My friend said i couldnt hit the broadside of a barn.

I didnt mean to hit the dog!

A farmer was in court being questioned by a lawyer.

The lawyer asks the farmer ‘did you tell the officer you were fine?’

The farmer replies ‘well I was crossing the road when the semi...’

The lawyer cuts him off and says ‘it’s a yes or no question. Did you tell the officer you were fine?’

The farmer again starts to say ‘well I wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new Swabbie joins a Pirate's crew.

A new Swabbie joins a Pirate's crew. He goes to the Captain's quarters and meets the Pirate Captain. He's a grizzled man with a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch.

Swabbie: Ahoy Captain, it's looks like you've had quite the history.

Cpt: Aye, I've been sailing these seven seas sinc...

A Bad Sign

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him.

He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees a pirate.

A man strolls into his local bar and is shocked to see a pirate sitting at the end of the bar. The guy was decked out, eye patch, peg leg, and a hook hand. A real, proper pirate.

So the man says "why not?" And pulls up a seat next to the pirate. He buys a round for himself and the pirate and ...

Game of Thrones's Night King disappointed me ...

He's not even able to hit the broadside of a Bran...

A classic

Judge "I see by your filing sir that you are suing the defendant for damages and injuries received when his cattle truck ran a red light and broadsided your car, now the damages I can understand but the defendant has provided a police report that says you claimed to be uninjured at the scene, why ar...

Last night

I was driving home from work when a BMW pulled up next to me at a stoplight. The driver, a dark skinned man with a thick bushy beard, started screaming and flipping me off. He yelled something like "I love snack bars." I couldn't quite understand him over his passengers yelling "death to America" a...

The Good Natured Hunter

Two old fellows are out hunting. The one with the gun sees a buck, broadside, and glistening in the sunlight. Just as he is about to take the shot they see a funeral procession going along a road in the distance. The fellow lowers his gun and tips his hat at the procession - and the deer runs off in...

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