house and saw a man. "Good day" he said "do you have time to discuss, I'm Jehovah witness?"

"Sure" said the man. He let him in the house and they just kept staring at each other until the man asked "so what do you want to talk about?"

Then confused Jehovah witness just ...
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Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ...
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Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses?

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.
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What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
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My friend is a jehovah's witness

He got mad at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.
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In getting tired of the jehovah witnesses.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"
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What's a Jehovah's Witnesses' favourite part of Middle Earth?

More door.
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Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just bought a Jehovah Witness themed advent calendar,

behind every door someone tells you to fuck off

Jehovah’s Witnesses have some strange beliefs.

Like they believe I’m gonna open the door.
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A Vegan, Jehovah Witness and Keto Trainer walk into a bar...

* Everybody Leaves *
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My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
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Why are there no Jehovah‘s Witnesses in Sicily?

Because it‘s a dangerous place for witnesses.
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I’m in the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program.

I have to go door-to-door and tell people I’m somebody else.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday

Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses favorite type of car?

A CONVERTable
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Jehovah is showing Ra around Heaven one day...

... when a man runs up to them, crosses himself, then spreads his arms and closes his eyes.

"Excuse me," Jehovah says to Ra, "this will only take a second." He waves his hands, there's a flash of light, and a purring kitten goes scampering away from where the man had been.

"Other than ...
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I had a Jehovah witness

Knock on my door one day and asked to come in and speak with me about Jesus.

I said sure come on in, so we went to living room and sat down. And I asked, so what do you want to talk about?


And they said we’re really not sure we have never made it this far before.
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So this young kid goes out to solicit donations for Jehovah’s witnesses.

It’s dark and cold and the rain is coming down in buckets. He sees a house with the lights on and runs up the driveway and knocks on the door. Half a minute later the owner opens the door and the young fellow informs him who he is.

“Well don’t stand out there in the rain. Come on in and dry ...
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A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said
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Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
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What's the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah's witness?

You can shut the door on a Jehovah's witness
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Shocked that pesky 'Jehovah Witness' lady by answering the door naked..

Not sure whether she was scared that I was naked or I knew where she lived..
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What do a Jehovah's Witness and my boyfriend have in common?

I never let them come inside, no matter how much they beg
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jehovah’s witness knocks on a door

An old jew opens it. The jehovah’s witness asks “excuse me, sir, but have you had a chance to read the bible?”

“Oh, my dear,” replies the jew, “we wrote it.”

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah witness and a Mormon?

I have no idea but I can’t get him off my porch
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A group of Jehovah's witnesses were walking around in a big city.

One of them said " looking at beautiful women is a sin. So, whenever you see one, always say "Oh Lord! Forgive me".

After sometime one of them said "Oh Lord! Forgive me"

Everyone else said "where?"
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Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from?

The School of Hard Knocks.
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If you get an email with the subject "knock knock", dont open it.

It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Jehovah's Witness were driving through the countryside when their car broke down.

The only house in the vicinity was an old farmhouse, so they decided to stay there for the night.

"I'm so sorry," said the farmer. "The bed in the guest room only has room for two people." So he volunteered the Jew to sleep in the barn.

Five minutes later, the farmer heard a knock on t...

Sicily isn't a safe place for Jehovah's Witnesses.

I've heard that Sicilians really don't like witnesses.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do I say now?

One bright and cheery Saturday morning a man hears a knock at his front door and answers it.



The stranger says, “Hello. I’m a Jehovah’s Witness, and I am here to enlighten you with some religious stories.”



“Well, come on in,” says the homeowner. He takes the stranger to...

Jehovah's Witness

I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah’s Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven’s door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???
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I upset a Jehovah's Witness at work today...

...he started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer.
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I would tell a joke about Jehovah's witnesses...

But nobody likes knock-knock jokes
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What's a Jehovah's Witness's favorite snack food?

Ding Dongs
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I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"
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Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?

Me: Of course! please come in!

[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]

Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!
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A Jehovah's Witness starts a knock knock joke...

...but no one ever answers.
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What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?

♪Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door♪
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Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness

I said, "Hey man I didn't even see the accident"
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What are Jehovah Witnesses' favorite dessert?

Hostess Ding Dongs!
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The Jehovah's Witness don't seem to get the hint with my Koran, so...

Islam the door in their face
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A new gym opened near me. They are currently going door to door signing up new members.

It's called Jehovah's Fitness.
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I've just joined the Jehovah's Observers.

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Til Jehovah witness woman don't have breasts

They have knockers

When Jehovah's witnesses knock on my door...

I just tell them "Sorry, I'm Jehovah's Prosecutor and shouldn't be talking with you."
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A Jehovah's witness knocks on a Mexican's door.

The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus?

The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door.
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What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.
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God is in an argument with Jehovah...

about which one of their faiths is the true one.

"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said

"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a Jehovah's Witness says a girl has nice knockers...

...is he referring to her breasts or her knuckles?

Some Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door and asked me if I'd found Jesus.

I told them, "I didn't know he was lost."
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I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I need help.

The door is locked
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What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Jehovah's Witness?

...knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing?
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I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender this year....

I didn't open any of the doors.
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A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday...

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in. He said, "Yeah, okay." I said "I'm just making a cup of tea, do you want one?" He said, "Yeah, sure." I said, "I've just made some toast do you want a slice?" He said, "Yeah, why not." We sat down ...
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I just opened up a gym where my entire staff asks you a series of annoying questions every so often for the length of your stay.

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.
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A Test of Faith

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.

All three decided on the test:
They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ...
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a jehovah witness asks a boy sitting outside a house playing on his phone if his parents are home..

"yes they are" says the boy without looking.
The jehovah witness knocks on the door for a while and nobody comes out, so he asks the boy: "Are you sure your parents are home?"
yes i'm sure says the boy.
After knocking on the door again and after no getting a response the man says "Are you ...
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Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ...
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