What did Yoda say after seeing himself in HD?

HDMI

I don't know what an HD is....

..but my doctor said I had eighty of them!

TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.

Its name is 80-HD

Why did HD TV jump from 2K straight to 4k?

Because 3k was considered too racist.

In 2020 I’m going to try to upgrade from a HD to a 4K TV

It’s my New Years resolution.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

What did master yoda say when he saw himself on a 4k tv?

HDMI

An Engineer goes to Hell.

The first thing he notices is, it's awful hot. So he goes and checks the A/C system, and notices a missing belt. He replaces it, and soon it's a cool 78F.

The next thing he notices, is that all the TVs are showing nothing but static. He checks the satellite dish, and sees it's misaligned. He...

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

If I were a Star Wars droid....

I would be called 80-HD

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just watched aggressive sex between a group of people that celebrate pride and individuality in 720p

It was HD LGBTQ BDSM

I was at the Doctor the other day...

I was at the doctor the other day and they kept throwing around numbers. Apparently I’m a whole 80 HD!

I asked my Spanish neighbor to help me fix my tv.

It was a very expensive tv and I told him that I had been meaning to sell it for a while, and would sell it once I got it fixed. He looked confused.

“por que?”

“No, it’s only HD”

At the University, I used to make videos of urine at different resolutions.

I even got a pee HD.

Why can't kids with ADD focus?

they don't have HD.

Why do scientists have cameras in the toilet?

They wanna see their pee HD.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When it comes to sex it's all about quality over quantity.

Which is why I never watch the stuff that isn't HD.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TV for Sale

I just saw a TV for sale on EBay.

The listing said "40 inch HD TV for sale - good working order, £100 - volume button is stuck on full"

I thought 'I can't turn that down....'

A guy spots a nice TV in a yard sale and stops by to take a closer look..

He doesn't see a price tag. "That's a nice TV!! How much are you asking for it?" he asks.

Owner replies, "Yes, this is an excellent television and it is all yours for just $1!"

Confused, the guy inquires, "One dollar?! Does it even work? What is wrong with it?"

The owner reassu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you view same-sex relationships?

In HD

I will adapt your old joke into a video

Dear Reddit Humorists,

I am a huge fan of this sub reddit. It's pretty much the only thing I read on here. So let me first thank everyone who posts their grandpa's favorite joke. I am a director and I love comedy. So I've adapted a couple jokes into videos.

http://youtu.be/vJZm2n...

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