Why did Gandalf opt to send Frodo, of all beings, on the most perilous mission Middle-Earth had ever known?

Force of hobbit.

A man is in peril, he’s just robbed a cheese shop...

And the police are closing in. From his pockets, he dumps all the Gruyere, all of the Cotswald, all of the Petit Basque. As he flees, chunks of Manchego and Ossau Iraty fly from his pockets... he flings the Roquefort, but it breaks up in his pocket and is sticky... he can’t get it out. He is stuck, ...

Perils of being a Sniper

What’s the one thing snipers can’t tell their wives?  



I missed you this morning.

The Last Fight

The battle was long, perilous, and gruesome. The twins made it through nearly three quarters of the enemy battalion before reaching the final lines of the fray. They saw the end stretching over the thin horizon.

With their dwindling energy, they let out another strained cry for battle, and l...

A Perilous Situation

A blonde and a redhead are hanging from a cliff by a rope. Things don't look good; the rope will surely snap from their combined weight. Unless one of them lets go, they'll both die. The redhead tells the blonde this. A tense silence falls over them. Finally, the redhead sighs.

"I never thoug...

Once I've read about the perils of alcoholism I've decided to stop...

...reading.

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On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it! Screaming.

she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment ...

Just as the Count was about to pounce on van Helsing, the door to the library was flung open.

Incontinently, a host of furious villagers stormed into the library, waving blazing torches and voicing dire threats. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing.

"Count Dracula!" cried the burgomaster, a solid ci...

Google Doodles

Four people are sitting at a bar. A native American, a trucker, a business woman, and a google employee walks up to these people, and asks them:

“Do any of you know of an important problem facing our society? If so, then we can make a doodle of it and put it on our search homepage to raise aw...

An older man began regretting his cautious life

He then told his butler to buy a kart for him to race down a dangerous slope.

Then, a few days later he was at the top of the slope. The butler warned him of 4 perils on the way. The man noted what do do on these perils.

He went down and faced them. The butler came to ask what the ex...

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"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

C-19

In this perilous time, we need to stay vigilant in order to avoid infection


It’s most important that people don’t cough near you, they MUST be FAR


If someone happens to cough near you, politely tell them to


FAR COUGH

The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is grou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once there was a sailor who dreamt of finding the love of his life.

He sailed to the Middle East in search of a genie to grant him this wish. After a long, challenging journey, the sailor reaches his destination and sets out to find himself a lamp. Months of vigorous searching pass and eventually he finds his bounty in an isolated cave. The genie appears and asks th...

I work as a spy for the US government.

One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming...

Guardian Angel

A man was walking by a construction site when he heard a woman yell "STOP!!!" The man stopped abruptly, and seconds later a brick fell and landed in his path. He looked around but saw no trace of the woman whose voice he heard.


A day or two after that, he was driving to work. In the midst...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...

... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.


The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.


The redhea...

Three knights and an engineer are crusading to find the holy grail. [long] [spoilers]

On the way, they encounter countless perils, from marauding bandits to ferocious monsters.

Alas, they arrive at the Grail’s fabled final resting place: a crumbling old castle, separated from them only by a bottomless crevasse, with a rickety bridge as the only way across.

As they atte...

A man goes to find a Holy Knight of Trigonometry

His journey started after learning everything he could from his master, but he wanted to test his skills with one of the three knights. A long journey took him across plains, he had to climb dangerous mountains, sail across perilous seas, and even fly over a river of lava, flowing from a volcano tha...

Three guys are crossing the desert.

Three guys are crossing the desert. A black guy, and white guy and a Mexican guy. They are allowed a total of 3 wishes to be granted for their journey across the perilous desert. Wanting it to be completely fair, they decide to make a single wish each.

The white guy goes first. He thinks abo...

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An Irishman, a Frenchman, and an Afghani man are riding around the world in a balloon...

When they are over Ireland, the Irish man picks up an enormous bag of potatoes and says ‘I’m giving my country this bag of potatoes, in hopes that some hungry souls can find happiness from full bellies.’ He tossed the bag of potatoes over the edge of the balloon's basket.

The Frenchman and th...

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A blonde goes to Paris

A blonde was going on vacation to Paris and was going to fly there. She had ordered a seat in coach, but when the plane took off she went up and sat in first class.

The flight attendant went up to her and told her - very politely - that she had to move back down to coach. The blonde looked at...

So there was this zebra....

... And he wanted to know if he was white with black stripes or black with white stripes. So, he asked St. Peter. St. Peter said,

'I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question for you. You'll have to go ask God.'

Then the zebra made the long, arduous, and perilous journey up to heaven...

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