UPJOKE
graythoroughbredappaloosamutationmelanocytehorse markingsallelecd117whitecapmustangshetland ponyfoalpintodominant whitepalomino

White Horse Jokes

A cowboy walks into a bar. “What can I get for you?” the bartender asks. “A double whiskey, neat,” he replies.

As the bartender pours, she asks, “How’s it going today?”

“I have a problem with my horses,” the cowboy admits. “I want to train one of them to be a racehorse and the other to be a workhorse, but they look so similar I can’t tell them apart!”



The bartender thinks it over for a ...

A White horse walks into a bar.

The barman remarks "Did you know there's a drink named after you?"

The horse replies "Kevin ?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A White Horse Walks Into a Bar

A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we've got a cocktail named after you!". "What?", says the horse, "Steve?".

\-heard from Alan Davies on Q.I.

for all the ladies waiting for their prince on a white horse

Keep up your hopes. With price of fuel it could happen any day now

White Horse

A white horse walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He moves aside, minds his own business; but the barkeep hasn't had such an unusual patron for a long time. He's curious.

He ransacks his brain, and can't come up with a better line than... "you know, there's a whiskey named after you?"
...

At Heathrow airport in England...

...a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out and President Putin strode to a warm but dignified hand shake from Queen Elizabeth.

They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge
of Central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.

As ...

i just bought a white horse

i named him "mayonnaise" because sometimes, mayo-neighs

How does a black and white horse spell zoo?

With a Z Bruh!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a king asked his prime minister to seek for men that don't fear their wife.

The minister immediately announced in the kingdom that any man who don't fear his wife come to the booth in the town square and take a black or a white horse and those who fear their wife can take a cake for their missus.

Hoards of men came but no one mustered courage enough to take the hors...

A White Horse Walks Into A Bar (long)

The bartender asks "What'll it be?" - The horse says "I feel like a whiskey but I can't make up my mind as to which one." - The bartender scans the shelf full of whiskey bottles and sees a bottle of White Horse Whiskey. He says "I know! I've got a whiskey named after you!" - The horse looks surprise...

Zebra in Heaven.

A zebra went to heaven. When he saw St. Peter he asked him "You know, I have always wondered, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?" St. Peter said he would have to ask God that question since he's the one that made him.


So the zebra asked God, "God, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A white horse fell in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke?

The Horse took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Bubbles is the girl next door.

A Blonde Buys Two Horses

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which.

A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse’s tail tore in the same place, and the blonde was no longer able to tell t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving his car along a dirt road...

when the car suddenly stops for no apparent reason. The man has the hood up and is looking at the engine, when he hears a voice behind him say:
"It's your carburetor. If you clean it, the car will start."
He looks around, but there is not a soul in sightin either direction. Then, he notices a ...

What would you like to name your horse?

Me: Mayo

Stablemaster: Why? He's not even a white horse!

Mayo: *neighs*

The Zebra in Heaven.

My mom told me this awhile back, it made me laugh so I thought I would share.

A zebra had died and when he got to the pearly white gates of heaven, he was greeted by Saint Peter.
"Welcome to Heaven." said Saint peter.

"Wow, so this is Heaven huh? Its beautiful!" said the zebra.
<...

Who's horse is that?

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking when in walks a cowboy who yells, "Who's white horse it that outside?" The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says, "It's my horse. Why do you want to know?" The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well, your hor...

A man breaks down on a country road in Ireland and hears a voice.

He opens opens his bonnet/hood and looks at the engine. He knows nothing about cars and has no hope of fixing it, then he hears a voice "Check the alternator"....Where the hell did that voice come from, he looks round and leaning over a gate is a huge white horse looking at him "Check the alternator...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was crossing the countryside in his car.

He had already been on the road for some time and he had a good way still to go when his motor hiccuped and died, and refused to start again.

The man popped the hood open and spent a few moments just cursing about the situation and trying to fix the engine, but he was no mechanic, so it seeme...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a white doctor in African village

After a while the local realised that some women had white babies. It didn't bother them much but they was curious about it for months. So after a while they decided to ask him and the leader went to the doctor with some fellas. They asked the doctor;
"Doctor, we don't have any trouble with it bu...

