UPJOKE
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For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa’s favorite joke when I was growing up: “Wanna hear a dirty joke?”

-A man fell in a mud puddle.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.

Edit: thank you for my first silver and gold

Edit 2: I really only expected maybe 1 comment, lol. This really kinda...

I want to open a Star Wars themed cafe that caters to people who are obsessed with bubble tea.

I am going to call it Boba Fetish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Virginity is like a soap bubble,

one prick and it is gone.

what kind of bubble water does kanye drink?

he always buy polar

Here I made some bubble wrap

>!Iron!< >!Man !< >!dies!< >!in!< >!Infinity!< >!War!<

>!Jesus!< >!dies!< >!in!< >!the!< >!Bible!<

>!2021!< >!will!< >!be!< >!even!< >!worse!<

>!What did you expect they were marke...

Did you blow bubbles as a kid?

Well, just so you know, he is back in town for the weekend and was asking for your number.

I made a virtual bubble wrap to keep you all busy during quarantine. There might be some irregular bubbles, but that is normal.

>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Giv!< >!ve !< >!You!< >!Up,!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Let!< >!You!< >...

Bubbles

There were a few ducks in the park blowing bubbles, and a police officer gave them a ticket. They went to court and the first duck went in to see the judge.

The judge asks, "What is ur name and why are you here?" The duck said, "My name is quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in a park." <...

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The other day a girl asked me if I like breasts or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed pussy with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

A cop arrests 3 ducks who were in the pond late at night.

He asks the first one: “What are you doing in the pond so late?” First duck replies “Blowing bubbles.” The cop rolls his eyes and asks the second duck: “And what were you doing in the pond so late?” The second duck answers: “Blowing bubbles.” He turns to the third duck: “And what were you doing? Lem...

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A woman is at her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf....

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Blowing Bubbles

There is this door in an ally. Three guys walk out of it. A curious man asked the first guy," what were you doing in there"? The man answered "I was blowing bubbles" The curious man asks the second guy what he was doing, and the man answered, "I was blowing bubbles". Then the curious man said, "...

Do you remember blowing bubbles as a kid?

He says hi

Remember when you blew bubbles when you were younger

Well… he’s looking for you

There really should be a subgenre of hip-hop called Bubble Rap

It would probably sound a lot like pop.

Bubbles

wanna hear a dirty joke?
a boy fell in the mud
wanna hear a clean joke?
the boy took a bath with bubbles
wanna hear a dirty joke?
bubbles was the neighbor

I am considering living in a bubble…

I am considering living in a bubble..

That way I can honestly say, “I’m in shape.”

Bubbles

At a bar 3 men go into the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes one comes out. Just to make sure nothing was wrong the bartender asks, "What were you doing in there?"

The man replies, "Blowing bubbles."

Then, another 10 minutes later another guy comes out. Once again the bartender a...

Did you ever blow bubbles in the tub when you were a kid?

Because, I saw Bubbles the other day. He's doing well and asked about you.

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"Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?" I asked my boss

"Just pop it in the corner" he said


3 fucking hours, it took me.

Two women died and appear at the gates of Heaven

Saint Peter, standing at the gates, asks the first woman.
What was the last thing you remember doing?
Woman: Blowing bubbles while riding in a car.
Peter: Name?
Woman: Jess.
Peter smiles and says: Well Jess, blowing bubbles in a car is not a sin so you may enter Heaven. ...

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I've been secretly injecting soap into my balls to see if I can jizz bubbles.

It's time for me to come clean.

Bubble wrap

I work in the props department for a stage show company. Yesterday my boss asked me to fetch a 30-yard roll of bubble wrap from the store room. I brought it to her but her hands were full so she told me to just pop it in the corner. Took me an hour.

If your sparkling water loses it's bubbles, that's ok...

It's still water.

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A Canadian was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American...

A little boy went to a convenience store to buy bubble gum.

