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Scientology Jokes

Whats the difference between scientology and ancient aliens?

One is an alien-based pyramid scheme and the other is a pyramid-based alien scheme.

scientology the far fetched religion

Scientology.

For those who think religion isn’t far fetched enough, I mean come on Alien lizards living under the sea and then moving under a volcano and transmitting to world leaders.

add two Italian brothers and you’ve got the first five levels of Super-mario



(old j...

Why is it that Tom Cruise does his own stunts in every movie?

Because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.

With all this free time, I may finally look into scientology...

...see what all the hubbard is about

Damn girl are you a Scientology Church?

Because after I come inside you I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed and end up paying large sums of money for the rest of my life just to leave.

Did you hear the one about the whistle-blower for the Church of Scientology?

###

Nobody did. He was swiftly killed and any evidence surrounding his existence was erased from history and censored from the internet.

Why is Scientology often brought up when talking about quack religions?

It's a cult classic

Not sure if this has been told before

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's greatest Science Fiction novel?

Dianetics !

What do you get from the Book of Scientology?

False Profit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Scientology and Trump have in common?

Both of them were very successfull launching a cult by talking crazy shit about aliens

Why doesn’t scientology have any coal workers?

because sects with miners is illegal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

Did you know that humans have actually created humanoid robots in 1954?

They called their invention, "Scientology."

I really want my own reality show on TLC.

Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to create an app called ShamWow...

I want to create an app called ShamWow, it tells you if certain online products are a Sham or a Wow that's a deal.

Thought I'd try writing bad monologue jokes today. Like Jay Leno bad.

Russia says it will begin patrolling with nuclear submarines again for the first time in 20 years. Nuclear subs that are 20 years old? I didn’t know Russia had Subway.

In Texas, a husband and wife are blaming one another for sending ricin-laced letters to public officials. As the saying goes,...

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