How much is bubble wrap at the store?

€1 a pop

I’ll see myself out ;)

I was exhausted after work today. I delivered a roll of bubble wrap. The lady said just pop it in the corner.

It took me 7 hours.

Why is it that kids love bubble wrap, while adults just find it annoying?

Nobody really knows, it's just one of the hallmarks of pop culture.

Want to hear a dirty joke?

Johnny played in the mud.

Want to hear a clean joke?

Johnny took a bath with bubbles.

Want to hear a dirty joke?

Bubbles was a girl.

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What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid?

Well he's back in town and wants your new number

*heard That from The Amazing Johnathan

What do you call a guy who only eats bubble tea balls?

Boba Fed

When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?

Inflation.

Blowing Bubbles

Four men are brought into a courtroom.

The first man walks up to his stand and the judge asks his him "what did you do?" The man responds "I was blowing bubbles in the park". The judge, clearly shocked, exclaims "why would you get arrested for that? You're free to go".

The second man ...

Farmer John owned a pool.

Every night these three ducks would sneak in and splash around, keeping John up at night.

Eventually, John got sick of it and called the police on the ducks.

They were brought before the judge the next day.

"Alright," the Judge said. "What I need you to do is walk up here and st...

When I was a kid, I used to blow bubbles all the time.

But I just heard he's been released from prison and has been asking around for me...

A man named Joe came into my store wearing a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. He started to leave, and I noticed he had some Dubble Bubble he hadn't paid for.

"Hey Joe, where you going with that gum in your hand?"

My dad asked if I remembered blowing bubbles as a child

He then informed me Bubbles is out of prison and wants to visit me

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Everyday a man named Jack would chew and swallow three whole packs of bubble gum.

Finally his concerned coworkers asked, "Jack, whats the deal with chewing and swallowing all this bubble gum?"

Jack responded by saying, "I don't know... It just helps me keep my shit together."

What do you call James Bond in a jacuzzi?

Bubble-0-7

What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet

...
.....
......
.........
............
...............
Bubble gum

Hate to burst your bubble, but..

the mixture needs more glycerin.

Three ducks went to court after being arrested

When the judge calls upon the first duck, he asks him, "what's your name?"

The duck responds, "Quack."

And what did you get arrested for?

The duck says, "I got arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond."
And he goes on his way.

The judge calls upon the second duck, an...

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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?

I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.

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What's the difference between a nun and a woman masturbating in a bubble bath?

Ones got a soul full of hope...

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The other day a girl asked me if I like breasts or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed pussy with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Little Timmy fell in the mud.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
Little Timmy started playing in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
Little Timmy took a bath.

Wanna hear a cleaner joke?
Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear en even cleaner joke?
Little Timmy...

My computer decided to replace all my icons to this weird yellow bubble with headphones...

The Audacity...

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A man walks into his therapists office

A man walks into his therapists office wearing nothing but bubble wrap. His therapist takes one look at him and says, “I can clearly see your nuts”.

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I had a talk with my therapist

Me: you know I feel like people keep cutting me off in life and bursting my bubble so that along with my childhood trauma gave me more than enough reason to come to you for therapy

"Sir this is a McDonalds drive-through"

A square and a rectangle walk into a bar.

They both sit down, order a beer, and wait for the bartender to prepare their drinks.


They each take a sip; it's nice and cold. There's an abundance of bubbles in and on the beverage; perfect.


The square looks over next to him; the rectangle is looking down at his nearly empty ...

What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade?

A FIZZicist

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Virginity is like a soap bubble

One prick and it's gone.

Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid?

Ran into Bubbles the other day, he said you always were the best.

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work.

I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

My wife is angry at me because I peed in the shower

She said that I “ruined her bubble bath”

Three Ducks Go to Heaven

Okay, three ducks die and go to heaven. Gabriel is at the gate and he tells the ducks, "Tell me, honestly, how you died, and I'll let you into heaven."
So the first duck goes, "Well, my name's Quack and I was watching my friend blow bubbles underwater when a jet ski came by and hit me in the head...

The closest I've ever come to murder is...

Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

Bubbles

At a bar 3 men go into the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes one comes out. Just to make sure nothing was wrong the bartender asks, "What were you doing in there?"

The man replies, "Blowing bubbles."

Then, another 10 minutes later another guy comes out. Once again the bartender a...

Shipwrecked

So a guy is involved in a shipwreck, and manages to swim to a deserted island. He's there for three years, living on coconuts and crabs.

