My opinion on abortion is kinda complicated.

I'm all for killing children, but I cant stand giving women rights.

Abortion isn't murder

It's cancelling a pre-order

My gf asked me if u knew what an abortion is

And I said no baby

What do you call a failed abortion?

Survival of the fetus

I locked myself out of my car next to an abortion clinic...

It was really awkward asking them for a hanger

If abortion is such a mature subject,

why does it bring out people's inner child?

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes

because there is no delivery.

What's the worst thing about accidentally locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?

Get his wife pregnant

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.”

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW DARK JOKE: Never eat out a woman who had an abortion.

That shit is haunted.

My wife is pregnant, but I want her to have an abortion

That way, she'll finally be the one who gets the life sucked out of her

What is the best name for an abortion clinic?

Don’t Kid Yourself.

How are abortions done in the Harry Potter universe?

*Fetus Deletus*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For the democrats: Abortion: Yes, and guns: No

For the republicans: No abortion, but we like guns. All life is sacred


Unless it enters my fucking property
*loads shotgun*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The easiest abortion I've ever performed was on a stripper.

It was like taking a baby from Candy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A time traveler goes back in time to force Hitler’s mom to have an abortion.

It was a miscarriage of justice.

What do you call a Spanish abortion?

Adios embrios

Abortions should be safe, legal and rare.

However, I am willing to accept medium rare or even medium as long as they are well seasoned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a pregnant woman in Texas get a legal abortion?

Trespass.

What do you call a cow that had an abortion?

Decaffeinated

I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic

They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.

The owner of the only abortion clinic that vowed to defy Texas' new law prohibiting abortions past 6 weeks says, it's never been busier...

"Currently we got a 24 month wait list"

I wrote a joke about abortion...

But i decided not to keep it

I have the worst parents ever. I asked them how they felt on abortion, and they told me to ask my sister.

Not only did they not give a straight answer, I don't even have a sister.

What's an effective way to get Texas Lawmakers to change their view on abortion law?

Get their wives pregnant, if they have any.

I saw an anti-abortion meme and wondered about copyright law ...

Does the image come with reproduction rights?

I still don't know how i feel about abortion

On the one hand, I am in favor, since this is the murder of children.
On the other hand, I am against it, because it gives women the right to choose.

What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?

.. a cancelled check ..

My wife didn’t want to get an abortion but I did

So we met in the middle and sent him to school in America

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.



Which, incidentally, is also why most Afghanistan jokes are falling flat.

But also because everyone knows the Dems are pro-choice, they didn't have to abort a whole country just to prove it.



I think I'm startin...

Abortions are for....

Abortions are for the anti-vaxxer who don't waste time.

Why are Catholics so anti abortion?

So they have a good supply of young children in their foster homes for the priests.

Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion

They just ask if you want takeout or delivery

I just figured out why USA is about to ban abortion (dark)

That's to have more targets for their school shootings

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the abortion ban in Alabama yesterday, my girlfriend is too scared to even have sex with me

Too bad my other sister isn't helping out either.

What do you call a gamer who works at a abortion clinic?

Spawn camper

Anti-abortion campaigners be like....

"You cannot defeat us!!"

What’s the difference between an abortion and a belly flop off the high dive?

The price

Abortion is now illegal

So... I guess I’m an antivax parent

What are your views on abortion?

Me: It really brings out the kid in you.

Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

What do get when you cross an Imperial cruiser with an abortion clinic?

A Stork Destroyer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] "My wife is such a hypocrite, she is dead against abortion" said husband

Friend: "So why hypocrite?"
Husband: "It's a totally different fucking story when she found out my girlfriend was pregnant!"

What is it called when you screw a girl that's had 10 abortions.

A graveyard smash.

I asked my GF, "Why do abortion jokes made you laugh so much?"

She said, "because they bring out the kid in me."

What's the best thing about abortion jokes?

They never get old.

President Trump was told about the new abortion bill.

Trump in a low whisper to his chief of staff:
“I thought I paid that bill already.”

A congressional aide asks the politician, “What should we do about this abortion bill?”

Politician: Shh. Just pay it.

The best thing about being an abortion doctor

You don't have to buy dog food

I finally found out what they call the vacuum at the abortion clinic

Woomba

I'm going to do an abortion joke but if you don't like it,

I'll get rid of it and we'll pretend like it never happened.

My wife and I are considering having an abortion

How do we tell the surrogate?

What do you call a woman who recently had an abortion?

Pregnain't

What did one twin say to the other after surviving a failed abortion.

They will never de-fetus.

A researcher conducted a study on the thoughts and feelings of women after having an abortion.

The findings were not a parent.

If a veterinarian says a pregnant cow needs to have an abortion...

Does that mean he's ordering a de-calf?

My girlfriend told me she wanted to get an abortion, and asked me to give her $50 to help pay for it.

About an hour later, she came back home with a copy of Warcraft 3: Reforged.

My moms sister is Anti-abortion

It’s a bit of a cruel nickname but she has had 5 of them.

So I was rewatching old seasons of spongebob and found this joke

Spongebob: *changes his shape to look like Texas*

Also Spongebob: “hey Patrick what do I look like”

Patrick: “stupid”

Spongebob: “no I’m Texas”

Patrick: “what’s the difference”

*both laugh*
(I thought this might be relevant considering the mess in Texas right no...

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

What do an eraser company and an abortion clinic have in common?

They both make money on your mistakes.

Abortion is like a double edged sword for me

I like the ides of killing babies but I don't like the idea of giving women a choice

[NSFW] What did they name the new abortion clinic?

Ctrl+Z

What happens when you abort an abortion?

Me

What do you call a motel abortion?

An early checkout...

What do abortions and Digiorno have in common?

They're not delivery, but they taste OK.

I always get really hung up on the topic of abortion...

Like, on the one hand I love the idea of killing babies, but on the other hand I hate women having rights!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl walks into a "no questions asked" abortion clinic.

The nurse says, "How can I help you?"

Girl says, "LYING BASTARDS!" and leaves.

My entire family urged me to get an abortion but my grandparents supported my decision.

They are great grandparents.

I was going to write a joke about abortion

But I fear my intentions would be miscarried.

I can't stand abortions

I'm ok with killing babies... but the idea of a woman making decisions just doesn't sit right with me.

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

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