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Don't Get Married Jokes

Know why Jedi don't get married?

Because they know divorce will be with them. Always.

Why I don't get married

Two friends talking: "you know why I don't buy a car?because all may friends have cars and they can give me a ride everyday. " That's exactly what I told your wife when she asked me why i don't get married"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend promised me we would have anal sex if we got married. We got married, and I have learned 3 things...

1. Listen more carefully
2. The meaning of the word 'annual'
3. Don't get married

A woman stands in a bus station and thinks to herself: "should I go by bus or by taxi?

If I go by taxi, it doesn't matter. If I go by bus, there are 2 options; either I'll sit, or I'll stand. If I stand, it doesn't matter. If I sit, there are 2 options; either I'll sit next to a boy, or I'll sit next to a girl. If I'll sit next to a girl, it doesn't matter. If I sit next to a boy, the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Had a fight with the wife the other day

She screamed, "You ain't the man I married."

I yelled back, "Oh yeah, then go find him and leave me the fuck alone."

tl;dr Don't get married

After finishing dinner in a restaurant, Indian wife told her husband, "Give tip to the waiter".

Husband called the waiter and said

"Don't get married!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex wants me back so bad...

She called me up and said "honey, I won the lottery we never have fight about money again. Please come back"
I replied "I'm sorry but the threats and drama was too much, I can't do it.
A few weeks pass and the crazy bitch calls again saying "honey, I just found out I had HIV when we were t...

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