Then one day a barrel floats ashore. The top pops off the barrel, and a woman climbs out.

"Oh my god!" says the guy.

"Wow," says the woman. "I...

What happens when you give a Dutchman a pack of gum?

Two-lip bubble

3 fish are arrested and questioned by an officer

The officer brings the first fish in for questioning. He asks, "Alright, what's your name?" To which the first fish responds, "Fish". "Okay, Fish," the officer replies. "Can you tell me what the hell you were doing in the public fountain??" The first fish smiles and says, "I was blowing bubbles, sir...

Blowing Bubbles

A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.

Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!

Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!

The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's you...

Its time for class, Ms. Smith noticed a few empty seats, 3 students were late.

"Good morning everyone, we have a new student to greet today, his name is Timmy, although he appears to be late."

Just then, Jen walks into class "sorry im late Ms. Smith, I lost track of time while blowing bubbles."
"That's okay Jen, just dont make a habit out of it okay?" Ms. Smith repli...

A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

I've created a new type of bubble but I don't know how to describe it.

It's indescribubble.

How do you spell bubble?

B.I.T.C.O.I.N.

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Blowing Bubbles

There is this door in an ally. Three guys walk out of it. A curious man asked the first guy," what were you doing in there"? The man answered "I was blowing bubbles" The curious man asks the second guy what he was doing, and the man answered, "I was blowing bubbles". Then the curious man said, "...

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French Bubble Gum !

An American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.

A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."

The ...

Three ducks went to jail

When they arrived, a large swan approached them. "What's your story?" He asked.

The first one said "I'm Huey, I'm not sure what I did wrong. I was just blowing bubbles in the pond."

The second one then steps forward and says "Hey, I'm Dewey. I was also blowing bubbles in the pond."...

What's Donald Trump's favorite kind of bubble gum?

Bigly chew.

I'm very good to my wife, everyday I'll run the hot water and put the bubbles in for her

...just to make doing the dishes that bit easier.

Bubble wrap

I work in the props department for a stage show company. Yesterday my boss asked me to fetch a 30-yard roll of bubble wrap from the store room. I brought it to her but her hands were full so she told me to just pop it in the corner. Took me an hour.

Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child?

Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number.

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Bubble Butt

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doct...

A bubble floats into a bar . . .

The bartender asks, "What do you want?"

The bubble says, "Pop."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Long, but worth the read. Wrote it myself.

In the darkest corner of my basement I sat alone. Eyes puffy from hours of crying and yet tears still streamed down my face. A lone snot bubble formed as I wiped my nose on my sleeve. I refused to use my hands. I looked down and in the pale moonlight streaming through the window I could tell the...

A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest.

It came to blows.

An expecting father

John was always a loving husband. For years he was constantly on beck and call. He never strayed from his wife Marla and Marla adored John. For years and years John and Marla attempted to have children. They went to fertility clinics, they sought guidance from multiple specialists, and even tried al...

Jimmy was blowing bubbles in the bathtub...

then Bubbles got up and left.

Bubbles

Once upon a time, there were 3 little ducks who lived by a peaceful pond. One day they got into trouble and were sent to Bob - the duck who was in charge of the pond.

The first one stepped up in front of Bob and looked at the ground. Bob asked, "What's your name?"

The little duck repli...

3 guys walk into a bathroom at a bar

After about 20 minutes, the first guy comes out of the bathroom. The security guard was skeptical, so he asked what he was doing in there that took him so long. The man replied: "I was blowing bubbles". The security guard laughed and the man walked away. Another 20 minutes passed, and the second man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop sees a scientist being brought in and booked.

The cop asks his partner, "Hey, what's that guy in for?"

The partner says, "Blowing bubbles in his backyard."

The cop goes, "What's wrong with that?"

The partner goes, "He made Blossom and Buttercup watch."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Logic 101

Mitch sees Nick, an old friend, and walks up to him: "Where have you been? Haven't seen you for a while at the pub. Wanna join us on the card game tonight?"

"I can't. I have a lecture in an hour."

"A lecture? Aren't you too old to study?"

"You're never too old to study the logic...

Three ducks got arrested!

All three ducks where getting interrogated individually.

interrogator says to the first duck state your name and what you did!

1st duck replies my names quak and I got in trouble for blowing bubbles! interrogator thinks for a second and tells them to send in the 2nd duck.

interr...

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