Jehovah Jokes

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s... read more

He got mad at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

Come in!

He approached a house and saw a man. "Good day" he said "do you have time to discuss, I'm Jehovah witness?"

"Sure" said the man. He let him in the house and they just kept staring at each other until the man asked "so what do you want to talk about?"

Then confused Jehovah witness just ... read more

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

* Everybody Leaves *

One of them said " looking at beautiful women is a sin. So, whenever you see one, always say "Oh Lord! Forgive me".

After sometime one of them said "Oh Lord! Forgive me"

Everyone else said "where?"

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

More door.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

Like they believe I’m gonna open the door.

A CONVERTable

Not sure whether she was scared that I was naked or I knew where she lived..

Italians don't like ANY witnesses.

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ... read more

To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced that they witnessed it.

I never let them come inside, no matter how much they beg

Jehovah's Fitness.

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

Sicilians aren't keen about witnesses.

I have no idea but I can’t get him off my porch

I said, "Hey man I didn't even see the accident"

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

Islam the door in their face

You can shut the door on a jehovah's witness

Ding Dongs

The School of Hard Knocks.

I haven't seen a jehovah's witness in awhile.

It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.

Hostess Ding Dongs!

...he started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer.

The door is locked

I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!

...but no one ever answers.

But nobody likes knock-knock jokes

One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off.

The woman wanted to make conver... read more

I told them, "I didn't know he was lost."

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

Every time they come I tell them, 'No! Absolutely not!'

But they still come every week asking, 'Can you please stop throwing eggs at our house? '

(Not mine btw, the joke is from Anthony Jeselnik)

♪Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door♪

I just tell them "Sorry, I'm Jehovah's Prosecutor and shouldn't be talking with you."

Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus?

The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door.

I didn't open any of the doors.

"yes they are" says the boy without looking.
The jehovah witness knocks on the door for a while and nobody comes out, so he asks the boy: "Are you sure your parents are home?"
yes i'm sure says the boy.
After knocking on the door again and after no getting a response the man says "Are you ... read more

about which one of their faiths is the true one.

"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said

"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."

Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?

Me: Of course! please come in!

[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]

Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!

I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah’s Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven’s door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in. He said, "Yeah, okay." I said "I'm just making a cup of tea, do you want one?" He said, "Yeah, sure." I said, "I've just made some toast do you want a slice?" He said, "Yeah, why not." We sat down ... read more

A couple of Jehovah witnesses knocked on my door. When I answered, they asked "If they could come in and talk to me about Jesus."

I said sure and walked them to my living room. After sitting down on the sectional, I said ok what do you want to talk about?

They replied, " we're not real... read more

...knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing?

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.

All three decided on the test:
They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ... read more

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ... read more