Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring

And suffering.

"I bought you an engagement ring," I told my girlfriend.

"How much did it cost?" she asked in a flash.

"£300," I told her.

"£300?!" she fumed. "You said you were going to spend a month's wages!"

"I didn't say it was going to be *my* month's wages."

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Man buys $20 engagement ring (nsfw)

A man bought a $20 engagement ring.
He hides it where the sun dont shine.

Later that day he gets on one knee and asks his soon to be wife to check if he had something stuck there.

After a bit of struggle she fishes it out and he pops the question.

Confused and in tears she re...

I hate going into jewellery stores with my girlfriend , all the staff always assume we're there for the engagement rings.

Mind you, the ski masks probably don't help.

First comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring

And finally, the suffer-ring

My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked.

There was a diamond in the ruff.

What idiot called it an engagement ring...

When he could've called it a Kneel Diamond?

Probably it was an Engagement Ring

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger lady at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd...

A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents.

After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiance to his study for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a scholar," he replies.

"A scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but wha...

A recent archeological dig has uncovered a set of 2300 year old Roman gold rings, with a small golden figure of a Tick attatched to it, missing all its legs...

Archeologists originally believed it to be simple wear and tear, until it was discovered there were no signs of soldering on the bodies of the golden ticks, indicating they were intentionally made legless. A professor on the scene theorized that these rings were a gesture of romantic interest or a p...

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A school teacher, a police officer, and a hedge fund founder are trapped on a deserted island.

After scavenging for days with little success, they come across a magical lamp. The officer decides to give it a quick rub and out pops a genie.

"Hello, I am here to grant each of you an imperishable supply of food and water as you await your rescue. Be warned, it can only be consumed only ...

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

A young man intends to marry the love of his life.

His father explains the three rings.

The first ring is the engagement ring. It tells her of your undying love.

The second ring is the wedding ring. It signifies your intent to stay with this woman for the rest of your lives.

Then comes the suffering.

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The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.

The client, out of the blue, suddenly asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, ...don't reject the guy outright.

So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minut...

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Queen Elizabeth and Lady Di are out for a drive in the royal car on a Sunday afternoon, and they slow down when they see a man by the roadside signaling for help.

But no sooner has the car come to a stop than he springs to the door, pulls out a gun, and orders them both out of the car. "Queen Elizabeth," he snarls, "hand over that snazzy diamond tiara you're always wearing."

"I'm terribly sorry, my good man," says the queen, "but I'm afraid I don't wea...

My fiance broke up with me about a year ago.

But she and the engagement ring still remain close.

Grad School Romance

Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.


Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to ge...

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I just sat my girlfriend down on the sofa and said, "There's something I need to do."

"What is it?" she asked, "You're scaring me."

I said, "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."

She immediately jumped up, punched me in the face and ran out of the house screaming, "Never talk to me again you bastard!!"

Fucking great.
£1500 this engagement ring cost me.

If I worked in a restaurant....

on Valentines Day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.

Customer told me this yesterday...

First comes the engagement ring...followed by the marriage ring...but no one ever told me what came after that. The suffering.

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