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Dumbbell Jokes

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I heard a man died on the toilet after eating 2 dumbbells

Thats some heavy shit (sorry)

A guy tried lifting 40 pound dumbbells

"This is too much." He decided.

He spent his money on cheaper dumbbells

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A man had to be rushed to the ER because he had a 4# dumbbell shoved up his arse….

When they got it out, he grabbed it, shoved it back up his ass and yelled TWO! (And this fam is why you always wipe down the equipment)

What do you call a man made out of dumbbells?

Jim

I was banned from the gym for taking home a dumbbell.

"Free weights," my ass!

What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave?

Shoplifting

What do you call a buff wizard?

Dumbbell dore

My New Year's resolution is going great!

I went to the gym this morning and I've already lost 10 pounds. Seriously I have no idea where I misplaced those dumbbells.

There’s a gym in Hogwarts

It’s right through the dumbbell doors

A dad joke

Dumbbell? It must be a pretty dumb bell if it doesn't ring

I lost 10kg last week

I can't seem find that dumbbell anywhere.

Guess who failed the gym class??

Dumbbells

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What's the difference between a weight and a computer that smells like anus?

One's a dumbbell...

The other's a bum Dell.

Started going to the gym and I dropped 10 pounds very quickly.

Thankfully the dumbbell missed my foot.

Shovels were a ground breaking invention...

But dumbbells were an uplifting one.

Eventually, Quasimodo dies and the Bishop immediately decides to hold auditions for the position of Notre Dame's bellringer.

After all, nobody lives forever. The bishop posted flyers all over Paris and the French countryside in the hopes that somebody, anybody could be half as good as Quasimodo was.

At the end of the day after a long week of holding auditions for disappointment after disappointment, the Bishop i...

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Best weight loss In town!

A new fitness center was advertising around the city with their fool-proof method of losing a substantial amount of weight in under an hour!

Tom was an out of shape guy that wanted to lose weight badly, but was skeptical about this new spot.

After hearing many of his friends and colle...

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The Gym (at 40) - Try and read this without laughing out loud!

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

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