UPJOKE
survivebeliveexistenceconsistinhabitoccurbelongsubsistpreexistdwellindwellcoexistlieprevail

Existed Jokes

TIL Albert Einstein really existed

I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

If Chuck Norris hadn't existed...

Chuck Norris would have invented him.

I once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels

Unfortunately she didn't know I existed.

I have a fondness for "technically true" jokes, like these:

Did you know that the average person has an above-average number of legs? After all, most people have two legs, while a few have none.


Did you know that if you shuffle a deck of cards, the resulting order has likely never existed before in the history of the universe?



Eve...

There was a woman who had 100 kids..

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and neve...

A scene from Family Guy that never existed:

Lois says, "Good news Peter, your test results are back, you don't have the Coronavirus!"

Peter: "I don't?! Wow, I was so sure I did... Man, I haven't been this surprised since that time I went to Sting's birthday party."

Cutaway to Sting's birthday party flashback:

Peter: "Lis...

I used to think an ocean of soda existed.

But it was just a Fanta sea.

If football had never existed,

Messi would've been just a normal guy. Maybe I'm the best player of a sport that doesn't exist and that's why I'm a normal guy.

Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed!

Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.

I asked my dad what his parents' generation did to cure boredom before internet and TV existed

Neither him nor his 28 siblings had an answer.

If there existed a masseuse who hated woman

Would he be called a Massogynist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I pulled into a town I couldn’t believe still existed.

A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said “General Store”, and that was it.

There was an old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair. I said to him, “What do you fella do around here for fun?”

He said, “We don’t do nothin’ but hunt n’ fuck.”

I...

A blue whale is the largest animal that's ever existed

It's so big that if it was laid out on a basketball court the game would have to be cancelled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone thinks that unicorns never existed but it turns out they actually just went extinct

Ironically they weren't horny enough

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.