A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

Bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here"

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"Do you know the difference between a Blowjob and a ham sandwich?"

"No why?"

"Perfect, let's go to lunch"

What did the Ham Sandwich say to his girlfriend, the Cheese Sandwich ?

You’re Grate in Bread.

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A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. (Long)

The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!"
Exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working, too,"
Says the duck.
"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certa...

Two Slices in a Ham Sandwich Marry Each Other.

I bet their children will be inbread.

What's the difference between a turkey sandwich and a ham sandwich?

A turkey sandwich doesn't recognize the Armenian genocide

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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,

"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on...

A priest and a Rabi

A priest and a Rabbi walk in restaurant and the priest orders a ham sandwich while the Rabbi orders a salad. After a while the priest says "Have you ever actually had a ham sandwich before?" The Rabbi replies " Ya, once in college. It was okay". After sitting for a while the Rabbi says "Have you eve...

3 men on construction site

3 men are on a construction site of a highrise during lunch

1st guy opens up his lunch box and sees a ham sandwich. He says "ham ham ham that's all I get. If I get another ham sandwich I'm jumping off this building and killing myself."

2nd guy opens up his lunch box and sees a turkey ...

My dad´s always complaining about the cost of things...

"€1.50 for a coffee? €3.75 for a miserable ham sandwich?" Honestly, he was moaning about it all afternoon. That´s the last time I invite him over to my house.

A priest and a rabbi are friends . . .

And the priest is always talking to the rabbi about how great ham sandwiches are, and how he's totally missing out by not being able to eat them. Every time they have lunch together, he orders a ham sandwich, and spends the entire meal raving about how salty and savory and delicious it is. Any time...

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

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Three construction workers are eating lunch on a beam of a 50 story building...

First guy looks in his lunch box. "Tuna again. If I have to eat this shit one more time, I'm gonna kill myself."

Second guy looks in his lunch box. "Egg salad again. If I gotta eat this shit one more time, I'm gonna kill myself, too."

Third guy looks in his lunch box. "Goddamn bologna....

A Catholic priest and a Jewish Rabbi meet at a delicatessen for lunch.

The Rabbi orders the pastrami, the priest orders the ham.

"I'm just curious," the priest says to the Rabbi. "Why can't you eat ham?"

"Never really thought about it," the Rabbi replies. "As a Jew, it's just one of the ways we are expected to show our devotion and obedience to God."
<...

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A joke my dad told me when I was a kid.

3 men work as window washers on a skyscraper, and every day the three men took their lunch on the roof. One day the first man, a brunette, opened his lunch and said:


"My wife packed me turkey again! If I have turkey one more time, I'm going to jump off this roof and kill myself."

...

Guy goes into a deli

He looks over the menu:

Ham sandwich: $5
Roast beef sandwich: $7.50
Handjob: $250

He looks at the hot blonde behind the counter and says, "who gives the handjob?"

"I do!" She says with a smile!

"Well, wash your hands and make me a ham sandwich"

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There were three men working at a construction site...

...an Australian called Bruce, an Englishman called John and an Irishman called Paddy.

Bruce got tired of getting the same old sandwich day after day, so he said "if I get another Vegemite sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump of this building".

John got tired of getting the same old sandwich d...

Airport security asked me if I've seen anything unusual

...I just paid $18 for a coke & a ham sandwich...Let's start with that.

A Mexican, an Italian and a blonde American construction worker.

A Mexican, an Italian and a blonde American construction worker are all sitting to have lunch on the 20th floor of a building they are working on. The Mexican opens his lunch and sees he has tacos. He looks at the other and says "tacos again, I am so sick of tacos, if I have tacos in my lunch again ...

Paddy and mick

Paddy and mick were having lunch together.
Paddy opens his lunch box
"Feck me Mick, that's chicken sandwiches every day for the third week running. If I get chicken again tomorrow I'm gonna go jump off the roof and kill myself"

Mick opens his lunchbox and has a ham sandwich,
"Fecki...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all work on a building site...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all work on a building site. The lunch bell goes and they all go and sit upon the scoffolding and have their lunch.

The Englishman opens his lunchbox and says, "Ergh, a ham sandwich! If I get this again I'm going to kill myself."

The Irishman ...

A man walks into a bar ...

He goes straight to the bar and asks the barmaid for a beer which she begins to pour, while he's waiting he notices their small food menu to the side:

Cheese Sandwich £5

Ham Sandwich £5

Handjob £5

In disbelief he looks up at the barmaid who is absolutely gorgeous and ask...

An english, scottish, and irish man...

A English, a Scottish, and a Irish man work as construction workers and are on a job site atop a tall building being constructed. As they sat around eating lunch the English man says "I am sick of ham sandwiches. If my wife makes me another ham sandwich I'm going to jump off this building." The Scot...

Priest and Rabbi

A priest and a rabbi were having lunch and the priest asked, "Have you ever strayed from not eating pork?" The rabbi said, "Well, once, but there was absolutely nothing else to eat, so I had a ham sandwich."

Then the rabbi asked the priest, "Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?" The ...

A blond, a redhead, and a brunette are at school one day eating lunch

The blond says to her friends, "If I have another turkey sandwich for lunch, I'm going to kill myself!" The redhead, knowing how she feels says, "if I get a ham sandwich for lunch one more time, then I'm going to kill myself!" The brunette chimes in and says, "you know, if I get another stupid tuna ...

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Prostitution Sandwich

So this guy walks into a bar and on that little chalk board where they put the specials it says "happy hour deals: grilled cheese and draft beer: $10, ham sandwich $5, sex $100." After some conaideration, the guy asks the really sexy bartender "are you the one that does the sex?" She answers with a ...

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Sandwiches

A man is walking down the street when he sees a sandwich board outside of a bar. In big chalk letters, the sign reads:

"Ham sandwiches, $5. Handjobs, $20."

The man excitedly rushes inside and takes a seat at the bar, where he's greeted by an attractive blonde bartender.

She asks...

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3 workmen

Three workmen are working on a skyscraper and go to lunch, they sit next to each other on the very top of the building, the first worker says "I've been eating ham sandwiches everyday for the last 3 years, if I get this again I will kill myself." The second and third guy agree since they too have be...

3 guys are eating lunch at work

The first guy pulls out a turkey sandwich.
"Dammit, I hate turkey, if i get this tomorrow, I'm going to kill myself."
The second guy pulls out a pastrami sandwich.
"Dammit, I hate pastrami, if i get this tomorrow, I'm going to kill myself."
The third guy pulls out a ham sandwich.
"Dam...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman

All work on a high rise building site together.

One lunchtime while sat high up on the building the Englishman opens his sandwich and exclaims "Ham, fucking ham again. If I get ham in my sandwiches again tomorrow I'm gonna jump!"

The Scotsman opens his sandwich; "Haggis, fucking haggi...