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Sizzling Jokes

The modern steak was invented when a piece of meat accidentally fell from a shelf, hit another two shelves, and fell right into a sizzling pan

Ba dum tss

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A young man stopped at a local restaurant after a day of roaming around in Spain

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious-looking platter being served at the next table.

It looked good.

It smelled good.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's te...

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Egg and a sausage sizzling away in a frying pan

The egg says "fuck me its hot in here". The sausage goes "fuck me, a talking egg!"

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Three moles are crawling through their borrow on their way to breakfast, one right after the other.

The first mole says, “I can already smell that sizzling bacon.”

The second mole says, “I’m pretty sure I can smell hot pancakes with fresh butter and syrup.”

The last mole says, “the only thing I can smell is molasses.”

Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth.

For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.

Did you know that animals make a different sounds depending what part of the world you are in....?

For example, in China, Dogs makes a sizzling sound!


*I know I am going to hell for this but this was an old joke that was told to me. *

The Electric Bus

It’s a new day in the world of public school transportation as the fleet has been switched over to electric powered buses. Everything has been working out wonderfully except for ongoing issues with bus 118.

Not every day, but at least once a week, bus 118 would be out on it’s run when there ...

A Lutheran moves into a neighborhood of Roman Catholics on the first day of Lent.

That Friday, the man grills out on his patio, filling the neighborhood with the mouthwatering aroma of seared steak. All his neighbors, being practicing Catholics, are obliged to abstain from eating meat on Fridays during Lent. Needless to say, they aren't particularly happy about it. The next Frida...

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An old man decides that he wants to see a bullfight before he dies.

Immediately upon arriving in Spain, the man makes his way to the arena, then cheers along with the crowd as he watches the matador fight the bull. For as much fun as it is, he soon realizes that the travel and the excitement have left him feeling worn out, so he decides to find a nearby restaurant b...

An old couple talks to their doctor about their memory loss. The doctor suggests that they write things down so they don't forget.

One day, both of them are sitting on the couch when Grandma asks for a bowl of ice cream.

"Coming right up," Gramps says, slowly getting onto his feet and heading towards the kitchen.

"Aren't you going to write that down?"

"Write that down? Of course not. I can remember a bowl o...

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Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is l...

Boudreaux the Baptist

Boudreaux was a Cajun highlander from Rapides Parish in central Louisiana who was born and raised a Baptist . Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, as a point of interest, all of Boudreaux's neighbors were Catholic and as such were for...

The Hungover Chef

A Chef named Ted comes in early to work one Sunday morning, hungover from a crazy party the night before. In his tired state he begin to talk to all of the Breakfast food he's making for the brunch buffet about to start.

Ted looks over at the toast and asks "how are you feeling this morning ...

The Diner's Challenge

A connoisseur is looking for new restaurants to visit and notices one that promises to be able to serve the meat of any animal. He thinks it's a hoax but decides to give it a try anyway.

He enters the restaurant and is seated at a table with fine white tablecloth and expensive-looking silverw...

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A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff...

...they all die and go to Heaven. As they were approaching the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter comes out to greet them:
"My dear sisters, welcome to Heaven”, said the apostle. The nuns were thrilled to meet him, but he proceeded without delay: “Please form a line while I go back inside to get somethin...

Religious traditions

Back in the 1950's a Catholic neighbourhood was settling down to eat their Friday night fish when they smelled a delicious steak wafting from the recently-purchased house nearby. The men of the neighbourhood looked and saw their new neighbour having a BBQ. They looked at their fish but remained stoi...

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Anything can happen at a ska show

A few weeks ago, my band was opening for a slightly more famous band at a moderately large local venue. This was one of the biggest gigs we'd had yet, and so I was seriously stressing about it beforehand, even though our sax player kept telling me not to. "Relax, you've been playing keyboards all yo...

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian are all best friends. They have this tradition of meeting up at a certain coffee shop and talking about this and that while they eat their collective favorite desert; cherry pie.

One day, as the friends are enjoying their cherry pie, the topic of who’s religio...

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