This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately.

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

How do you stop a homeopath from drowning?

Add more water.

Homeopathic tablets

Side effects: none

Main effects: none

Did you hear about the sucicdal homeopath?

He took 1/50th of the recommended dose.

I got a call from the doctor saying my buddy nearly overdosed on his homeopathic medicine.

Turns out he had forgotten to take it.

*Alternate punchline:* His family and several witnesses later disputed this, arguing the actual problem was him nearly drowning.

Did you hear about the homeopath who forgot to take their medicine?

They died from an overdose.

What do you call a homeopathic remedy thought to cure simply because it exists, yet has no purpose nor explanation as to why?

Existential oils

My friend thinks he’s high from taking homeopathic pills.

I said, “That’s an oxy, moron!”

This is a homeopathic joke.

The humour is heavily diluted.

A 32 year old Florida man has died after overdosing on his homeopathic regimen.

He forgot to take his pills.


Credit to the great James Randi

Did you hear about the guy who OD'ed on homeopathic medicine?

He had forgotten to take them.

Did you hear the story about the girl who tried overdosing on homeopathic pills?

She survived.

What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ?

0mg !!!!

Did you hear the one about the homeopathic junkie?

Unfortunately, he died of an underdose.

Where do you take someone who overdoses on homeopathic medicine?

A mental hospital

The problem with homeopathy is that

there are too many homeopaths. It would be more effective if they were thinned out a bit, say one homeopath per ten trillion people...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A restaurant owner tells his bartender: ok, today we're gonna serve a special cocktail.

You have to take 10 grams of vodka, dilute it in 100 liters of water and that's basically it.

Bartender: What is this, some mental institution inmates celebrate an anniversary of their institutionalization?

The restaurant owner: No, just a bunch of homeopaths having a corporate party.

The doctor said my illness was terminal

I decided to get a second opinion. The next doctor also said my illness was terminal. Feeling disheartened, i decided to get a third opinion from a homeopathic doctor.

This doctor recommended I take daily mudbaths. Finally relieved, I asked "Thats great! That will cure me??" to which the doct...

When the sales guy at the pharmacy told me that they had unfortunately run out of tea sweeteners

I politely pointed to the homeopathic medicines aisle and said "No you have not."

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