UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.

"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."

"Yesterd...

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.

She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.

She held it up, shook it and said. "...

There once was a humble florist living in a small town...

He would sell his beautiful flowers to the townspeople every day. One day, some friars moved into the nearby, previously empty abbey. These friars, however, grew their own beautiful flowers to sell to pay for their expenses, and these flowers were grown in such abundance and sold so much that the fl...

So, a bunch of church friars realize the church is losing money...

"we have to figure out a way to keep the doors open!"
So the friars think and think and finally come up with the idea to sell "Jesus flowers." And lo and behold, it's a huge success. People are buying Jesus flowers almost as quickly as the friars can grow them!

Unfortunately, it has the ad...

One day, the monks at a monastery decided they need to raise money.

Friar Tuck decided to start a florist's shop. It was a success! All the villagers nearby loved to buy flowers from the men of God. All except one, that is. The local florist. He was getting run out of business by the monks. He went to the Friar and asked him to close their shop, but they refused....

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be..

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist ...

Kids bring gifts to the teacher on the last day of school

The florist's son buys a nice bouquet, the confectioner's daughter gets a cake, and the son of the liquor store owner brings a big box, nicely wrapped.

The teacher lifts the box and sees that it's slightly leaking. She humorously tastes a drop and asks:

'Is it wine?'

'Nope,' ans...

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