What do you call someone who got fired from the East German secret police for substance abuse ?

An Ex-Stasi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An East German joke:

The Leader of East Germany, Erich Honecker, opens his window in the morning and sees the sun.

Honecker: "Good Morning, sun"
The sun: "Good Morning, Honecker"

At noon,
Honecker opens the window again and says: "Good day to you sun"
The sun replies: "Good day to you, Honecker”...

What did East Germans sing before the Berlin Wall fell?

Under Prussia

During the Cold War, there was an East German couple who were outside one evening when it was lightly precipitating...

They got into an argument, the man claiming it was raining, and the woman claiming it was snowing.

During the heat of the argument, they spotted a well known local official walking past.

The wife exclaimed, "We will ask Brother Rudolph for the official word from the Party!"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Early in the morning, an East German man named Honecker arrives at his office and opens his window.

He greets the Sun, saying: "Good morning, dear Sun!"

"Good morning, dear Honecker" the sun replies.

Honecker works, and then at noon he heads to the window and says: "Good day, dear Sun!"

"Good day, dear Honecker!" the sun replies.

In the evening, Honecker calls it a d...

An East German, West German and Berliner find a Genie...

They free him, and he says "I will grant each of you a wish."
The West German says "I want the Turks to stop stealing our women."
The East German says "I want the Berlin Wall reinstated."
The Berliner thinks very hard, and finally decides. "I will have a Mocha."

An American, a Frenchman and an East German (this joke takes place in 1982)

are having a few drinks and discussing what true happiness is.

The American says "For me, true happiness is to work hard all day at a job I love, and then to come home and share dinner with my family."

The Frenchman says "Oh, you Americans, you're obsessed with work. To me true happine...

3 Warsaw Pact generals are sitting around a table..

discussing military rations for their armies.

The East German General says "For a East German soldier he needs 2500 calories a day to be combat fit for battle!"
The Soviet General scoffs and says "Pfft for Soviet soldier to be combat fit he only needs 2200 calories a day!"
The Polis...

Three men are serving jail time in East Germany.

As they wait for time to pass, they eventually talk about why they were imprisoned.

The first one says: "Everyday, I got to work five minutes early, so they condemned me for espionage!"

The other two ask the second man.

He says: "Everyday, I got to work 5 minutes late, so they ...

Apparently this was one of the jokes from East Germany before the fall of the Berlin Wall.

A citizen orders a Trabant car. The salesman tells him to come back to pick it up in nine years. The customer asks: "Shall I come back in the morning or in the evening then?"

"You're joking, aren't you?"

"No, not at all. It's just that I need to know whether the plumber can come at...

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