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Exhausting Jokes

It's exhausting going down on waitresses...

I'm really tired of them asking "How's everything tasting?" 5 seconds in.

Batman says to Alfred, “I’m really tired Alfred, it's been an exhausting day, please can you just get the bathtub ready for me?"

Alfred replies, "Master Wayne, what is a htub?"

I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.

I wasn’t suited to be a tailor.

The muffler factory was just exhausting.

I couldn’t cut it as a barber.

I didn’t have the patience to be a doctor.

I wasn’t a good fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.

The paper shop folded. Pool maintenance...

I just had the most exhausting enema...

I gotta say, it took a lot out of me.

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television,and tells his wife,“Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says,“Get me another beer before it starts.”She looks cross,but fetches anothe...

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It must be exhausting to have sex with a Norwegian

They never Finnish

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The cleanup work after sex can be quite exhausting

Especially reburying the body

A woman wakes up after an exhausting day of giving birth.

Not long after she wakes up, the doctor walks in gleefully.

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" He asks her.

"Decent," she answers, "where's my baby?"

"You mean babies? You had twins, a boy and a girl. The nurses are taking care of them, they'll be in any minute. By the way, yo...

A construction worker sits down in his favourite pub at the end of a long, exhausting week.

He orders a beer and takes a sip in pure bliss. From the corner of his eye he notices a cute little girl, but he pays no mind. All he can think of is the shimmering glass in his hands, filled to the brim with golden ale. As the night progresses, the folk get cheerier and louder each passing minute. ...

I heard abortions are quite exhausting..

I was confused too, but apparently it really takes it out of you.

Parenting is stressful! Parenting is a sacrifice, it’s exhausting, it’s expensive and at times it feels thankless but….

Eventually you die! -Jim Gaffigan

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My girlfriend has a fetish for getting caught having sex, but I find it exhausting

I'm really getting tired of catching her.

Three men are training to be Vladimir Putin's bodyguards

The training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway.

"Sergeant Andreyev, come into the hallway."

"Yes, sir!" Andreyev ...

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A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York and laid down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.

He made no attempt to start the cab.

The woman glared back at him and said, “What’s wrong with you, honey? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?”

The old Jewish driver answered, “Let me ...

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I watched that documentary about the guy who fell in love with his car.

I was fucking exhausting.

A man sat in the pub.

He had been there all day from 3 onwards. As sunset was approaching he was still there. Midnight was closing time so the bartender asked him to leave.

The man, now very, very drunk from a day of non-stop drinking, stood up and fell over flat on his face. He tried standing up again, once agai...

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A suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah

He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 prostitutes?"

Allah regarded him for a moment, then ...

To the woman who yelled at me for sleeping on the bus: Screw You

Do you realise how exhausting it is driving a bus?

Are you a car muffler?

Because you are exhausting!

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