I was chatting with a blacksmith . .

As he hammered away at the steel, I asked him what he was working on. “I make swords” he replied. “Well that seems kind of silly,” I said. “In this day and age the only practical weapon to own is a gun”

He looked up from the forge and gave me a long look before saying, “When all of the bullet...

Why was the blacksmiths son sent to detention?

He was caught forging signatures.

Ever seen a blacksmith join two metal sheets?

It's riveting

Who's the most famous blacksmith of all time?

Will Smith

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Hugh the Blacksmith

So there are three friars living atop a mountain, and they tend to the most beautiful garden in all the land.

One day, one of the friars decides he could make a flower one hundred times prettier than all the other flowers in the garden, if only he could cross-breed a few that he had already.<...

I've had a severe addiction to taking inventory at the blacksmithing shop.

We all have our vices.

What does the frog blacksmith say?

Rivet.Rivet.Rivet.
Came to me when I was a blacksmith. Not sure if someone else already thought of it.

Why did the blacksmith take out the trash?

Because it smelt bad.

Just came up with this taking out the trash.

An inquisitive cowboy ambled into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe without realizing it had recently come out of the forge.

Dropping it, he shoved his burned hand into his pocket and tried to appear nonchalant.

“Kinda hot, ain’t it?” asked the blacksmith.

“Nope,” said the cowboy. “It just don’t take me long to look at a horseshoe.”

Did you hear about the blacksmith who ran an underground casino?

He who smelt it dealt it.

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An Irishman applied for a job working with the local blacksmith.

“Have you ever shoed horses before?” the blacksmith asked him.

“No,” replied the Irishman, “but I did tell a donkey to fuck off once.”

What do you say to a blacksmith who's angry about breaking his sword

Ooh, temper temper!

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Went for a job interview for a blacksmiths apprentice

I was asked "have you ever shooed a horse before?" I said "no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off"

What does the blacksmith say to the apprentice after graduation?

May the Forge be with you!

The village blacksmith was glad to have finally found an apprentice that did not mind the long hours and was willing to work hard.

He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”The apprentice did just as he was told.

And now he’s the village blacksmith.

Did you hear about the terrified Blacksmith?

They made a bolt for the door.

I bought a dog from a blacksmith.

I realized he was a blacksmith, because when I got the dog home he made a bolt for the door.

I think my horse is a blacksmith...

You see, every time I yell at him he makes a bolt for the door!

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They say English surnames all had a meaning, as in, "Smiths" were blacksmiths and "Taylors" were tailors...

So what the fuck did the Dickinsons do?

A knight was complimenting a blacksmith on his armor crafting skills

The blacksmith responded, "It is my strong suit"

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If someone has the Last Name "Smith" then that means that one of their ancestors was likely a Blacksmith.

Which kinda puts John Dickinson in an awkward position.

My grandfather was a very talented blacksmith

He could do all swords of things

How did the Blacksmith pick up the red hot 1000° steel cube with just his hands?

He just held it by the cubes corners which were 90°

Yo mama so fat...

When she needs furniture she goes to a blacksmith.

Blacksmiths Dog

When i was 12, my Dad bought home a dog that the village blacksmith had asked if we could rehome it.
It had only been with less than an hour, and it made a bolt for the door.

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A jealous king was about to go on a long journey but was afraid that his queen would be unfaithful to him..

Therefore he summoned his best blacksmiths, in order to create a device that was going to provide protection from any penetration to his queen.

The most ingenious blacksmith came with an invention that could split in half anything that would dare to penetrate the queens genitals.

...

What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight’s new armor?

You’ve got mail

A blacksmith is stressed

So he goes into his shop and starts holding a sword straight against the grindstone. His apprentice comes in and asks
"What are you doing?"

"Oh just taking the edge off"

A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....

The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".

The blacksmith only sold items he crafted himself. Like his father taught him...

He who smelt it, dealt it.

What does the blacksmith say when his materials are on sale?

"What a steel!"

Why was the blacksmith charged with?

Forgery.

Took my Bowie knife to the blacksmith to get sharpened, when he saw it he said he hadn't seen one in while...

...I could tell he was really excited because he got a huge honer.

I didn’t believe it when my friend told me he was a blacksmith

He was white and his name was John Baker.

You can't find an honest blacksmith these days!

They always forge their stuff!

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The Smith family name gets its origin from a line of blacksmiths. The Cobbler family name get its origin from a line of shoe repairmen.

What the hell was going on with the Dickinson family?

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Blacksmith's Apprentice

A young lad was going to an interview to become an apprentice blacksmith.


The Master Blacksmith asked, "Do you have any experience in shoeing horses?"


The young lad replied, "No, but I once told a Donkey to fuck off..."

