Jehovah Jokes

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s... read more

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

He approached a house and saw a man. "Good day" he said "do you have time to discuss, I'm Jehovah witness?"

"Sure" said the man. He let him in the house and they just kept staring at each other until the man asked "so what do you want to talk about?"

Then confused Jehovah witness just ... read more

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ... read more

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

He got mad at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.

More door.

* Everybody Leaves *

Like they believe I’m gonna open the door.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Because it‘s a dangerous place for witnesses.

I have to go door-to-door and tell people I’m somebody else.

A CONVERTable

... when a man runs up to them, crosses himself, then spreads his arms and closes his eyes.

"Excuse me," Jehovah says to Ra, "this will only take a second." He waves his hands, there's a flash of light, and a purring kitten goes scampering away from where the man had been.

"Other than ... read more

Knock on my door one day and asked to come in and speak with me about Jesus.

I said sure come on in, so we went to living room and sat down. And I asked, so what do you want to talk about?


And they said we’re really not sure we have never made it this far before.

It’s dark and cold and the rain is coming down in buckets. He sees a house with the lights on and runs up the driveway and knocks on the door. Half a minute later the owner opens the door and the young fellow informs him who he is.

“Well don’t stand out there in the rain. Come on in and dry ... read more

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

You can shut the door on a Jehovah's witness

Not sure whether she was scared that I was naked or I knew where she lived..

I never let them come inside, no matter how much they beg

I have no idea but I can’t get him off my porch

One of them said " looking at beautiful women is a sin. So, whenever you see one, always say "Oh Lord! Forgive me".

After sometime one of them said "Oh Lord! Forgive me"

Everyone else said "where?"

The School of Hard Knocks.

It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.

I've heard that Sicilians really don't like witnesses.

I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah’s Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven’s door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???

...he started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer.

But nobody likes knock-knock jokes

Ding Dongs

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?

Me: Of course! please come in!

[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]

Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!

...but no one ever answers.

♪Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door♪

I said, "Hey man I didn't even see the accident"

Hostess Ding Dongs!

Islam the door in their face

It's called Jehovah's Fitness.

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

I just tell them "Sorry, I'm Jehovah's Prosecutor and shouldn't be talking with you."

The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus?

The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door.

Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

about which one of their faiths is the true one.

"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said

"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."

I told them, "I didn't know he was lost."

The door is locked

...knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing?

I didn't open any of the doors.

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in. He said, "Yeah, okay." I said "I'm just making a cup of tea, do you want one?" He said, "Yeah, sure." I said, "I've just made some toast do you want a slice?" He said, "Yeah, why not." We sat down ... read more

Welcome to Jehovah's Fitness.

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.

All three decided on the test:
They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ... read more

"yes they are" says the boy without looking.
The jehovah witness knocks on the door for a while and nobody comes out, so he asks the boy: "Are you sure your parents are home?"
yes i'm sure says the boy.
After knocking on the door again and after no getting a response the man says "Are you ... read more

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ... read more