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Hot Weather Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This hot weather...

The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts...

Although it does make me look a bit gay.

Why do you never use a cannon in hot weather?

It shoots itself at 90 degrees

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Pack your bags, honey" a man says to his wife, "I've just won the lottery"

"Oh, how exciting" she says, "Should I pack for cold weather, or hot weather?

"I don't give a shit, as long as you're out of here by this evening."

I walked into the pet shop this morning and said to the cashier, "I bought two hamsters from you yesterday, but when I woke up this morning, they were both dead!" She frowned and replied, "I warned you about the hot weather. Did you give them plenty of water like I suggested?"

"Yes, I filled their tank right to the top."

I just bought a new hat...

...with a built-in fan that keeps my head cool during hot weather.

It really blows my mind.

A man wins the lottery

He bursts into his bedroom and screams to his wife “WOW, I won! I finally won the lottery! Pack your bags quick”. The woman all excited replied “should I pack for cold or hot weather?” To which the man said “I don’t care as long as you are out of my house by noon”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies and goes to hell

When he arrives, he meets the devil, standing in front of three doors.

"What are these doors?" The man asks.

The devil tells him "Hell isn't so bad, you get to choose your accommodations. Behind these doors are your three options."

The man then asks to see behind each door, so h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scam alert! Men beware

During the recent hot weather here in the UK we have had a couple of young women operating a scam at our local supermarket. They offer a while-you-wait car valeting service - you just drive in and while you sit there, one of them washes the outside of the car while the other vacuums the inside. They...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today President Trump said that the government’s attempts to control the Corona Virus are succeeding, but to please take these additional precautions:

1) Because there has been some controversy over what to call the disease, Trump announced that henceforth it will be called the “Pelosi Virus.”

2) Because the virus seems to have more difficulty spreading in hot weather, Spring has been cancelled. Summer will start this year on March 21.
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