UPJOKE
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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus Rex do pushups?

Because they're extinct.

What do you call a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DinoCzar!

Why canโ€™t groups of Tyrannosauruses clap together..?

They have no rhythm

T-Shirt is actually short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt...

Because of the short arms

What does a Tyrannosaurus fix?

Nothing. A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What happens when you let dinosaurs drive?

You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

Tyrannosaurus Checks

What do you say when two T-rex break up from a relationship?

- Tyrannosaurus EX

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

Tyrannosaurus: growl

**Thesaurus:** roar, bark, snarl

If Jesus Christ was a dinosaur..

He'd be Tyrannosaurus Resurrex

How do Tyrannosaurus Rexes decide something they disagree on?

A quick game of scissors scissors scissors.

Why do we write T-Rex instead of Tyrannosaurus?

Because its a shorthand

What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?

DINO-MITE!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind ...

I just got fired from my job as a palaeontologist because I didn't recognise a female Stegosaurus .

In my defence I'd only ever dug up Tyrannosaurus Rex, so I'd never seen herbivore.

What do you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk?

It squats down on a Triceratops.

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

How does a T-Rex make a baby?

With Tyrannosaurus-Sex

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

NSFW. Bob is complaining about his sex life..

.. to his friend Joe.

"It's so boring, just one position, in-out repeat as necessary while Jane just stares at the ceiling."

Joe strokes his chin thoughtfully and says "you need to start being dynamic, spontaneous, dominant and innovative! As soon as she comes to bed just surprise her ...

Two dinosaurs are involved in a traffic accident. The diplodocus spins off, but luckily comes to a stop on the verge without too much damage.

Unfortunately the Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Wow, carbon dating has improved in recent years!

A museum visitor was admiring a Tyrannosaurus fossil, and asked a nearby museum employee how old it was. "That skeleton's sixty-five million and three years, two months and eighteen days old," the employee replied.

"How can you know it that well?" she asked.

"Well, when I started wor...

The joke about the museum guide

Visitor: "How old is that Tyrannosaurus skeleton?"

Guide: "70,000,006 years."

Visitor: "Wow. How can you be so precise?"

Guide: "They told me it was 70,000,000 years old when I started working here."


๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽท๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽท

[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Where do baby dinosaurs come from?

Tyrannosaurus Sex

A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:

'So how are you paying today?'

The dinosaur replies:

'With tyrannosaurus check...

The "Age" of Dinosaurs

A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"

The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and ...

-What's your zodiac sign?

-Tyrannosaurus.
-But that's not even a real sign.
-None of the zodiac signs are real.

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