UPJOKE
powerpointreleasepress releasecharitybrochurebookletpostcardscouponsgiveawaygoodiesblurbfreebieiouannouncementpromulgation

Handout Jokes

What should we do with people who rely on government handouts, but refuse to work?

Kick them out of congress.

A homeless man is on the street corner begging for money

A wealthy lawyer walks past him. "Pardon me, sir, but do you have any spare change?"

The lawyer looks annoyed, and turns to him. "No, no I don't. I don't believe in giving handouts to bums. But I tell you what," he said, handing him a business card, "if you come to my house tomorrow morni...

Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts?

It was a leper con.

"IRONY"...

"IRONY"...

This is short and to the point:
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered b...

There is one thing I hate about lazy and entitled cannibals

They're always looking for handouts.

The Beggar Girl

In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a stre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Birthday Party

A woman is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out..... caterer, band, and even a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. G...

Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman

Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman are walking along the beach together, when they come upon a lamp in the sand. Being familiar with such clichés, they picked up the lamp, rubbed it, and lo and behold a genie appeared before them.

"For releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you both one ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old lady and the prostitutes' queue

The municipal government has recently received a report of a possible outbreak of a dangerous strain of STD. Seeing the risks of a large infection coming from the local prostitution area/red light district, the government has decided to take action, in the form of free handouts of condoms to the loc...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.