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Green Vegetable Jokes

A Spaniard is counting small green vegetables...

"Uno pea, dos pea, tres pea, cuatro pea", and then he fainted.

What's a jalopy's favorite leafy green vegetable?

Aruuugula

Did you know John Lennon wrote a song for kids who avoid green vegetables?

Give Peas a Chance!

I found a green vegetable in the shape of a clock. But I won't eat it.

Not for the time bean

Guy goes to the doctor, the doctor says: I have a bad news and a good news.

P: what is the bad news?

D: because of your condition you’ll have to live on a very strict diet. No chocolate or sweets, no fried stuff, no coffee, no meat, no bread, no milk and no milk products in general. You can eat only green vegetables. And you’ll have have to keep this diet for the res...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are three things that I absolutely hated when I was 5 that I love now that I'm an adult.

Green vegetables, reading and rough sex.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How I got be 98

A journalist crew comes to this 98 year old's house for an interview:

- So, tell us your secret?

- Well, one time while on holiday in Greece I got so wasted that I took this Italian guy behind the bar and gave him a blow job.

- And that's how you got to live to 98 years??? ...

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