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Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me..!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.

"Harde...

Cornwall has no capital

False or Truro

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"I saw a job advertised for a fanny waxers assistant. Job includes removing ladies panties and prepare for waxing and rub oil in after waxing.

When I asked about the job they said I had to go to Cornwall. I said is that where the job is? No they said, that's where the back of the fucking queue is!!"

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A Farmer in Cornwall see's a bloke drinking from his stream

He shouts, "Wozzon! Ee den wanna be drinkin dat, t'is fulla horse piss an cow shit".

The bloke says "I'm from london and just purchased a property in the village can you speak bit slower please".


The Farmer replies "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any"!!!!!

What happened when Donald Trump went vegan?

Cornwall.

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A man walks into a bar

and the bartender asks "so what'll it be?"

The man sighs, and takes a seat. After a long pause he says "I'll take a pint of ale, but after I tell you this story, you may end up buying it for me."

"Well, I guess it'd have to be one hell of a story."

"Well, you see, you know that...

The house phone

went at one minute past midnight last night, I answered and went all sombre as I was talking to the wife's Dad.







I came off the phone and told the wife her mother had died of a heart attack. She immediately got up and drove through the night from Cornwall to Aberdeen,...

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Talking dog.

A man was driving through the countryside one day and he passed a nice little cottage and there was a sign outside saying 'Talking dog for sale'

so he pulled into the driveway and knocked on the door. An middle aged man answered.

"I believe you have a talking dog for sale?"

"Yes...

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