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Schools Jokes

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I really wish they'd taught sex in schools.

My science teacher didn't have a fucking clue what he was doing.

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Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

Politicians go visit a school

High ranking politicians visit a school. The top one goes over the expenses and decides to make adjustments to cut costs.
"The lunch portions are too big. Cut them in half. Internet connection too fast. Too many computers."

After that, they go to a preschool. Again, the expenses are too ...

My son was just thrown out of school

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job.
I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

What do schools and the anti-vax movement have in common?

Both are raising the world’s average IQ

China has been the most important country for American schools.

Because they invented both paper and gunpowder.

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First Day of School

Seven year-old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

"What's your name?" Asked the teacher.

"Mohammad", he replied.

"You're in America now", replied the teacher, "so from now on you will be known as 'Mike'".

Mohammad returned home after school.
...

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A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school...

A Jewish kid gets kicked out of every school he attends.

His parents try putting him in Jewish schools. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in public school. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in Montessori schools. Expelled.

His parents try putting him in Military s...

Why is the National Rifle Association filing for bankruptcy?

Because schools are closed.

Schools are no fun nowdays.

20 years ago, me and my friends could run round the playground giving wedgies, and at most we'd have to write lines.

We tried it today and got arrested.

Why don’t American schools give Fs on report cards anymore?

Because they’ve already paid enough respects to their students.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

Alabama changed the drinking age to 34

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools

TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32.

It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

Why do communists hate schools?

Because schools have classes

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