A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s...

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate strangers knocking on their doors

My friend is a jehovah's witness

He got mad at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.

A Jehovah witness was going from house to house looking to talk to people

He approached a house and saw a man. "Good day" he said "do you have time to discuss, I'm Jehovah witness?"

"Sure" said the man. He let him in the house and they just kept staring at each other until the man asked "so what do you want to talk about?"

Then confused Jehovah witness just ...

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses' favourite part of Middle Earth?

More door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just bought a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar

Behind every door, someone tells you to fuck off

A Jehovah’s Witness knocked at my door this morning.

“Could you spare a few moments to talk about the Judgement Day?” he asked.

“Well,” I replied, “I’m not a big fan of the Terminator series.” I Said

In getting tired of the jehovah witnesses.

They keep knocking on the door, trying to make me change my mind

"Please let us out!", "We won't bother you again!", "Have mercy!"

Jehovah’s Witnesses have some strange beliefs.

Like they believe I’m gonna open the door.

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" ...

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

I talked to a couple of Jehovah's witnesses for half an hour, and I still don't know who Jehova is.

To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced that they witnessed it.

The Jehovah's Witness don't seem to get the hint with my Koran, so...

Islam the door in their face

Why are there so few Jehovah's Witnesses in Sicily?

Sicilians aren't keen about witnesses.

A Vegan, Jehovah Witness and Keto Trainer walk into a bar...

* Everybody Leaves *

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door...

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on a Jew's door.

Jew: "Can I help you?"

Witness: "Hello sir, I'm here to tell you about the great Lord Jehovah!"

Jew: "Is that what you call him? You know, we have a name for him too..."

Witness: "No way?!"

Jew: "Yahweh."

What's a Jehovah's Witnesses favorite type of car?

A CONVERTable

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Jehovah's Witness were driving through the countryside when their car broke down.

The only house in the vicinity was an old farmhouse, so they decided to stay there for the night.

"I'm so sorry," said the farmer. "The bed in the guest room only has room for two people." So he volunteered the Jew to sleep in the barn.

Five minutes later, the farmer heard a knock on t...

Why don't the Clintons like Jehovah's Witnesses?

The Clintons don't like ANY witn

Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness

I said, "Hey man I didn't even see the accident"

You know the only good thing about quarantine?

I haven't seen a jehovah's witness in awhile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jehovah's witnesses are always banging on my door everyday

Joke's on them, I'm never letting them out of my basement.

A Test of Faith

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.

All three decided on the test:
They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ...

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah witness and a Mormon?

I have no idea but I can’t get him off my porch

What is a Jehovahs Witness favorite band?

The Doors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jehovah’s witness knocks on a door

An old jew opens it. The jehovah’s witness asks “excuse me, sir, but have you had a chance to read the bible?”

“Oh, my dear,” replies the jew, “we wrote it.”

What's the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah's witness?

You can shut the door on a jehovah's witness

What's a Jehovah's Witness's favorite snack food?

Ding Dongs

I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I need help.

The door is locked

I get a lot of solicitors at my house, salespeople, charity seekers, jehovah's witness, I've seen them all. But today I got someone at my door asking if I eat enough vegetables

I wasn't expecting some sort of spinach inquisition!

An office hired a Mormon and a Jehovah’s Witness.

Soon after, there was an open door policy.

Which educational institute did many Jehovah's Witnesses graduate from?

The School of Hard Knocks.

What are Jehovah Witnesses' favorite dessert?

Hostess Ding Dongs!

A Jehovah's Witness starts a knock knock joke...

...but no one ever answers.

Some Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door and asked me if I'd found Jesus.

I told them, "I didn't know he was lost."

I've just joined the Jehovah's Observers.

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

I got a Jehovah's Witness themed advent calender this year....

I didn't open any of the doors.

If you get an email starting with Knock Knock don’t open it.

It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.

I would tell a joke about Jehovah's witnesses...

But nobody likes knock-knock jokes

I upset a Jehovah's Witness at work today...

...he started telling me a knock-knock joke, but I wouldn't answer.

Jehovah's Witness

I was just wondering………..if a Jehovah’s Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven’s door….. does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???

What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?

♪Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door♪

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday...

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in. He said, "Yeah, okay." I said "I'm just making a cup of tea, do you want one?" He said, "Yeah, sure." I said, "I've just made some toast do you want a slice?" He said, "Yeah, why not." We sat down ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a Jehovah's Witness says a girl has nice knockers...

...is he referring to her breasts or her knuckles?

a jehovah witness asks a boy sitting outside a house playing on his phone if his parents are home..

"yes they are" says the boy without looking.
The jehovah witness knocks on the door for a while and nobody comes out, so he asks the boy: "Are you sure your parents are home?"
yes i'm sure says the boy.
After knocking on the door again and after no getting a response the man says "Are you ...

A blonde was called into court recently

She was so dumb, she asked a Jehovah's Witness what they saw.

(If this is offensive to anyone, I'll delete it.)

Did you hear that Judas turned state’s evidence against the lord?

He had to go into the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program.

Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovahs Witnesses: Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior?

Me: Of course! please come in!

[door slams shut and locks, lights dim, PowerPoint presentation begins]]

Me: But first I wanna tell you about a timeshare opportunity!!!

When Jehovah's witnesses knock on my door...

I just tell them "Sorry, I'm Jehovah's Prosecutor and shouldn't be talking with you."

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Jehovah's Witness?

...knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing?

What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness?

Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke.

A Jehovah's witness knocks on a Mexican's door.

The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus?

The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door.

A couple of Jehovah witnesses!

A couple of Jehovah witnesses knocked on my door. When I answered, they asked "If they could come in and talk to me about Jesus."

I said sure and walked them to my living room. After sitting down on the sectional, I said ok what do you want to talk about?

They replied, " we're not real...

God is in an argument with Jehovah...

about which one of their faiths is the true one.

"That's it, I've had it with this! I am taking the matter to the supreme court." he said

"I'd like to see you try." said Jehovah. "I have witnesses."

What did the religious zealots call their gym?

Jehovah's Fitness

There’s a new gym in town that’s religious

It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off.

[Original Post](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2rzta8/weve_been_getting_weekly_visits_from_the_jehovahs/cnl0tgx)

I'm starting a gym where we bring exercise equipment right to your front door, whether you requested it or not.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses use Macs?

They prefer to not have windows.

[For those that don't get it, their churches, called "Kingdom Halls", frequently are built without windows. The official reason given is to avoid vandalism but the real reason is usually secrecy. Generally if the group builds a church it won't have windows. ...

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