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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you ...

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There's a forest, and in this forest is a river and hovering above this river is a fly.

Looking at this fly is a fish and the fish is looking at this fly and is thinking: you know what, that fly drops six inches, I'm gonna go up there, get that fly and have myself a really nice meal.


What the fish didn't realize was that there was a bear looking at the fish looking at the fl...

The guy at the tuxedo store kept hovering around me, so I told him to leave me alone.

He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”

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A fly is hovering six inches above a lake.

Under the water, a fish is sizing up the fly. "If that fly would just drop six inches, I could eat it," it thinks.
On the shore of the lake, a bear is eyeing the fish. "If that fly drops six inches, the fish will go for it, and I can catch the fish while it's distracted."
On top of a nearby hi...

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(Long)(Dirty) A fly was hovering 6 inches above a stream...

Below that stream was a fish. He watched thay fly intently, saying 'if that fly dropped about 6 inches, I could swim up and have some lunch.'

On the bank of the stream was a bear. He sees the fish is distracted and says to himself, 'if that fly drops about 6 inches, that fish will jump up, a...

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?

I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You m...

Two guys are in a helicopter.

During their flight the helicopter encounters some dense fog and quickly becomes lost. After a few minutes of careful maneuvering, the two find themselves hovering next to a large building where they can see a guy in his office, sitting at his desk. Thinking quickly, the copilot grabs a piece of pap...

A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.

Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.

**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.

The man stood, shocked, before gathering his...

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In the middle of the woods, there is a fly hovering over a lake...

In the lake, there is a fish. The fish sees the fly and says to itself, "If that fly were to come down about 4 inches, I could jump up and eat him!"

By the lake there is a bear. The bear sees the fly and the bear sees the fish and says to itself, "If that fly were to come down about 4 inches,...

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A fly is hovering above a pond

And there is a fish looking at the fly thinking if that fly just came down 3 inches I would be able to jump up and catch it. There is a bear thinking if that fly came down 3 inches that fish would jump up to catch it and I will be able to swipe at the fish. There is a Hunter and he is thinking if th...

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There was a fly hovering six inches above a lake

In the middle of the woods there was a small lake. In the middle of this lake there was a fly hovering six inches above the water.
Down in the water there was a fish. And the fish said:
If that fly drops six inches...I'm going to get that fly.
A little ways away from that there was ...

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A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and is lost

So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:

"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?"

- "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you'r...

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A guy gets into a terrible car accident.

Late in the night he finally regains consciousness. He finds himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering him. She gives him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he hears her slowly say "I’m sorry but you ma...

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An American redneck man wakes up to beaming lights blinding his vision for a moment as his vision comes into focus...

He see's standing above him 3 alien like creatures hovering over him while one pokes him with a sharp object. He screams out in pain and says, "Why the hell did you do that!?" The alien apologizes in perfect English taking the man by surprise. He then proceeds to ask, "Are you gonna do that thing wh...

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There is a fly.... (medium)

Hovering near the surface of a mountain lake. Over on the shore sits a frog. The frog says “If the fly drops four inches, I can eat him.”

Just below the surface of the lake is a fish. The fish sees the frog and says “If the fly drops for inches, the frog can get the fly, and I can get the fro...

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Farmer Bill goes into a bar and is greeted by the bartender.

Joe: "Hey bill, what’s up? You look awful"

Bill: "Oh it's really bad. I don't wanna talk about it."

Joe: "Come on. You know you can tell me anything."

Bill: "No, there are things you just CAN'T explain."


Bill talks a little more to Joe and after two beer he finally ...

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The Names Bond

So, James Bond retired and a new 007 took his place. She had trained all her life for this role, and was eager to do her duty for queen and country. Her first day on the job, she was introduced to Q, who debriefed her on all her new gadgets. The one he was most proud of was a dress that could perfor...

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Two nuns are driving down a dark, winding road in rural Romania. . .

when they turn a corner to see a vampire hovering over what appears to be a body in the middle of the road. It looks up and hisses as the headlights illuminate blood-covered fangs.

Sister Mary looks at Sister Elizabeth and says, "What should I do?"

Sister Elizabeth answers, "Show him y...

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A sequence of events...

There once was a fly hovering above a pond who wanted to drop an inch to eat some food. In that pond was a frog who said to themself “If that fly drops an inch I can jump and eat them!”. Under the water there was a fish who said to themself “If that fly drops an inch that frog will jump for it and I...

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Two men are sitting next to each other in a hotel bar

After they've each had a few, they begin to strike up a conversation. They chat on about business and family and life for a time. Then, after awhile, the first guy says, "Hey, do you want to hear something incredible?"