What did the old man say when the local blacksmiths caught him trying to scare everyone away from town so he could buy up all the property for himself?

I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you metaling kids.

Blacksmith: "I'm almost done with this sword, I just need to work out the kinks."

Sword: "Hit me more!"

What do you call a weapons shop owned by three blacksmiths who are all dating each other?

A polyarmory.

Son: Dad, if the blacksmith forges the sword, who sells it?

Dad: That's easy son. Whoever smelt it, dealt it.

Why are blacksmiths seen as very nosy?

Because the are always metal-ing.

I was asked if I knew any blacksmiths

And apparently "Will" and "Jada Pinkett" were incorrect answers.

I once had a job interview at a blacksmiths

The owner asked if I'm any good at shoeing horses.

I said "I'm not sure, but I once told a donkey to go away!!!"

Did you hear about the blacksmith who made the most perfect horseshoe?

They did a bang-up job

A jeweler and blacksmith gets married. What do they name their kid?

Jaden Smith

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"My last name is Smith, because my dad was a blacksmith." "My last name is Fisher, because my dad was a fisherman."

"My last name is Dickinson, and I dont like this game"

What happens when two blacksmiths get into a fight?

They trade bellows.

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

What's the hardest part about blacksmithing?

The anvil.

Did you hear about the blacksmith that was arrested for creating iron calligraphy?

He was charged with forging signatures.

Why did the anvil hit the blacksmith instead?

Because it was irony.

Some names make sense. Like "Johnson" was probably given to the son of a guy named "John". Or how someone with the family name "Smith" most likely had some Blacksmiths in the family at some point.

But when someone has the name "Dickinson." I draw the line.

Seven wise men, with knowledge so fine, made something special of their design.

The first was a butcher, all full of wit. With some meat and a knife, he made a small slit.

The second, a blacksmith, quite strong and quite bold, hit the slit with a hammer and made a hole.

The third was a tailor, quite tall and quite thin. With a piece of red ribbon, he lined it with...

An old blacksmith ...

... realised that soon he would not be able to work so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the ...

Paddy goes to a job interview at a blacksmiths

The interviewer says, “I’m looking for someone with experience. Tell me Paddy, have you ever shoed a horse?”

To which Paddy replies, “No, but I once told a donkey to feck off!”

What was the blacksmith's slogan?

"Shop here! You'll be Gladius you did!"

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A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

My friend claims he has a degree in blacksmithing...

... But everything he makes is forged.

Blacksmithing & sausage

One day at work, a coworker tells our team about their hobby - blacksmithing. Their usual approach is to load up a crucible with coals, get a good fire going, then pound out ingots for a few hours. When they're all done, they throw a few sausages into the crucible because - and this is the reasoning...

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A man responded to a newspaper ad looking for a blacksmith

Caller: I'm calling about a the blacksmithing job.

Employer: Do you know how to shoe horses?

Caller: No, but I can tell them to fuck off if you like.

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

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Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

[Long] Since you guys liked the last one, here's another joke from my country

In a far away kingdom, the king got married to a beautiful wife. After being married to her for a year, the king started to worry that his beautiful wife might be sleeping around.

So he got a blacksmith to build a device to fit in her ladyparts which will dice anything that goes in. He manag...

What do you call it when a blacksmith makes something white?

Irony.

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It's cool that last names tell us about old family professions

Like the Smith family were blacksmiths


and the Bowman family were archers


and the Dickinson family... well they were in jail

These days, iron and steel are traded on the international commodity market, and if you need some, you just need to contact a trader.

Formerly, if you wanted iron or steel, you would need to go to an ironworks or even a blacksmith's and negotiate directly with the men who made it.

Whoever smelted, dealt it.

The mother of a wealthy, shrewd businessman passed away.

In liquidating her assets he took a large quantity of gold jewelry to a blacksmith. On the way into the shop, he noticed a large sign near the entrance that read, “NO PRODUCTS OR ITEMS MAY BE STORED AT THE SHOP. ITEMS LEFT FOR LONGER THAN 24 HOURS BECOME PROPERTY OF JACK BLACKSMITHING!”

He to...

They did move their houses,but..........

On the right side of the house of a minister there lived a blacksmith,and on the left side,a carpenter.The blacksmith and the carpenter made noise day and night and disturbed the minister. When he could not take it anymore, the minister called the two and demanded that they move their houses.
One...

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Paddy is looking for work.

He's walking around town when he sees a 'help wanted' sign outside the blacksmith shop.
So Paddy goes in and tells the blacksmith that he's here for the job.
The blacksmith asks; have you ever shoed a horse before?
Paddy thinks for a bit and then replies, No.....but I told a donkey to fuck ...

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