"Hi! I want to buy bubble gum?" the boy said to the cashier. The cashier said, "Sorry kid. We're out."

The next day, the boy went back to the store again and went up to the cashier. "Hi! I want to buy bubble gum?" said the boy to the cashier. The cashier said, "Sorry kid. Just like yesterday...

Blowing Bubbles

A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.

Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!

Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!

The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's you...

Hate to burst your bubble, but..

the mixture needs more glycerin.

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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her 3rd grade class. The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Principal: 6+6.

Boy: 12.

The boy got all the questions right. The principal told the Madam to send ...

Three ducks got arrested and had to go to court

The first duck gets up on the stand, the judge says "Tell me your name and what you did wrong." The first duck says "my name is Quack, and I got busted for blowing bubbles in the pond." Judge says "Ok, you go to jail for 3 days."

The second duck gets on the stand and the judge asks the same t...

Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles?

Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you...

How do you spell bubble?

B.I.T.C.O.I.N.

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French Bubble Gum !

An American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.

A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."

The ...

Bubbles

Once upon a time, there were 3 little ducks who lived by a peaceful pond. One day they got into trouble and were sent to Bob - the duck who was in charge of the pond.

The first one stepped up in front of Bob and looked at the ground. Bob asked, "What's your name?"

The little duck repli...

Why is it that kids love bubble wrap, while adults just find it annoying?

Nobody really knows, it's just one of the hallmarks of pop culture.

I was forcefully arrested for blowing bubbles outside.

Even Bubbles was speechless.

I guess working in the Mute Society just isn’t for me.

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Bubble Butt

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doct...

Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?

I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a nun and a woman masturbating in a bubble bath?

Ones got a soul full of hope...

What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade?

A FIZZicist

What did the guy at the restaurant say to the bubble gum he found stuck under the table?

I have a bad feeling about this, Chewy.

A bubble floats into a bar . . .

The bartender asks, "What do you want?"

The bubble says, "Pop."

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What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid?

Ran into Bubbles the other day, he said you always were the best.

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My friend makes a living blowing bubbles from her vagina

She charges $10 a pop.

Blowing bubbles

Three people get arrested and are taken into holding for questioning. The officer talks to the first girl, asking, "What's your name?" She says, "Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He asks the second girl...

Hey didn't you use to blow bubbles in the bathtub as a kid?

I saw him the other day, he told me to tell you hi!

A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest.

It came to blows.

I've created a new type of bubble but I don't know how to describe it.

It's indescribubble.

My dad asked if I remembered blowing bubbles as a child

He then informed me Bubbles is out of prison and wants to visit me

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Everyday a man named Jack would chew and swallow three whole packs of bubble gum.

Finally his concerned coworkers asked, "Jack, whats the deal with chewing and swallowing all this bubble gum?"

Jack responded by saying, "I don't know... It just helps me keep my shit together."

My computer decided to replace all my icons to this weird yellow bubble with headphones...

The Audacity...

When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?

Inflation.

Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child?

Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number.

Needed: people with a lot of self control

for working at a bubble wrap factory.

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A man walks into a bar

Tells the bartender that he’s gonna get shit faced and to call him a cab when he’s done. He also ask the bartender to remind not to blow bubbles when he leaves. The man gets drunk and leaves but the bartender forgets to remind him not to blow bubbles. The guy comes back the next day and says dude yo...

At a family get together I asked my 14 year old nephew, " Ryan did you blow bubbles when you were growing up?"

"No"

"Well he's in town and he said he was looking for you".

Three Ducks Were Swimming & Playing Near The Shore Of A Lake

A man approaches, and asks the first duck what his name is and what he is doing. The duck replies "My name is Raymond, and I'm going underwater and blowing bubbles!" The man asks the same of the second duck, and gets the response "My name is Nandy and I'm going underwater and blowing bubbles!" He as...

What do you call James Bond having a bath?

Bubble 07

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