UPJOKE

Really Dry Jokes

My wife has really dry skin

My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it.
He said, "Give her a milk bath."
I said, "Pasteurized?"
The doctor replied, "No, just up to her knees will do."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend was really dry the other day. She said...

Talk to the hand, because the pussy ain't glistening.

A lizard in the jungle is trying to get high...

So he walks around looking for some pot. Suddenly he catches a whiff of some dank. So he follows the smell to a tree where he sees a monkey getting stoned.

He shouts "Hey monkey, you mind if I smoke some of your weed with you?"

Monkey says "sure come on up lizard I'll smoke you out"...

Can't remember this joke 100% about a farmer counting his cows.

It has something to do with counting the heads of all his cattle and then I think it ends in a really dry punch line. Any help?

EDIT* got it thanks to /u/noncharacteristic

"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

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