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Halloween Candy Jokes

Halloween candy

Halloween was over. All the trick or treaters came and went. Some got candies. Some got confused when we said "trick" and sprayed them with water.

A couple of hours later while we were taking the candy bag inside, a 12 year old came dressed in all red.

Naturally, I told him that Hall...

I swapped the wrappers around on my wife's Halloween candy.

She didn't appreciate the joke at all. Now she's got her Snickers in a Twix over it.

I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from.

He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

Why is halloween candy so similar to anti-vax kids?

Because both dont last very long

Ive been going through all this Halloween candy, and i have some bad news.

No drugs.

It’s so hot this summer…

The Halloween candy at Walmart is starting to melt.

There are three certainties in life:

Death, taxes, and Halloween candy assortments will always include one candy that ruins the bag.

Thank god for dollar shave club

Now I can afford to put razors in all the Halloween candy.

Had to go to work looking scruffy today...

My stupid kid didn't get any razorblades in his Halloween candy.

Halloween is coming up. This is the best time to teach your kids about taxes and social security...

Take away 30% of their Halloween candy and promise them you'll give part of it back in 70 years!

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