Let me tell you a clean joke. Johny took a bath with bubbles.

Now let me tell you a dirty joke. Bubbles is his neighbor.

How much is bubble wrap at the store?

€1 a pop

I’ll see myself out ;)

Three ducks went to court after being arrested

When the judge calls upon the first duck, he asks him, "what's your name?"

The duck responds, "Quack."

And what did you get arrested for?

The duck says, "I got arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond."
And he goes on his way.

The judge calls upon the second duck, an...

Hey didn't you use to blow bubbles in the bathtub as a kid?

I saw him the other day, he told me to tell you hi!

Hate to burst your bubble, but..

the mixture needs more glycerin.

Blowing Bubbles

Four men are brought into a courtroom.

The first man walks up to his stand and the judge asks his him "what did you do?" The man responds "I was blowing bubbles in the park". The judge, clearly shocked, exclaims "why would you get arrested for that? You're free to go".

The second man ...

I asked my boss what to do with this huge roll of bubble wrap

He said, just pop it there in the corner.
It took me 4 goddamn hours.

When I was a kid a piece of bubble gum used to cost a penny. You know what happened?

Inflation.

Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid?

Well he's back in town and wants your new number

*heard That from The Amazing Johnathan

What do you call a guy who only eats bubble tea balls?

Boba Fed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyday a man named Jack would chew and swallow three whole packs of bubble gum.

Finally his concerned coworkers asked, "Jack, whats the deal with chewing and swallowing all this bubble gum?"

Jack responded by saying, "I don't know... It just helps me keep my shit together."

When I was a kid, I used to blow bubbles all the time.

But I just heard he's been released from prison and has been asking around for me...

My dad asked if I remembered blowing bubbles as a child

He then informed me Bubbles is out of prison and wants to visit me

My computer decided to replace all my icons to this weird yellow bubble with headphones...

The Audacity...

Remember when you were younger and you'd blow Bubbles?

I talked to him at the circus and he said to call him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a nun and a woman masturbating in a bubble bath?

Ones got a soul full of hope...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The other day a girl asked me if I like breasts or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed pussy with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

A man named Joe came into my store wearing a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt. He started to leave, and I noticed he had some Dubble Bubble he hadn't paid for.

"Hey Joe, where you going with that gum in your hand?"

Do you remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid?

Ran into Bubbles the other day, he said you always were the best.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Virginity is like a soap bubble

One prick and it's gone.

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An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....

...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'

Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
<...

Three frogs are arrested for indecent exposure.

So three frogs are arrested and taken to court for indecent exposure. The judge orders the first frog to approach. He asks the frog's name to which the first frog responds "My name is Frog." "Well frog, what do you have to say about these charges brought against you?" "I was in the swamp, blowing bu...

What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade?

A FIZZicist

Blowing Bubbles

A teacher asked two of her students a girl, and a boy, what they did during recess.

Girl: I was blowing Bubbles!

Boy: I was blowing Bubbles too!

The teacher then noticed another boy walking into her class from recess she did not recognize. She asked, "You must be new, What's you...

Bubbles

At a bar 3 men go into the bathroom.

After about 10 minutes one comes out. Just to make sure nothing was wrong the bartender asks, "What were you doing in there?"

The man replies, "Blowing bubbles."

Then, another 10 minutes later another guy comes out. Once again the bartender a...

A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.

"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."

3 men are arrested at a public pool, and go to court

The first man steps up to the defendant's stand, and the judge says to him: "State your name and crime."

So the first man says: "my name is Billy your honour, and I was just blowing bubbles in the pool."

So the judge says "well Billy, that is a bit weird, but perfectly legal. You're fr...

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Blowing Bubbles

There is this door in an ally. Three guys walk out of it. A curious man asked the first guy," what were you doing in there"? The man answered "I was blowing bubbles" The curious man asks the second guy what he was doing, and the man answered, "I was blowing bubbles". Then the curious man said, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

French Bubble Gum !

An American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.

A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."

The ...

What's Donald Trump's favorite kind of bubble gum?

Bigly chew.

I like my oreos like I like my people...

...held under the surface till the bubbles stop.

What do you call James Bond in a jacuzzi?

Bubble-0 Seven

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What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

I'm very good to my wife, everyday I'll run the hot water and put the bubbles in for her

...just to make doing the dishes that bit easier.

