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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

When Olivia was 24 years old, her parents gave her a kitten for her birthday. The following year, Olivia broke up with her lover, and her lover's two year old tabby cat ended up staying with Olivia.

The following year, the tabby gave birth to six kittens. A year after that, Olivia adopted an orphaned black cat she saw on Facebook. Three years later 2 stray cats moved into her apartment. How many cats does Olivia have by the age of 30?


Enough to stay single forever.

A man hires a dyslexic hitman and comes home to find his tabby, Mittens, murdered.

Understandably upset he calls the hitman to find out what happened.


“What the hell did I pay you for? My wife is still here and now our little pet is dead. Did you even read my instructions?”


“What are you talking about I did exactly as…Ohhhhh. I thought you wanted me to off t...

My neighbor found out I decided to clone my tabby, just like he did recently...

He called me a copy-cat.

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The great detective Herlock Sholmes was hired to investigate the disappearance of one of the most important political figures in the nation.

He was quickly briefed on the current situation: at two in the morning, a young woman named Andrea had been captured by an unknown party. Now normally, a kidnapping wouldn’t be something to call in the great Herlock Sholmes for, but Andrea was a special case.

In the nation of Modgasia, the go...

The Talking Cat (Original)

Two French brothers are out fishing when one hooks something on his line. After a lot of huffing and puffing by the two of them, they pull up a small wooden chest. They open it, and inside there is a small tabby cat with a note that says "This is a magical talking cat. Please take care of him."...

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A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students.

She explains that humans are the only animals that can stutter.

A little girl in the back raises her hand and says "No ma'am I had a cat who stuttered."

The teacher knowing how precious these stories could be asked her to explain.

The little girl stands up and says " Well we ha...

Man brings a limp parrot to the vet

Man brings a limp parrot to the vet, the vet takes one look at it and says "I'm sorry there's nothing I can do."

The man is furious, "You didn't even try!"

Vet shrugs, walks out of the room and walks back in with a black labrador. The dog sniffs the parrot, pauses and then shakes its h...

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The dead duck.

A not-so-bright farmer brings his dead duck to a vet, asking for treatment. The vet takes one look and says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks if they can do some tests to make sure. The vet agrees and whistles, summoning a black lab. the dog puts its front paws on the table and sn...

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A man goes to the pet store looking for a real tough cat to catch mice.

The lady at the store said we only have this lovely tabby who wouldn't hurt a fly.

The man then says,

"don't take this the wrong way but, I'm not interested in your nice pussy."

A woman brings her budgie to the vet's.

It is lying very still and limp. "I'm afraid it's dead" says the vet, but the woman refuses to believe him. "Please", she says, "can't you examine it at least?" The vet goes to the door and whistles. In trots a black Labrador. The vet points to the budgie, and the dog goes over to the table, puts hi...

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A little story of a boy and his dog

Timmy's best friend was his dog. His dog was his only friend when his dad got a new job and they had to relocate. His dog was there to scare away the bullies when he was an awkward kid in school. Timmy's dog was even there as a shoulder to cry on when Timmy had his first broken heart. They grew fro...

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