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Dummies Jokes

I bought the latest edition of "Reading For Dummies"

The pages were all blank!

Fighting Big Guys for Dummies

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.”
I said, “You’ll be sorry.”
He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?”
I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”

Bazinga!!

Did you hear that Crash Test Dummies wrote a musical based on The Human Centipede?

It’s called "Mmf Hff Fm Hhmff Fhuhr Hmfhmf."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST

You have ...

Just finished the book Eating for Dummies

Boy was it hard to digest

I have "pro-tools for dummies" right next to my toilet...

You might say i'm an Avid reader.

I read “Plumbing for Dummies” twice, but I have no idea what I’m doing.

I think it’ll take a while before this sink’s in.

I just started reading "Codependency for dummies"

I can't put it down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People who buy sex dolls...

....are fucking dummies.

If I ever write a on how to become a ventriloquist, I would title it:

Ventriloquism for dummies.


Credit to u/Mezz7778

I got the book "Front Page of the Internet for Dummies" from a friend...

But I need to take it back, because I already reddit.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the dummies house.

Knock knock... Who's there?

A chicken.

My 6 year old nephew's favorite joke. Tells it every chance he gets.

I've just seen the most confusing book...

Ventriloquism for Dummies

What book did the puppet read to get better at his craft?

Ventriloquism for Dummies!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some day I will write a guidebook:

"suicide for dummies", just because I fucking love redundancy

A couple is taking a walk in Berlin

Suddenly, it starts raining.

The two start arguing over whether it's raining or hailing.

"Let's ask that Communist officer over there! He might know if it's raining!", the wife suggests.

They go up to him and notice that his nametag says that his name is Olf. "It's raining, dum...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emotions NSFW

3 dummies decide to go to a party. They arrive at the party and are promptly turned away because it’s a costume party and they are not wearing costumes. Determined to go to the party they go looking for props to make costumes. In the back alley they find a pile of painting supplies, brushes, rollers...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man takes up Kung Fu, and ascends high to a mountain temple to train...

On his first day he tours the grounds with his master to witness the many fighting styles. Along the way he sees a warrior with no arms, and he asks his master "How can that man learn kung fu with no arms?"

"Don't you see?" Says the master. "Without arms he need learn no punches. Therefore hi...

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