My opinion on abortion is kinda complicated.

I'm all for killing children, but I cant stand giving women rights.

Why is working at the abortion clinic so much fun?

They bring out the kid in you.

I wrote this joke about abortion.

I don't think I'm gonna keep it.

My gf asked me if u knew what an abortion is

And I said no baby

Any joke can be made funny with the right delivery except abortion jokes

Because there isn't a delivery

(Cake day post)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A time traveler goes back in time to force Hitler’s mom to have an abortion.

It was a miscarriage of justice.

Abortion isn't murder

It's cancelling a pre-order

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?

Get his wife pregnant

If abortion is such a mature subject,

why does it bring out people's inner child?

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.”

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

What’s the difference between an abortion and a belly flop off the high dive?

The price

What do you call a failed abortion?

Survival of the fetus

My wife is pregnant, but I want her to have an abortion

That way, she'll finally be the one who gets the life sucked out of her

What are your views on abortion?

Me: It really brings out the kid in you.

I curled up crying when I got my rejection letter from the abortion clinic.

They said they didn't need anyone in the fetal position.

Whats worse then getting your car keys stuck in the lock outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask for a coathanger.

What is your stance with abortion?

I like to put my back on the wall and squat just a little bit.

What do get when you cross an Imperial cruiser with an abortion clinic?

A Stork Destroyer

Jokes about abortion don’t work

There’s just no delivery

daughter: Dad, what's your opinion on abortions?

Dad: Ask your sister

daughter: but I don't have a sister

Dad: exactly

What do they call an abortion in Prague?

A cancelled Czech

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] "My wife is such a hypocrite, she is dead against abortion" said husband

Friend: "So why hypocrite?"
Husband: "It's a totally different fucking story when she found out my girlfriend was pregnant!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The stripper got an abortion

It was like taking baby from a Candy

My girlfriend told me she wanted to get an abortion, and asked me to give her $50 to help pay for it.

About an hour later, she came back home with a copy of Warcraft 3: Reforged.

The best thing about being an abortion doctor

You don't have to buy dog food

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the abortion ban in Alabama yesterday, my girlfriend is too scared to even have sex with me

Too bad my other sister isn't helping out either.

What do you call a Spanish abortion?

Adios embrios

Abortion is like a double edged sword for me

I like the ides of killing babies but I don't like the idea of giving women a choice

A joke about abortion.

Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday.

Abortion is now illegal

So... I guess I’m an antivax parent

Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion

They just ask if you want takeout or delivery

If a veterinarian says a pregnant cow needs to have an abortion...

Does that mean he's ordering a de-calf?

What happens when you abort an abortion?


Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

My wife didn’t want to get an abortion but I did

So we met in the middle and sent him to school in America

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men meet in a prison yard, 2 of them are white and the other black.

The first white man asks the other, "What are you in for?"

"I raided my company's 401k, and stole millions from my employees. My lawyer says I'll be out within 3 years."

"I shot up an abortion clinic and killed 2 doctors, but my lawyer says I won't do more than 5 years."


Dark humor

Why did people stare at the guy eating baby back ribs

Because he was at an abortion clinic

Abortion clinics really don't get the credit they deserve.

I mean, they're killin it out there.

[NSFW] What did they name the new abortion clinic?


What do you call a motel abortion?

An early checkout...

My moms sister is Anti-abortion

It’s a bit of a cruel nickname but she has had 5 of them.

What is it called when you screw a girl that's had 10 abortions.

A graveyard smash.

Why are Catholics so anti abortion?

So they have a good supply of young children in their foster homes for the priests.

What do an eraser company and an abortion clinic have in common?

They both make money on your mistakes.

My entire family urged me to get an abortion but my grandparents supported my decision.

They are great grandparents.

I was going to write a joke about abortion

But I fear my intentions would be miscarried.

What do you call a woman who recently had an abortion?


President Trump was told about the new abortion bill.

Trump in a low whisper to his chief of staff:
“I thought I paid that bill already.”

What do abortions and Digiorno have in common?

They're not delivery, but they taste OK.

Y'all have heard of Joe's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic where yesterday's loss is today's sauce

Now get ready for Joe's Thanksgiving And Abortion Store
"Where Yesterdays Baby is Today's Gravy!"

Pulling out is a skill baesd game, while ........

Pulling out is a skill based game, while condoms are pay-to-win.

Abortion, on the other hand is a cheat code.

A researcher conducted a study on the thoughts and feelings of women after having an abortion.

The findings were not a parent.

I'm going to do an abortion joke but if you don't like it,

I'll get rid of it and we'll pretend like it never happened.

I always get really hung up on the topic of abortion...

Like, on the one hand I love the idea of killing babies, but on the other hand I hate women having rights!!!

What did one twin say to the other after surviving a failed abortion.

They will never de-fetus.

A congressional aide asks the politician, “What should we do about this abortion bill?”

Politician: Shh. Just pay it.

My mom's pro choice. Her sister is anti-abortion

It's a terrible nickname, but she's had four.

A pregnant lady locks her keys inside her car by an abortion clinic.

Imagine the look on the receptionists face when the pregnant lady asks her for a coat hanger.

Most anti-abortion people aren't pro-life

Don't believe me? Just look at how they treat the living.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people think the Alabama abortion law is too strict...

On the bright side, it's a great way to encourage men to practice safe sex when they fuck their daughters.

Edit : one word

I love abortions

They really bring out the kid in you

Why is Alabama against abortion?

What happens to a family, stays in the family.

How do refer to a abortion in Czechoslovakia?

A cancelled check....

My wife recently said she had an abortion.

She’s not kidding

Stop writing hateful things about Alabama and the abortion laws all over social media.

They likely can't read, we will need to tell them in person.

I took an Economics class last semester and it finally clicked why my Priest is so against abortion.

Supply and Demand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If abortions are illegal in 2 states

Sex without conception can become premeditated attempted murder.

Don't want your child but to late for an abortion?

Don't vaccinate them and wait 3-10 years

I asked my GF, "Why do abortion jokes made you laugh so much?"

She said, "because they bring out the kid in me."

What do gamer’s call an Abortion

“Spawn kill”

We've all seen the news, so hurry up and get your abortion jokes out now

It's going to get uncomfortable if the subject isn't terminated within about 6 weeks from now

You know how all these actresses are pulling out of Georgia over the abortion thing...

don't they know that isn't effective birth control?

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

I asked my mom about her abortion stance...

She squatted then said, "It doesn't work"

The Alabama legislature didn’t include an exemption for cases of incest in their abortion ban.

They knew that if they had the law would only have prohibited 5% of Alabama pregnancies from being aborted.

I can't stand abortions

I'm ok with killing babies... but the idea of a woman making decisions just doesn't sit right with me.

Unpopular opinion: People criticizing Alabama's new abortion laws are ignorant and intolerant

It's a family matter for them, after all.

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