Jack and Jill went up a hill.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and touched Jill's thigh and said "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, took off her dress and they had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pills and now they have a son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some amended Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dick...

A joke about planes

So, Jack and Jill were just married, both age 20, and go to this funfair, which offers a plane ride for £20.
Jack: Please, can we go? I've always wanted to fly on a plane!
Jill: I'm sorry Jack. £20, is £20
20 years later, they go to the same funfair, have fun on the rides, until they come a...

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water

Or so they say
But water clearly
Cannot do such wonders

Wells can only
Be located
Where the water flows

But water cannot
Go uphill
So where did Jack and Jill go?

We find out
That Jack and J...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack and Jill have been married for forty years

And every morning jack wakes up, has a stretch and forces out the biggest fart you've ever heard. Every morning his wife Jill would tell him he is disgusting and tell him that one day he's gonna push so hard his guts will fall out to which he would reply better out than in my love.

After so...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why’d Jack and Jill go up the hill?

So Jack could eat her candy. Jack got shock, a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill worked at the mill before the work did slack off.
The miller cried, I can't decide, whether to lay Jill or Jack off.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water...

...however if you sponsor Jack and Jill for just $2 a month, we can build a well with clean water right in their village.

Whats the difference between Jack and Jill?

I cant Jill off onto your face.

Psychiatrists observe two patients at a mental institution...

Jack and Jill, the two patients, form an extremely strong bond. The relationship is helping both Jack and Jill cope with difficult social interactions. Jack and Jill make such progress, the doctors decide to observe them in various situations around the mental institution to see if they are ready ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack and Jill have grown up.

They've graduated from college, and got a job at the same company. One day, while going through the books and after much deliberation, their boss decides he must lay off one employee. Jack and Jill are the most recent hires, so it must be one of them. The problem is he hired them at the same time, a...

No one digs a well at the top of a hill.

What the hell were Jack and Jill really doing up there?

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill were two farmers on the Eastern edge of Tennessee. They had recently been told that meat was un-christian like, so they decided to grow almonds and use the money from it to replace the money they'd get from selling meats.

Eventually, they realized they can't drink milk, so they...

Adam Sandler stars in Jack and Jill 2:

This time it's personal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.

Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.

"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off".

"Jack off!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A manager has two great employees...

A manager has two great employees, Jack and Jill. Due to budget constraints, he knows he has to fire one of them. He decides to meet with each employee, be upfront with them, and then make his sad decision. Both of them are outside of his office, and he asks Jill to step inside. Less than 15 seconds...

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