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Hovers Jokes

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A fly hovers above a lake.

A fly hovers six inches above a lake. A fish, just underneath the surface, thinks "If that fly drops six inches, I can jump up and eat the fly."

Meanwhile, a nearby bear thinks "If that fly drops six inches, the fish will eat the fly, and I can eat the fish."

Meanwhile, a hunter in the...

God Will Save Me

A man of faith hears on the radio there's going to be flooding. He shrugs at thradio and says, "God will take care of me."

He wakes up the next day and the first floor of his house is flooded.. as the water rises, he climbs up into the roof.

A guy floats by in a canoe and s...

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A lot of SHIT

Out in the forest a fly is hovering above the river. In that river a fish is eyeing the fly thinking "If that fly comes a little bit lower I can jump up and grab that fly for a nice meal." On the rivers edge a bear is waiting and that bear is thinking "If that fly goes a little bit lower and that fi...

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One day a very religious man is praying at home when suddenly a tsunami hits.

He climbs to the roof of his house to avoid the flood and starts praying to God to save him.

"Oh God, I've worshipped you all my life, I'm not ready to die. Please save me from this flood"

After a few minutes of this, a guy on a rowing boat see's the man in distress and calls out
...

Moses, Jesus and a bearded old man are playing golf.

Moses hits a long one, but it rolls to a river. Moses raises his golf club, the waters part, and the ball rolls into the hole.

Jesus also hits a long one towards the same river, but just as it is about to fall into the water it stops and hovers above it. Jesus walks to the river, and chips it...

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Plane in a storm.

A plane gets caught up in a violent storm. Lightning bolts hit the plane several times, strong winds buffet it in all directions. All of the passengers are sure they are going to die. Some are screaming, many are throwing up, a few are praying.

Finally, an attractive, smartly-dressed business...

A goddess appears out of nowhere during an academic meeting.

The assembled faculty are dumbstruck as she hovers over the conference table. The goddess floats to a place directly in front of the school's philosophy professor. She speaks to him.

"You are a virtuous mortal. I have decided to grant you a wish. I will give you unfathomable wealth or ultimat...

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

Moses, Jesus, and an old old man are playing golf the other dayyyyy.... [longish]

Moses tees off, and the ball heads straight for the water hazard. *plop*
He walks over and uses his club to part the water, and smacks the ball up to the green. One more stroke gets him the par 3.

Jesus is up next and his ball too, goes straight for the water hazard. Luckily it hovers jus...

A man visits his parents' home in the countryside...

A man visits his parents' home in the countryside, and finds that the village is facing a major drought. The village's chief compels him to help by drilling the ground for water. The man agrees.

While the man is drilling, the village chief hovers right behind him, and yells out at random.
...

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Miracles CAN Occur! NSFW

There's a city with a fierce storm and the flood waters threaten to rise.

A devout man goes outside and prays, "Dear Lord, please save me from this flood!"

A bus rolls up to the man and says, "Get in! I'm taking you to safety!"

The man says, "No. God will provide for me." And t...

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Dam Buster?

Theres an old village in a valley some where with a Dam at one end.

One day theres an earthquake and a crack appears in the dam and the village starts to slowly flood.

The emergency services and army are called and the village is cleared, other than the village church where the priest ...

Moses, Jesus and a third man are playing golf one day.

Moses is up first. He hits a nice shot, but it dips and lands in a water trap. Moses quickly raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls out of the trap.

Jesus is up next. He hits an almost identical shot, again landing in the water trap. The ball hovers a few inches over the surface...

God will save me!

A priest was on a cruise ship when the ship began to sink quite suddenly. Being a man who puts others before himself, he finds the smallest piece of driftwood that would support his weight, grabs hold of it and floats in the middle of the ocean. 15 minutes go by and along comes a rubber dinghy, almo...

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