UPJOKE
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Don't Cut Jokes

Don't cut off the skin, it's the best part!

Said the priest to the rabbi.

What happens when you don't cut corners in your business?

You end up with squares

why don't women like uncircumcised men?

They just don't cut it

Wendy's...

Asked the lady in the drive through at Wendy's if I could get a round burger patty and she was like.... "No sorry. We don't cut corners here"

Made this joke up at my great grandmother's house while she was baking today.

One day a baker is trying to sell his bread on the streets but nobody will buy it. He goes home and on the way meets a witch. The witch tells the baker, "I'll make your bread the most special bread in the world! No other bread will be like to bread you make, but you have to pay be 50 gold!"
The b...

Dads Anonymous

Dad: Go on, it's safe here.

Me: Sometimes I don't cut the grass in a pattern.

One dad vomits, another stops grilling entirely

Doctors who don't circumcise are often seen as inadequate

They just don't cut it

A man walked into a warehouse looking for a hula hoop.

Once he found one of size, he measured it. A nice length it was! The width of the hoop was 1 meter.

The man began to hack away at the hoop, when suddenly, a voice emerged!

"Please don't cut me! I was created with a circumference of 3.14 meters!"

The man chuckled, and continued t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitc...

Two friends go to an employment agency looking for jobs.

The agent asks the first one what he does. "Pilot" the man says.

"Excellent" the agent replies. "We have a bunch of openings for pilots." She gives him a form and sends him on his way.

She then asks the second man what he does. He tells her he's a woodcutter.

"Oh, I'm sorry" ...

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man arrives home one evening and found his wife in bed with another man....

...Without hesitation, he grabs the offending man by his private parts and drags him to the garage.

He puts the man's private parts into a vice and removes the key so it can't be loosened. Then, he walks over to the work bench and removes the saw from the pegboard.

The naked man exclai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone I faintly know said to me

"I see you don't cut your hair any longer".

"Of course not you silly twat, I cut it shorter"

Thank you and Sorry are the two most polite phrases.

Apparently, "No, thank you, I don't need your advice" and "Sorry, I don't want to help you" don't cut it.

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