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Jewish Wedding Jokes

What is the difference between a Conservative Jewish wedding, an Orthodox Jewish wedding, and a Reform Jewish wedding?

At a Conservative wedding the bride is pregnant.
At an Orthodox wedding the bride's mother is pregnant.
At a Reform wedding the rabbi is pregnant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Russian pyromaniac bartender at the Jewish wedding?

The specialty drink of the evening was the mazeltov cocktail.

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What do Palestinian bartenders serve at jewish weddings?

Mazel-tov cocktails.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke that only Jews will get.

A Jewish man is getting married to a nonreligious woman. His religion is important to him so she agrees to have a Jewish wedding. The ceremony goes well, and all that's left is for the groom to break the glass. He steps on the glass, and it breaks in such a way that it slices his foot right throu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jewish jokes

(Just a few of my favorites)

A man is getting ready to get married to a very Orthodox wife, and he goes to her rabbi for help. He's recently converted and very unfamiliar with Jewish weddings.
"Rabbi, for the wedding, do I sit with my wife?"
"No, the men sit with the men and the women ...

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