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Activate Jokes

Flight Attendant: Please don't forget to activate 'airplane mode'

Me: Running around with my arms spread making airplane noises.

If you activate a bomb, how do you deactivate it?

Quick answers please.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just bought my new car stereo, which is voice activated.

If I shout "country" it plays Dolly Parton, if I shout "rock" it plays Guns and Roses. I was driving through town the other day when some children ran out in front of me, I shouted "FUCKING KIDS!" and it started playing Michael Jackson.

Medical advances these days are absolutely crazy. They've found ways to activate taste buds in people who were born without the sense. Surprisingly most people don't like it at first.

Its an acquired taste.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voice activated radio.

I just bought a voice activated stereo for my car. Whatever genre of music you say, it will play the most popular artist from that genre of all time.


I told my radio "Rap"

2 Pac started playing on the stereo.

I then told my stereo "Heavy Metal"

It blared Metallica...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese.

His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a businessman whose wife was REALLY into sex.

He was a hardworking guy but still managed to satisfy his wife's needs.

One time he had to leave for another country for a business meet. He would've been gone for a week.
He knew his wife's sex drive and didn't want to take risks so he thought he should gift her something so she can sat...

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