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Prehistoric Jokes

Prehistoric

Last night I watched a documentary about a prehistoric people who wandered wherever they liked...they were called Meanderthals.

Prehistoric math joke

In a certain tribe, in which polygamy was practiced, a married man’s standing in the tribe depended upon the combined weight of his wives-the greater the combined weight, the more important was the man. Every year, on weighing day and according to custom, the married men would stand their wives on n...

What did prehistoric doctors heal?

dino sores

What do you call a prehistoric bruise?

A dino-sore

Why do scientists knew that the frozen prehistoric man they found in the Arctic was friendly ?

Because he’s a”n iceman”

What do you call a flying prehistoric lizard?

A Dino-soaring.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call prehistoric group sex?

A dinosaurgy

What do you call an angry prehistoric man?

Australopithed

What prehistoric animal loves lamps?

Mam-moths

So a prehistoric bear walked into a bar.

The bartender asks "Why the short face?"

Prehistoric womens had very strong arms

Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone

What does a prehistoric farmer ride in the fields?

A Velocitractor

What prehistoric animal is the fastest at wrapping gifts?

The Velociraptor.

Two amoebae are floating along in a prehistoric ocean.

Amoeba 1: Weird...I think I just took in a breath of air.

Amoeba 2: Nah. You're probably imagining things.

Amoeba 1: Yeah. False aspirations, I guess.

If the Genesis flood happened in prehistoric times...

...It’d be Jurassic Ark

Crocodiles; these prehistoric beasts can grow up to 20 feet!

Although most just grow 4.

What are prehistoric creatures called when they sleep?

**Dinosnores**

What do you call a prehistoric striped cat with a bluetooth headset?

A cybertoothed tiger

What's the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns?

One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

Scientists have discovered a stone tablet 60,000 years old inscibed with pictographs describing the idea of "the glass half empty or half full."

They are calling the prehistoric philosopher "optimist prime."

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

A Story behind Cave painting

Cave man[gesturing]: you wanna see some comics I made about elephants, it's quiet funny.

Cave woman [gesturing]: sure.

*Present day*

Archeologist: this wall painting is an beautiful form of art by prehistoric man maybe it's about religion and stuff.

The Alpine Find

An archaeological dig team was on an expedition to the Alps when they discovered a mummified human buried in the ice. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a young male from the Neolithic period.

The team was split into two sections: Section One was to climb the slope and retrieve the mum...

There is a country that is still mostly undocumented

This country is not too large in size, but it's covered by miles and miles of tar. It's gone by many names, such as "The Country of Tar," and still lacks an official title. According to the few documents that exist for it, the tar covering the country could conceal countless amounts of undiscovered ...

A velociraptor on long island...

I made this up the other day. I don't have high hopes but what the hell:

One day a velociraptor moved to Long Island. He was sick of life in the jungle and decided to try new things. Walking down the street one day, the velociraptor noticed a 'Help Wanted' sign resting on a diner window. Thi...

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