What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?

vegetarians!

I’m so thankful for the people who deliver pizza

I’ve always hated liver!

I thankfully wasn’t close to my father when he died..

He stepped on a Land Mine.

Give me your best kids knock-knock jokes!

My 4 year old is a budding comedian, and her new favourite is knock-knock jokes. She keeps asking me for new ones that she can tell to people, but I can't find many good ones that she will understand.

The current go-to's are:

Knock knock -- Who's there? -- Europe! -- Europe who? -- No,...

Thankfully it's not another virus we have to worry about.

The police have found a large number of dead crows on the 101 just north of
Ventura early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed
the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
Th...

I’m so thankful for auto correct

Otherwise I’d be ducking up everything.

50 cent gave Eminem a really high quality sweater for xmas. EMINEM was super thankful and said to him

GEE, YOU KNIT.

Who knew.

Just be thankful COVID-19 wasn't instead named East Asian Respiratory Syndrome.

"Dude, don't touch her. She has EARS!"

Thankful for all the health care workers during this pandemic

Without dem, it would be a panic.

The cast of “Friends” got stuck at sea in a boat, but thankfully nothing happened.

Because Lisa Kudrow and David was a good Schwimmer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As today Jews worship "Yom Hazikaron laShoah ve-laG'vurah" - "Holocaust and Heroism Remembrance Day" - I am actually thankful that a good number of my friends are Nazis.

The number is zero, and that is indeed a good and proper number.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman are on a golf course

The wife struck the golf ball so hard that it went to the neighbours house and they heard a crash like it broke something.

Embarrassed and apologetic, they go over to the neighbours house and let themselves in.

They see a broken vase on the ground and a man standing near it.

Bef...

I am a parent of a one year old and I support anti vaxxer parents and super thankful of them.

They help me eliminate future competition that my kid will go against. From fortnite to Harvard.

I have developed an irrational fear of elevators

Thankfully, I can take steps to avoid them.

I had an argument with a cape..

Thankfully I managed to put it behind me.

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