The second guy replies, "Sure, why not?"

"If you go to the roof of ...

Guy with the orange for a head. Who finds this funny?

A guy with an orange for a head walks into a bar and orders drinks for the whole place. Within a half hour he has almost every girl in the place hovering around him and trying to get close to him. He leaves and comes back several times, each time with a different girl.

As the night wears on, ...

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Doug comes home very drunk one night...

He sneaks upstairs to his bedroom and passes out next to his wife, Shirley. All of a sudden, his room fills with a bright light and hovering over the foot of the bed is an angel. Doug is very frightened and has no idea what is going on. The angel says, "Doug, don't be afraid. I am come to tell y...

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When I was 10

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumb...

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When the fly drops 6 inches

So there's this fly, hovering above a river. Inside this river is a fish. The fish sees the fly hovering up above him and thinks, if that fly drops six inches I could swim up and eat it and have me some lunch.

Meanwhile off in the distance, a bear walks by. He sees the fish and he sees the fl...

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It's a lot of fun to tell this one if you've been drinking, but it's not easy.

So there's this fly hovering 12 inches above the water.

And there's this fish whose looking at this fly, thinking "If that fly drops 6 inches, I can jump up and get that fly."

But there's this bear looking at this fish, whose looking at the fly, thinking, "If that fly drops 6 inches, t...

Old joke- old man.

Two guys are drinking at a bar. After a while they can’t help but notice all the really good looking women hovering around this old guy at the end of the bar.

They can’t figure it out so after a while they asked bartender. He says “I don’t know what the deal is either. The guy just comes in ...

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A lot of SHIT

Out in the forest a fly is hovering above the river. In that river a fish is eyeing the fly thinking "If that fly comes a little bit lower I can jump up and grab that fly for a nice meal." On the rivers edge a bear is waiting and that bear is thinking "If that fly goes a little bit lower and that fi...

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A billionaire commissions an artist to paint a mural in one of his currently white walls in his mansion...

The billionaire is a huge history buff. He tells the artist to depict his interpretation of the final thoughts of General Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn. He trusts the highly recommended artist that upon his return in a week, the mural will be incredible.

The billionaire returns a w...

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(Long) If the fly drops six inches (Best if you can rattle it off fast)

There's a fly hovering over a lake. In the lake looking up at the fly is a fish, and the fish is hungry. It's looking at the fly thinking "if that fly were to just drop six inches, i could jump up and grab it, and have a tasty meal".

There's a bear on the shore. It's looking at the fish, who...

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Guy pulls into a road-side restaurant after a long day on the road.

Sits at the counter next to another guy, who's hovering over his bowl of chili. The guy is famished and is about to order food, when he leans in and asks the other guy hovering over the bowl, "Say, is that chili any good?"

The hovering guys responds, "Yes."

The traveler, slightly confu...

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There is a moral to this story

So there was once this fly flying around above the great lakes with no real destination, There was also this salmon stuck forever doomed to a fresh water lake, but it was one of the great lakes so it could have been worse. The salmon had noticed the fly flying around above the lake and thought to i...

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Every Time a Fly Goes Down a Few Inches

So there was a fish swimming in a pond and it looks up and sees a fly hovering a few inches above the water. So the fish thinks to himself "If that fly would drop down a few inches I could jump up and eat it."

A bear comes up to the edge of the pond and sees the fish and fly and he thinks to ...

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What's the Moral of the story?

Picture a tranquil pond and in this pond there’s a small fish swimming just under the water and he spots a fly hovering above the water and thinks to himself if that fly were to drop just 6 inches I would be able to jump up and get him. So the fish went about his business keeping an eye on the fly.<...

the lord will save me

So there is a religious guy living in an area that is being greatly flooded.
(Let’s call him father Otis)
when there is a couple of inches of water on the ground a guy on a surfboard comes along and says in a think Mexican accent "father Otis I get you to safety just hop on my board and I take...

Trump Meets The Queen

Arriving in England in his private jet, Mr. Trump boarded a waiting limousine where he met the Queen. Together they drove to London where they switched to a carriage hitched to six white horses. As the coach proceeded to Buckingham Palace, the rear horse let fly a putrid, long-hovering fart. The coa...

Three friends were on a desert island

Three friends were on a desert island. They were Roger, a married man, Carl, a famous athlete, and Stevie, the third friend usually alone. One day, while working on their survival, they came across a brass lamp on the ground. They each took turns cleaning it, when all of the sudden a genie came o...

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