Feline Jokes

By reading a catalog.

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

Gonna call them Puma Pants.

Because it's a catastrophe :-)

Yeah, ok, I'll be going now.

What a catastrophe!

Yeah, apparently Curiosity kills cats

Chairman Meow

A cheetah

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training... read more

You should probably call a purramedic.

Shouldn't have touched the cathode

I'll see myself out

It was a catastrophe

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

A lion.

Get it guys lol? Lion ~ Lying

I'll pounce myself out now...

But I guess the cat's out of the bag now.

However, before they could get any more info, Curiosity killed the cat.

“You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.”

A mew-tineer!

And what do you call a genetically altered cow?

A moo-tant, of course!

A catastrophe

That's right - Curiosity killed the cat

"You're one short, pal."

have said “this may be a copy cat killing”

We avoided a cat-ass-trophy

While the first oscillates, the second ocelot

Cataracts

But everybody said it was nothing but a copycat invention.

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands.

After the Curiosity rover had discovered feline life on the Planet Mars


Celebrations were wild and rampant until the rover made an unexpected turn and ran over the creature.


A NASA employee was heard saying "Turns out Curiosity Killed the cat"

A priest at the door greets her. "Are you all right, my dear?"

"Oh yes, I'm fine!" she exclaims. "It's just absolutely pouring rain!"

Suddenly, the sky opens up, and water begins to cascade down as if pouring from an enormous faucet.

"Oh my!" she exclaims. "It's coming down in ... read more

A. A cat-a-meringue

"Hey, lady", yells Larry, "Throw me the cat!"
"No," she cries, "It's too far!"
"I play football. I can catch him!"

The smoke is pouring from the windows. The woman kisses her cat goodbye and tosses it down to the street.
Larry keeps his eye on the cat as it comes hurtling down toward... read more

I caught them doing felines of cocainine.

He said he was, "feline fine"

A feline

Feline

Because it wasn't feline too good.

He committed a feline-y.

You might hurt their Felines.

I'll get over it, but he really hurt my felines.

But they kicked me out for talking about my felines.

He said he wasn't feline well.

One is generally fine, one is a General Lee fine, and one is generally feline.

They couldn't fight this feline anymore.

The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.

This ... read more

After a particularly satisfying lasagna dinner, Garfield is feeling curious about his life and how he came to be.

“Jon, where did my name come from?”

Jon Arbuckle looks instantly sorrowful and begins to tear up.

“I wondered when you would ask me that, old pal,” he responds, soun... read more

Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. Unfortunately, the Mars rover that discovered the specimen also ran over it just minutes later. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat."

Being her only companion, she loved the cat very much. Little did she know, the cat was actually a handsome prince that had be cursed to live his life as a feline.

Seeing how much the princess loved the cat, the witch that had cursed him turned him back into a handsome prince, so he could spe... read more

It really hurts my felines.

It’s going well, until one day a scientist checks in with the feline that had been receiving chemotherapy, and realized that it’s missing. She freaks out, but one of her colleagues says “Don’t panic just yet,” and throws a rib eye into the lion’s cage. Instantly, the lion seems to materialize from n... read more

Before long, word spread of his delicious meats and his business flourished.
One day, an employee screamed from the back storage room. The owner darted into the room and was shocked to find a stray feline snacking on some salami from a high shelf. The cashier ran up beside him and asked, "What o... read more

And another called une deux trois.
After many years of consideration, they decide to brave the swim across the English channel to visit Paris.
Two days go by, and noone has heard from either feline. Their friends in England are starting to give up hope, when they receive word that 1,2,3 has su... read more

So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.

One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ... read more