Do you remember blowing bubbles back when you were a kid?

He's back in town and asked for your number.

I asked my boss what to do with this huge roll of bubble wrap

He said, just pop it there in the corner.
It took me 4 goddamn hours.

My dad asked if I remembered blowing bubbles as a child

He then informed me Bubbles is out of prison and wants to visit me

When I was a kid, I used to blow bubbles all the time.

But I just heard he's been released from prison and has been asking around for me...

Hate to burst your bubble, but..

the mixture needs more glycerin.

Let me tell you a clean joke. Johny took a bath with bubbles.

Now let me tell you a dirty joke. Bubbles is his neighbor.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Everyday a man named Jack would chew and swallow three whole packs of bubble gum.

Finally his concerned coworkers asked, "Jack, whats the deal with chewing and swallowing all this bubble gum?"

Jack responded by saying, "I don't know... It just helps me keep my shit together."

A man named Joe came into my store wearing a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. He started to leave, and I noticed he had some Dubble Bubble he hadn't paid for.

"Hey Joe, where you going with that gum in your hand?"

My computer decided to replace all my icons to this weird yellow bubble with headphones...

The Audacity...

Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?

I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a nun and a woman masturbating in a bubble bath?

Ones got a soul full of hope...

What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade?

A FIZZicist

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The other day a girl asked me if I like breasts or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed pussy with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

3 ducks were arrested…

Three ducks were arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond. They each appear in court.
Judge calls the first duck to the stand.
Judge: What's your name and why are you here?
First duck replies: My name is quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in the pond.
Judge: That's it! $200 fine now...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

For Halloween I’m dressing up as a slutty thought bubble

A Thot

Virginity is like a soap bubble

One prick and it's gone.

Three Ducks Are Blowing Bubbles In A Pond...

There was once a pond where there was a law against blowing bubbles in the pond and after one drunken night three ducks turn themselves in for committing the crime. They go to their court date and the judge asks to see the first duck and he says to the duck “what do you have to say for yourself?” Th...

Bubbles

At a bar 3 men go into the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes one comes out. Just to make sure nothing was wrong the bartender asks, "What were you doing in there?"

The man replies, "Blowing bubbles."

Then, another 10 minutes later another guy comes out. Once again the bartender a...

How do you spell bubble?

B.I.T.C.O.I.N.

Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid?

Ran into Bubbles the other day, he said you always were the best.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

Blowing Bubbles

A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.

Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!

Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!

The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's you...

Three frogs are arrested for indecent exposure.

So three frogs are arrested and taken to court for indecent exposure. The judge orders the first frog to approach. He asks the frog's name to which the first frog responds "My name is Frog." "Well frog, what do you have to say about these charges brought against you?" "I was in the swamp, blowing bu...

3 men are arrested at a public pool, and go to court

The first man steps up to the defendant's stand, and the judge says to him: "State your name and crime."

So the first man says: "my name is Billy your honour, and I was just blowing bubbles in the pool."

So the judge says "well Billy, that is a bit weird, but perfectly legal. You're fr...

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French Bubble Gum !

An American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.

A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."

The ...

What's Donald Trump's favorite kind of bubble gum?

Bigly chew.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Blowing Bubbles

There is this door in an ally. Three guys walk out of it. A curious man asked the first guy," what were you doing in there"? The man answered "I was blowing bubbles" The curious man asks the second guy what he was doing, and the man answered, "I was blowing bubbles". Then the curious man said, "...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....

...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'

Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
<...

I like my oreos like I like my people...

...held under the surface till the bubbles stop.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California.

I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!

Three ducks went to jail

When they arrived, a large swan approached them. "What's your story?" He asked.

The first one said "I'm Huey, I'm not sure what I did wrong. I was just blowing bubbles in the pond."

The second one then steps forward and says "Hey, I'm Dewey. I was also blowing bubbles in the pond."...

Its time for class, Ms. Smith noticed a few empty seats, 3 students were late.

"Good morning everyone, we have a new student to greet today, his name is Timmy, although he appears to be late."

Just then, Jen walks into class "sorry im late Ms. Smith, I lost track of time while blowing bubbles."
"That's okay Jen, just dont make a habit out of it okay?" Ms. Smith repli...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bubble Butt

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doct...

Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child?

Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number.

A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

I've created a new type of bubble but I don't know how to describe it.

It's indescribubble.

