This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation. This was affecting marital relations with his wife so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.

In response the doctor said, “When you feel the urge to ejaculate, try startling yourself.”

On the way home the man went to a gun store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try out this suggestion he ran home to his wife. When he got home he was surprised and delighted to find ...

Although relations between the two countries have improved over the years, there's still a lot of bad blood between Finland and Norway.

It's called Sweden.

My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

I named my boat Relation. Now I can tell people...

I have a Relationship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All my past relations ended because of my small penis

But my current wife says it’s no biggie

I was having intimate relations with a married woman.

A car pulled into the garage, and the woman said, "Oh no it's my husband! Quick, use the back door!"

Thinking back, I should have run, but you don't get offers like that every day.

Did you hear that Anheuser-Busch has taken over the Red Cross’s public relations?

Their new slogan is “This Blood’s for You.”

How do computers form intimate relations?

They insert the floppy into the disc drive.

RELATIONS

WHY DONT REDNECKS LIKE THE DOGGIE STYLE POSITION?
TAINT RIGHT TURNING YOUR BACK ON FAMILY

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anyone know where I can find someone to share a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations?

Asking for a friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During an inquiry, a priest was asked if he had had improper sexual relations.

He said that he had nun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pop...

A woman in work was fired for having intimate relations with a colleague.

We don't know who fingered her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got fired for having sexual relations with my client

It's alright, I didn't like babysitting anyway.

Pinochio just finished intimate relations with his new girlfriend when she ...

started complaining about splinters in her most sensitive areas.

Concerned, Pinochio went to Geppetto and told him of the splinter problem.

Geppetto searched all his shelves until he found the finest grit sandpaper among his supplies and instructs Pinochio on its use.

Several w...

Starbucks makes a drastic move to their menu to improve community relations

Patrons may no longer order black coffee.

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let’s all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

100 Nuns

100 nuns are meeting with the priest.

Sisters I must confess, I have had sexual sexual relations with a woman.

99 nuns gasp one nun in the back giggles.

It is Okay, I used a condom.

99 nuns gasp one in back giggles.

The condom had a hole in it.

99 nuns giggl...

Dr Dave had intimate relations with one of his patients and he is upset.

It was important to him not to have that happen in his career but just once one thing led to another and now he is feeling down and embarrassed.

Fortunately, he has a small voice working to cheer him up. "Don't even worry about it. You're not the first doc this has happened to and you certain...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American guy is talking to his friend about a French girl he likes...

"I've always had a thing for French women!" he says "So I can't wait to tell my crush that!"

"That's not right," says his friend. "It's not good to generalize her like that it'll make her think you see all French as the same! I've had a career in International Relations so I have some advice ...

An artist is commissioned to create a painting to celebrate Soviet-Polish relations...

to be entitled 'Lenin in Poland'.
Around a month later the artist unveils his painting to a crowd of Soviet dignitaries, and it is greeted by gasps of disgust
The painting depicts Lenin's wife in bed with Leonid Trotsky
One of the assembled guests asks 'But where is Lenin?'
To which the ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.