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Gardeners Jokes

A boy asks his dad a question

A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"

The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."

Landscape Gardeners

I've been trying to get someone to redo my garden, but i'm not having much luck.

I've found several landscape gardeners, but mine is portrait.

Why do pimps make good gardeners

Because they are used to garden hose

Why arent There Many jewish gardeners?

Because money doesnt grow on trees

[NSFW] Why did the gardeners wife file for a divorce?

Because he didn't want to de-flower her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm gonna make an adult website for gardeners

it's gonna be called hydropornic

A young boy asks his father if gardeners' thumbs are really green

The father says, "No, son, it's just an expression. Like when police catch a criminal red handed. The thief's hands aren't really red, they are black like normal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a nazi gardeners foot pain?

A facist planter's Plantar Fasciitis.

Why do gardeners like to wear diapers?

In case they get soiled

Why do gardeners hand out their herbs?

To pass the thyme.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

Why do first graders make terrible gardeners?

Because they can't weed.

Many gardeners mistakenly refer to the short, bearded statues they decorate their gardens with as "Elves".

It's a common misgnomer.

Why are gardeners better problem solvers than politicians

Because gardeners really get to the root of the problem.

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