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Dino Jokes

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What do you call a Dino with hemorrhoids?

A Tyrano-Sore-Ass Rex!

Two Italian guys, Dino and Marcello, go fishing on a boat

Suddenly, Dino spots an old WWII bomb floating towards them.

Dino screams "Marcello! Look! It's a mine!"

Marcello -scared- replies "Okay okay Dino, you can a have it!"

Joke by my little cousin : Which Dino was the best in English?

The Saurus

What did the canadian dino wear to keep warm?

A Jurassic Parka

What dino was known for having distinguished tastes?

A Connosaur

What do you call a T-Rex that has been in a fight?

A dino-sore.

Who did the Hamburglar frame for the theft of Fred Flintstone's Dino-Burger?

Rubble Rubble!

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

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What do you call a doctor that works on large lizard vaginas?

A dino-cologist

How does a Brit let you know you’re in danger at Jurassic Park?

“A Dino-saur-us!”

How did the stegasaurus break up the huge boulder?

With his dino-might

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What do you call a dinasaurs sextape?

The big dinosaurgy!

What do you call a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DinoCzar!

How did the T-rex feel after his first trip to the gym?

He felt Dino-sore

What did prehistoric doctors heal?

dino sores

Do t-rex like explosions

I dont know but another dino might

Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

What would you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore

A joke from my 5 year old: "Know what really killed the dinosaurs? TNT!"

"That's why it's called Dino-mite!!"

A very excited 5 year old shared this joke with me in class today

"Wha- what do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

a dinoSNORE !!!"


it made my day <3

A dragon would never explode

But a dino might

Why did the paleontologist go to the doctor?

He discovered a dino sore.

A caveman saw a pterodactyl for the first time.

Caveman : Look at that dino soar!

What do you call a flying prehistoric lizard?

A Dino-soaring.

Where did the T-Rex buy his dinner?

At the Dino-Store!

Where to dinosaurs like to shop?

At the Dino-store

Which dinosaur named all the others?

The Thesaurus

What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?

Do you want some tea, Rex.

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Did you hear about the guy who caught a STD after having sex with a velociraptor?

He’s got dino-sores.

A dinosaur came to his wife

And said, - Darling, let's make love.

\- I can't - she says - I'm busy today.

Some time later, he came again and said - Darling, I want you.

\- Sorry - she said - I have a headache.

A few days later, he invites her again.

\- No dear - she answers. - Wrong time of t...

Many dinosaurs were very religious

In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.

What sound does a T-Rex make when it’s sleeping?

A Dino-snore

What do you call a T-Rex with tourettes?

*Dino-swore.*




I'm sorry.

They say the asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.

You could say it killed many birds with one stone.

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What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a thumbtack ?

A megasoreass.

What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?

DINO-MITE!

What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

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Wind turbines...

BIG FAN!

(Fun fact, this one time, I was out playing tourist with my girlfriend and we were waiting for the ice cream store to open (because someone decided you can’t have ice cream for breakfast) so we went into a gift shop.

There was a joke book, so I picked it up and read the first ...

two groan worthy jokes I made up over breakfast

1.Q. What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
A. A Dino-sour

2.Q. Were do robots go to worship?
A. Mech-a

Did y'all hear about the purple stegosaurus?

He stuck out like a dinosaur thumb!

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

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Jeff Goldblum is a given a chance to go back to Jurassic Park

Against all advice he decides to go and is airdropped from a plane on the island. On his way down he gets awe struck by the beauty of it all and forgets to chute till it's too late.

Luckily he ends up landing on something soft and squishy. After a brief moment of relief he realizes he's stuck...

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Insults

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

S...

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