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My life completely changed after I learned Morse Code

Last night, for example, I couldn't fall asleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

"How do you spell "S" in Morse code?"

"..."

"Fine then, keep your secrets."

Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code!

Dog: [taps paw]


Me: What did it say??


Scientist: "Woof."

I'm in love with a girl from my Morse code course

Not sure how she feels though, she keeps sending mixed signals.

My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing.

She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.

Homie: Do you know how to write "s" in morse code?

Me: ...

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Everyone's saying I'm paranoid for starting these Morse code lessons

but I'm positive those woodpeckers are talking shit

A series of dots and dashes is Morse code.

A series of sobs and tears is re-Morse code.

Telegraph Operators once complained to Morse how some of his codes were confusing and needs to be revised.

But he had no remorse.

What do you call an apology written in dots and lines?

A Re-Morse Code

I was walking past a building site when the guy hammering the roof called me a "paranoid little weirdo"

In morse code

So there's this bar in New York called Walter's...

So there's this bar in New York called Walter's - it's named after the guy who runs the place, Walter Green. He's an older guy who doesn't understand a lot of technological stuff, and so the bar is plain and simple, just as it was when he first opened it back in the 1960s. One of Walter's regular cu...

A Scientist is with his peer

The peer asks the scientist, "What are you working on?"

The scientist says, "Its amazing. I taught a dog how to communicate to humans with morse code!"

The two walk down the hall to see the dog and the scientist gives the dog a command. The dogs taps his paw on the ground with interval...

I had a party for the worlds greatest historical figures, here are their RSVPs

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Marie Curie: "I am radiating enthusiasm."

Ivan Pavlov: "I'm positively drooling at the thought."

Albert Einstein: "It will ...

How did the cryptographer tell his wife he was sorry again?

Re-morse code.

Friday afternoon I'm walking home from school

and I'm watching some men build a new house. The guy hammering the house called me a paranoid little weirdo. In Morse code.

Emo Phillips

Kim Jong Un released a statement today

I don’t know what it said it must’ve been Morse code, all it said was *beep* *beep* *beep* *beeeeeep*

Roman Numerals are very interesting... [LONG JOKE]

You turn on the radio one morning to find another one of those Rap songs where every 4th word is a swear. Naturally the Radio bleeps it out, but you realize that it sounds familiar. You realize that the rappers are speaking in Morse code.

Your eyes widen as you swerve over onto the shoulder ...

A biologist and a radio operator are stranded on an island

None of them had anything except the biologist's phone, and a radio.

The radio operator started to tune the radio to send morse code to send rescue.

The biologist simply made a phone call.

Within a few hours, the both of them were saved.

Amazed, the radio operator asked "...

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The german submarine in the Atlantic brings in a new communications guy.

It's his first day on the job and he's given instructions on which istrument does what and chart for morse code. Very excited about the job, he tunes in and is left to his own by his CO after a bit.

In a few hours, he receives his first message. "This is the Royal navy. Mayday Mayday, we are ...

Moms being Moms

*Issac Newton's mother--* "But did you wash the apple before eating it?"

*Archimedes's mother--* "Didn't you have any shame running naked in the street from? And, WHO is this girl Eureka???”

*Thomas Edison's mother--* Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now tu...

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