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Caveman Jokes

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says...

Bear with me...

What do you call a caveman’s fart?

A blast from the past.

What did the Mammoth say to the naked caveman?

“How can you even breathe outta that little thing?”

Why didn't Mrs. Caveman let her husband go out by himself?

Because he was going clubbing.

I fell in love with a caveman

It didn’t work out. I wanted to settle down. He just wanted to go clubbing.

What do you get when you mix an amphibian and a caveman?

A froglodyte.

Caveman discovers weed

Caveman discovers fire

Stone age begins

What do you call a wandering caveman?

A Meanderthal.

A caveman saw a pterodactyl for the first time.

Caveman : Look at that dino soar!

Back in caveman days, all we had were clubs and rocks. And doors hadn't even been invented yet...

...we had to tell each other "thump thump" jokes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two cavemen are walking through the woods

When the first one suddenly puts out his hand to stop the second. The first caveman points and says, "look!"

The second caveman asks, "hmm?"

The first caveman repeats, "look!"

The second caveman looks closely to where the first caveman is pointing and sees a pile of poop on the ...

What is Caveman-Sting's favourite font?

Rock Sans

What do you call a caveman who likes to walk slowly all the time.

A Meanderthal

Caveman Shark Tank

Guy who invented the wheel - alright this is gonna seem a little unorthodox, but just roll with it

Caveman sharks - do what with it

G - oh you'll see

"You matter"

-Caveman Carl Sagan

I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman?

A meanderthal.

This guy at work thought it would be funny to call me a caveman

I told him that was pretty low-brow humor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the caveman say when he tried to have sex in his dark cave?

I fucking rock.

Cavemen

A pair of cavemen were debating what to hunt for that day.

"Me say go to big lake and get big fish," said the first caveman. "Big fish cook in fire, feed families good."

"Me no want fish," said the second caveman. "Me say go to great plain, hunt mammoth. Mammoth big and hairy, make muc...

What is a caveman's favorite music genre?

Rock

Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...

There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.

Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!

Caveman 2: Herd?

Caveman 1: Herd of what?

Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.

Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!

I once saw a caveman wandering aimlessly in a roundabout manner.

I think it was a meanderthal.

It's amazing how far humans have come since the caveman days

when people used to communicate by writing on walls....oh wait, we still do.

Every family reunion we would see our uncle who we called “caveman” we called him that because he was big and hairy and every now and then he would eat one of us

Then we found out he was a bear

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo Mama's so old... and stupid... and fat.

Yo Mama's so old she remembers when Captain Caveman was a lieutenant,

yo Mama's so old, when she went to school history class was just one paragraph.

yo Mama's so stupid, she has a glow in the dark sundial in her garden,

yo Mama's so stupid she went to the Dentist to fix her Blu...

I heard the world's oldest joke the other day.

Didn't understand a word of it. I don't speak caveman.

A caveman walks into an auditorium

He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, "Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn't start for another hour. You're early, man."

"We need to talk..."

Thought the caveman...

I asked the caveman if he wanted to play poker

He said:

"Deal, me in!"

2 girls and their dad are sitting in a car.

Girl 1: Dad, why am I named Rose?

Dad: Because a rose fell on your nose as we were leaving the hospital.

Girl 2: **caveman noises**

Dad: Be quiet, Brick.

Stone-age

While Fred the caveman was just relaxing after a tedious hunt, his wife came running to him, all in tears. "Fred, come quick, a sabre-toothed tiger just entered my mothers cave!"
Quite calm, Fred took another sip from his beer and said "So what? Who the hell cares what happens to a sabre-toothed ...

What is a caveman's favourite thing to do on a Friday night?

Go clubbing.

A time machine goes to the hospital.

The doctor enters and goes to 2017. He finds a caveman inside and returns to the present day.

The doctor says, "Sorry sir, but you have an ana-chronic disease."

What is a caveman's favourite audio compression algorithm?

OGG

Properly relocating a cavewoman

Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?
A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

The Better Paleo Diet

I’m on the Paleo diet, except I’m the caveman who discovered Snickers.

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