Bubble wrap

I work in the props department for a stage show company. Yesterday my boss asked me to fetch a 30-yard roll of bubble wrap from the store room. I brought it to her but her hands were full so she told me to just pop it in the corner. Took me an hour.

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Bubble Butt

A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast."
The doctor replies, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt."
Two months later, she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was."
But the doct...

There were three ducks swiming in a pond one night after midnight and got arrested for trespassing. They were called to apper in court the next day

So the judge called up duck #1 and asked what were you doing in a pond swiming after midnight

The duck said "blowing bubbles"

So then the judge called up duck #2 and asked the same question and the duck said

"blowing bubbles".

Then the judge called up duck #3 and said l...

I've created a new type of bubble but I don't know how to describe it.

It's indescribubble.

How do you spell bubble?

B.I.T.C.O.I.N.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Little Timmy fell in the mud.

Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
Little Timmy started playing in the mud.

Wanna hear a clean joke?
Little Timmy took a bath.

Wanna hear a cleaner joke?
Little Timmy took a bath with bubbles.

Wanna hear en even cleaner joke?
Little Timmy...

A square and a rectangle walk into a bar.

They both sit down, order a beer, and wait for the bartender to prepare their drinks.


They each take a sip; it's nice and cold. There's an abundance of bubbles in and on the beverage; perfect.


The square looks over next to him; the rectangle is looking down at his nearly empty ...

A fight broke out at the bubble-making contest.

It came to blows.

A bubble floats into a bar . . .

The bartender asks, "What do you want?"

The bubble says, "Pop."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a talk with my therapist

Me: you know I feel like people keep cutting me off in life and bursting my bubble so that along with my childhood trauma gave me more than enough reason to come to you for therapy

"Sir this is a McDonalds drive-through"

Did you blow Bubbles when you were a child?

Because I saw Bubbles today and he wanted your number.

3 Men walk into a bar.

They all walk into the bathroom. 1 guy comes out and the bartender ask "What where you guys doing in the bathroom?" The man said "blowin bubbles." The bartender just shrugs. The second man comes out and the bartender ask "What are you and your friends doing in the bathroom?" The man said "Blowin bub...

Jimmy was blowing bubbles in the bathtub...

then Bubbles got up and left.

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work.

I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

The closest I've ever come to murder is...

Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

Bubbles

Once upon a time, there were 3 little ducks who lived by a peaceful pond. One day they got into trouble and were sent to Bob - the duck who was in charge of the pond.

The first one stepped up in front of Bob and looked at the ground. Bob asked, "What's your name?"

The little duck repli...

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A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 3.

The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 4. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal. The principal decided to test the boy with some questions from Grade 4.

Principal: What is 3+3?

Boy: 6.

Princip...

Three Ducks Go to Heaven

Okay, three ducks die and go to heaven. Gabriel is at the gate and he tells the ducks, "Tell me, honestly, how you died, and I'll let you into heaven."
So the first duck goes, "Well, my name's Quack and I was watching my friend blow bubbles underwater when a jet ski came by and hit me in the head...

My wife is angry at me because I peed in the shower

She said that I “ruined her bubble bath”

Shipwrecked

So a guy is involved in a shipwreck, and manages to swim to a deserted island. He's there for three years, living on coconuts and crabs.

Then one day a barrel floats ashore. The top pops off the barrel, and a woman climbs out.

"Oh my god!" says the guy.

"Wow," says the woman. "I...

What happens when you give a Dutchman a pack of gum?

Two-lip bubble

3 fish are arrested and questioned by an officer

The officer brings the first fish in for questioning. He asks, "Alright, what's your name?" To which the first fish responds, "Fish". "Okay, Fish," the officer replies. "Can you tell me what the hell you were doing in the public fountain??" The first fish smiles and says, "I was blowing bubbles, sir...

Its time for class, Ms. Smith noticed a few empty seats, 3 students were late.

"Good morning everyone, we have a new student to greet today, his name is Timmy, although he appears to be late."

Just then, Jen walks into class "sorry im late Ms. Smith, I lost track of time while blowing bubbles."
"That's okay Jen, just dont make a habit out of it okay?" Ms. Smith repli...

Three ducks went to jail

When they arrived, a large swan approached them. "What's your story?" He asked.

The first one said "I'm Huey, I'm not sure what I did wrong. I was just blowing bubbles in the pond."

The second one then steps forward and says "Hey, I'm Dewey. I was also blowing bubbles in the pond."...

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