I'm very good to my wife, everyday I'll run the hot water and put the bubbles in for her

...just to make doing the dishes that bit easier.

Bubble wrap

I work in the props department for a stage show company. Yesterday my boss asked me to fetch a 30-yard roll of bubble wrap from the store room. I brought it to her but her hands were full so she told me to just pop it in the corner. Took me an hour.

A bubble floats into a bar . . .

The bartender asks, "What do you want?"

The bubble says, "Pop."

Jimmy was blowing bubbles in the bathtub...

then Bubbles got up and left.

3 Men walk into a bar.

They all walk into the bathroom. 1 guy comes out and the bartender ask "What where you guys doing in the bathroom?" The man said "blowin bubbles." The bartender just shrugs. The second man comes out and the bartender ask "What are you and your friends doing in the bathroom?" The man said "Blowin bub...

A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest.

It came to blows.

Bubbles

Once upon a time, there were 3 little ducks who lived by a peaceful pond. One day they got into trouble and were sent to Bob - the duck who was in charge of the pond.

The first one stepped up in front of Bob and looked at the ground. Bob asked, "What's your name?"

The little duck repli...

An expecting father

John was always a loving husband. For years he was constantly on beck and call. He never strayed from his wife Marla and Marla adored John. For years and years John and Marla attempted to have children. They went to fertility clinics, they sought guidance from multiple specialists, and even tried al...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Long, but worth the read. Wrote it myself.

In the darkest corner of my basement I sat alone. Eyes puffy from hours of crying and yet tears still streamed down my face. A lone snot bubble formed as I wiped my nose on my sleeve. I refused to use my hands. I looked down and in the pale moonlight streaming through the window I could tell the...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A cop sees a scientist being brought in and booked.

The cop asks his partner, "Hey, what's that guy in for?"

The partner says, "Blowing bubbles in his backyard."

The cop goes, "What's wrong with that?"

The partner goes, "He made Blossom and Buttercup watch."

3 guys walk into a bathroom at a bar

After about 20 minutes, the first guy comes out of the bathroom. The security guard was skeptical, so he asked what he was doing in there that took him so long. The man replied: "I was blowing bubbles". The security guard laughed and the man walked away. Another 20 minutes passed, and the second man...

The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day

Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.

Three little pigs go to court

Three little pigs are in a court room in front of a judge.

The judge asks the first little pig,

“Why are you here?”

The first little pig says,

“Well, I’m here for blowing bubbles in the mud...”

The judge, rather confused, doesn’t question the little pig and moves ...

Three ducks got arrested!

All three ducks where getting interrogated individually.

interrogator says to the first duck state your name and what you did!

1st duck replies my names quak and I got in trouble for blowing bubbles! interrogator thinks for a second and tells them to send in the 2nd duck.

interr...

One day little Timmy was taking a bath...

And his Mom decided to check up on him,
"How are you doing in there Timmy?"
"Fine mom! I'm just blowing bubbles!"
"Ok then" And his mom walks away,
A while later she goes to check up on him again and knocks the door,
"Are you done with your bath yet?"
"Yes mom'
"Can ...

Clean joke

If you shove a bar of soap up your ass, you can fart bubbles.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Logic 101

Mitch sees Nick, an old friend, and walks up to him: "Where have you been? Haven't seen you for a while at the pub. Wanna join us on the card game tonight?"

"I can't. I have a lecture in an hour."

"A lecture? Aren't you too old to study?"

"You're never too old to study the logic...

Three clowns walk into a bar....

They walk in and order a drink. After a while they all head into the bathroom around the same time. 10-15 minutes pass by and the first clown walks out of the bathroom. The bartender says “What where you doing in there?” The clown goes “I was blowing bubbles”. Another 10-15 minutes go by and another...

A man was looking for a job

A man was looking for a job. The only issue was that he had a harelip, so he was hard to understand. One day, he sees a man walking up the street selling laundry detergent door to door, and approaches him. The man says in a cracking voice, "excuse me sir, are you hiring?" The salesman replies, "I do...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It''s so hard to enjoy the simple country games we enjoyed as rednecks in today's society. Take, for instance, catching a greased pig. We got arrested for it even though we were on our own farm and not hurtin' nobody.

For you city slickers that have never had to slaughter farm animals the 'sport' came from a bunch of bored farm boys told to slaughter a pig for bacon, ham, chops, etc...

Everyone today is used to going to the store and not havint' actually see their food killed, so these overly sensitive peo...