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Dmv Jokes

Someone once left a positive review at the DMV

The manager saw it and immediately fired everyone

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.

‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied, ‘I know the guy.’

A man is interviewing for a job at the DMV

A dude is interviewing for a job at the DMV.

Interviewer: i see in your form , under “Any physical deformities “ you have mentioned “partial genitalia” . What does that mean?

Dude: i got my nuts blown off in an accident.

Interviewer: ohh! I am sorry to hear about that however t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into the DMV.

The clerk skips pleasantries and just asks, "Full name please."

"Jo-jo-j-john Whi-w-wh-white-whi-whitehall."

The clerk pauses for a moment. Then he asks again, more patiently, "May I ask for your full name, sir?"

"Jo-jo-j-john Whi-w-wh-white-whi-whitehall."

The clerk is a...

Hey girl do you work at the DMV?

Because it feels like you're gonna make me wait forever for something that'll only take 5 minutes.

Never get stuck behind The Devil in a line at the DMV.

For The Devil can take many forms.

Trying to date someone that doesn't like you is like going to the DMV...

...you get the run-around all day, get frustrated, and when they finally do call your number, you don't feel satisfied, you're just glad its over.

What do mathematicians get at the DMV?

A deriver’s license.

The pretty lady at the DMV urged me to sign up to be an organ donor.

That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!

Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake

This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly asian man gets into a car accident and has to re-do his eye exam for the DMV.

He fails, and goes to the doctor. While examining him, the doctor says "well, I can see the problem here. You have cataracts." The old man responds, "I don't have cataract! I have rincoln continental!"

“Hi, I’d like to donate my organs”

Nurse: “You’ll have to go to the DMV for tha—“

Me: “No, I’m ready now”

A woman was walking along the street when she got plowed into by a vehicle and killed...

The police had a tough time identifying her, but they were able to get a picture from the DMV.

They walked up to her house and rang the doorbell.

"Sir, do you know this woman?"

"Yes it's my wife"

(Deep sigh) "Sir, I'm not really sure how to break this to you... but it loo...

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