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Exercises Jokes

Who named them Kegel exercises….

and not “puss-ups”?

I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

Never date someone who exercises to relieve stress…

They’ll run when it gets hard.

What do you call a girl that routinely does kegel exercises?

Jacked in the box

What kind of exercises do lazy people do?

Diddly squats

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LPT: If You're unhappy with your life, remember it's a question of perspective, my friend has sex 2-3 times a day, exercises daily, reads two books weekly, but he's still complaining about his life

...in prison

President Obama is doing his morning exercises...

...and jogging around the White House grounds when one of the Secret Service agents suggests he should see how fast he can circle the White House ten times. After all, it is a presidential tradition to try it at least once, and being moderately athletic, he figured he'd make pretty good time. So he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a friend who has sex three or four times a week, exercises for an hour everyday, reads several books a week, and his "wife" does whatever he tells her to...

... and all he does is complain about prison

New company sponsored exercise program

Now that we are all back at work from COVID, we have started a new exercise program. It includes such wonderful exercises as:
Running amok
Jumping to conclusions
Passing the buck
Point fingers
Climbing the walls
And my favorite exercise of all... diddly squats!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I majored in Exercise Science in college..

In one of my earliest classes, my professor explained the principal of "use it or lose it". Basically, if you don't work out and stress your muscles and nervous system on a relatively frequent basis, as you get older your muscles, reflexes, and overall abilities will diminish over time. She tells th...

What kind of exercises are all the rage in Kenya?

Anairobics.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist said some exercises would add me several years...

and he was right. I've made 15 push-ups right now and I feel like I'm 85 years old.

Why do crows do vocal exercises every morning?

For the Good of the Caws.

A blond was listening to breathing exercises on headphones and her boyfriend came up behind her and took them off her head.

She died.

What do you call a binary value that eats right and exercises?

A fit bit

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

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