A Zebra Dies and Goes to Heaven

When he reaches the pearly gates he is stopped by Saint Peter.

"Welcome to Heaven" says Saint Peter, "you may now ask God one question".

The Zebra says, "oh good, I'm going to ask him if I'm a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes!"

So the Zebra ent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is travelling through some English country lanes . . .

. . . when his car breaks down next to a field.
He gets out and lifts up the bonnet. Steam gushes into his face. 'Jesus, where do i start?' He says.

'Check the radiator' a voice says.

The man looks around, all he can see are 2 horses standing in a field. He checks the radiator, all ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving through the desert when suddenly his car breaks down

He has no idea how to fix it and is in the middle of nowhere. Under the scorching heat of the sun, hours pass by and his hopes start fading away.

All of a sudden, a grey horse appears from nowhere.

\- What's up, pal? says the horse. Can I help you?

The man is baffled. Where is ...

A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.

He wanted to find a man who wasn't afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.

After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that " if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

He Has No Class

Donald Trump lands aboard Air Force One at Heathrow, and deplanes to a long red carpet. He walks to where Queen Elizabeth II is waiting to welcome him with much pomp and circumstance.

They are ushered into a new silver Rolls Royce, then chauffeured to Buckingham Palace.

After tea, ...

A little Indian boy asked his father...

...the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"
His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who liv...

A Zebra dies and goes to heaven

While he's being checked in by St Peter, the zebra says "Before I go in, I'd like an answer to one question I've always wondered about. Am I a black horse with white stripes, or a white horse with black stripes?"

St Peter says, "That's a good question. Let me go ask God." So St Peter goes in...

Tom and Larry go to the movies

Tom and Larry go see a movie that features a horse race. Tom turns to Larry and says, "I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins." Larry responds, "No way. I'll take that bet any day." Unfortunately for Larry, the white horse won. After the movie, Tom says, "you don't have to pay me. I'd alr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The priest and the horse.

In a small village there lived a poor farmer whose work horse had just died. Without a means of pulling wagons and plows and no money to buy a new horse, the farmer just sat down by the side of the road, crying and wondering how he would feed his family now.

Then along came a priest and wonde...

A man wants to buy a horse for his daughter's birthday. [Long]

He goes to a barn to see if the farmer will sell a horse to him. He sees a beautiful white horse with a silky mane. The farmer says to the man,

"I see you eyeing my horse, if you're looking to buy him, it's 1000$." The man thinks it's a steal at that price, so he gets money out and pays....

A man walks into a bar, looking depressed.

The bartender, being nice, decides to ask him what’s wrong. “What’s wrong?”, he asks. The man replies: “I have these 2 horses, but I cannot for the love of God tell them apart! I don’t know which one to feed, which one to ride, or anything like that!”

The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy...

Donald Meets The Queen of England!

Together the Queen of England and Donald Trump proceeded to Buckingham Palace in a carriage drawn by six white horses. Regrettably, the rear horse let go of a putrid and lingering fart. The coach stunk like a sewage treatment plant, and the Queen turned to Donald and said: "Mister Trump, please acce...

A white doctor in Africa

It's a white doctor in an african village. One day, a horde of African men came to his office and said:
" Doc, we respect you, but we saw that many women started having white babies!"
The doctor laughed and replied: "Oh no! it's not what you think it is! you see, in my ranch I have a lot of w...

A horse farmer walks into a bar looking depressed

The bartender says hey what's the matter?
The horse farmer says
"I have these two horses and I just can't for the life of me tell them apart"
The bartender tells the horse farmer to weigh his horses, so he goes home and does so. He returns the next day with a long face once more, and says ...

A farmer had 2 horses, and he wanted a way to know which is which. So he goes to the smartest man in the village.

Smart Man: "measure them by their height. That's how you'll know the difference."

So the farmer measures their height and to his surprise, they are both the exact same height. Not 1 cm more or less. So he goes back to the smart man.

Smart Man: "measure them by their weight. That's how ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.