Homeopath Jokes - 23 Hilarious Homeopath Jokes

Did you hear about they guy who forgot to take his homeopathic medicine?

He OD'd.

How do you stop a homeopath from drowning?

Add more water.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the ma...

Homeopathic remedies should be cheap.

They are bottles of water that used to have some medicine in it. You should be able to pay for it with a wallet that used to have money in it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

Did you hear about the sucicdal homeopath?

He took 1/50th of the recommended dose.

How do homeopaths do suicide?

With a fatal underdose.

The less I rely on homeopathic medicine, the better off I am

I guess it works.

Homeopathic tablets

Side effects: none

Main effects: none

This is a homeopathic joke.

The humour is heavily diluted.

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

My friend thinks he’s high from taking homeopathic pills.

I said, “That’s an oxy, moron!”

Did you hear the one about the homeopathic junkie?

Unfortunately, he died of an underdose.

Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine?

A mental hospital

A 32 year old Florida man has died after overdosing on his homeopathic regimen.

He forgot to take his pills.

Credit to the great James Randi

Did you hear the story about the girl who tried overdosing on homeopathic pills?

She survived.

What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ?

0mg !!!!

What do you call a homeopathic remedy thought to cure simply because it exists, yet has no purpose nor explanation as to why?

Existential oils

The problem with homeopathy...

There are way too many homeopaths out there. It would be a more effective field of study if homeopaths were thinned out a little, say 1 per 10 million people.

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
...

I was trying to save money on my surgery...

In hindsight, I should NOT have chosen the homeopathic anesthesiologist.

The doctor said my illness was terminal

I decided to get a second opinion. The next doctor also said my illness was terminal. Feeling disheartened, i decided to get a third opinion from a homeopathic doctor.

This doctor recommended I take daily mudbaths. Finally relieved, I asked "Thats great! That will cure me??" to which the doct...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A restaurant owner tells his bartender: ok, today we're gonna serve a special cocktail.

You have to take 10 grams of vodka, dilute it in 100 liters of water and that's basically it.

Bartender: What is this, some mental institution inmates celebrate an anniversary of their institutionalization?

The restaurant owner: No, just a bunch of homeopaths having a corporate party.

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