UPJOKE
ice-agecavementroglodyteneanderthalcave mangeezerhomininsdudemachodinosaurprimitivebrute forcefellaneanderthalsmannie

Joke I made up: Caveman and a bear walk into a bar. Bartender says "what's your story?" Caveman says...

Bear with me...

What do you call a caveman who goes on long, wandering walks?

A Meanderthal.

Why didn’t the caveman cross the road?

Because he was dead before roads were invented.

What did the Mammoth say to the naked caveman?

“How can you even breathe outta that little thing?”

What do call a caveman's fart?

A blast from the past

Why didn't Mrs. Caveman let her husband go out by himself?

Because he was going clubbing.

What do you get when you mix an amphibian and a caveman?

A froglodyte.

What is Caveman's favourite font?

Rock Sans

Back in caveman days, all we had were clubs and rocks. And doors hadn't even been invented yet...

...we had to tell each other "thump thump" jokes!

Caveman discovers weed

Caveman discovers fire

Stone age begins

A caveman saw a pterodactyl for the first time.

Caveman : Look at that dino soar!

As a civilized caveman, Arg found Kro’s advocacy for cannibalism to be deplorable and publicly opposed him.

When the great famine arrived, he realized he was going to have to eat Kro.

The doctor was teaching a caveman about human anatomy

Doctor: Do you know where the lungs are?

Caveman: I know this by heart

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo Mama's so old... and stupid... and fat.

Yo Mama's so old she remembers when Captain Caveman was a lieutenant,

yo Mama's so old, when she went to school history class was just one paragraph.

yo Mama's so stupid, she has a glow in the dark sundial in her garden,

yo Mama's so stupid she went to the Dentist to fix her Blu...

How can you tell if a caveman has herpes?

The dinosore on his mouth

I once saw a caveman wandering aimlessly in a roundabout manner.

I think it was a meanderthal.

Caveman Shark Tank

Guy who invented the wheel - alright this is gonna seem a little unorthodox, but just roll with it

Caveman sharks - do what with it

G - oh you'll see

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the caveman say when he stumbled upon a pooping dinosaur?

"That's pooposterous!"

What do you call a caveman who likes to walk slowly all the time.

A Meanderthal

I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman?

A meanderthal.

Every family reunion we would see our uncle who we called “caveman” we called him that because he was big and hairy and every now and then he would eat one of us

Then we found out he was a bear

What is a caveman's favourite thing to do on a Friday night?

Go clubbing.

This guy at work thought it would be funny to call me a caveman

I told him that was pretty low-brow humor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the caveman say when he tried to have sex in his dark cave?

I fucking rock.

Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...

There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.

Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!

Caveman 2: Herd?

Caveman 1: Herd of what?

Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.

Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!

It's amazing how far humans have come since the caveman days

when people used to communicate by writing on walls....oh wait, we still do.

What is a caveman's favourite audio compression algorithm?

OGG

I heard the world's oldest joke the other day.

Didn't understand a word of it. I don't speak caveman.

2 girls and their dad are sitting in a car.

Girl 1: Dad, why am I named Rose?

Dad: Because a rose fell on your nose as we were leaving the hospital.

Girl 2: **caveman noises**

Dad: Be quiet, Brick.

Stone-age

While Fred the caveman was just relaxing after a tedious hunt, his wife came running to him, all in tears. "Fred, come quick, a sabre-toothed tiger just entered my mothers cave!"
Quite calm, Fred took another sip from his beer and said "So what? Who the hell cares what happens to a sabre-toothed ...

Misc religion based puns

What do you call a horse who doesn't believe in God?
Hay-thiest

What do you call a pig who believes in the old gods?
A pag-ham.

What do you call a practitioner of Hinduism who solely worships in the morning?
A Hin-dew.

What do you call a caveman unsure it he believes in...

I asked the caveman if he wanted to play poker

He said:

"Deal, me in!"

A caveman walks into an auditorium

He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, "Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn't start for another hour. You're early, man."

"We need to talk..."

Thought the caveman...

A time machine goes to the hospital.

The doctor enters and goes to 2017. He finds a caveman inside and returns to the present day.

The doctor says, "Sorry sir, but you have an ana-chronic disease."

Properly relocating a cavewoman

Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?
A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

The Better Paleo Diet

I’m on the Paleo diet, except I’m the caveman who discovered Snickers.

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