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Little Red Riding Hood strolls into a dark forest, delivering her goodies as usual.

“La la la la la, la la la la la,” she caroled.

All of the sudden she encounters a vicious wolf that appears to be behind a tree. She becomes fearful for her life, but the wolf notices her presence and runs off into the darkness.

Red, confused, shrugs and goes about her stroll.

...

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds

He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery.

One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally...

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Goodies but oldies

This is actually a repost from along time ago but fuck it. Thank you for thr 2 day long laugh guy here it goes.


One day this home owner goes to his back yard and sees a freaking gorrilla on his tree. He freaks out so he searches up for a gorrila expert on the yellow book. He calls and the...

My own pastor told me this joke at Church

A man is sleeping peacefully in his comfortable bed.

His mother suddenly yells at him, "GET UP! YOU'LL BE LATE FOR CHURCH!"

He groans. "I don't want to go to church."

Mom: "Why not?"

Man: "I don't like any of the people there. They're such goodie goodies, it's boring."...

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Fruit Basket

A man takes his girlfriend on a weekend getaway to a beach resort. They check in and the concierge takes them up to show them their lavish suite. He points out the huge fruit basket filled with goodies as they enter, The suite has great views of the ocean, a jacuzzi etc etc... They tip the concierge...

A zookeeper was doing his rounds one day

He had with him a rucksack and a broom. He had to inspect all the cages and make sure they were clean. First he checked on the bird sanctuary. Aside from Some droppings there were 2 dead birds on the ground. He scooped them into his rucksack and moved on.
Next, he checked the primate cages and he...

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An 18 year old kid spends his first day in prison.. [NSFW]

He ends up getting a bunk mate whose an older guy, and been inside for while. This older guy has access to lots of goodies such as oreos and cup of noodles etc.. In prison that is basically its own form of currency. The old man can tell the kid is scared and tells him
"I'll tell you what kid I'l...

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