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Tyrannosaurus Jokes

Why can't the Tyrannosaurus Rex clap?

Because they're dead

Why was the Tyrannosaurus rex selling handguns?

Because he was a small arms dealer.

T-shirt is actually short for "tyrannosaurus shirt"

Because of the short arms.

What does a Tyrannosaurus fix?

Nothing. A Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do you call a Russian Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DinoCzar!

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

Why can’t groups of Tyrannosauruses clap together..?

They have no rhythm

When a Tyrannosaurus Rex went missing from a Zoo meant for Dinosaur...

It was reported to be "**Armed & Dangerous**".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what did the tyrannosaurus rex say to the triceratops while they were having an argument?

you're gonna get jur ass kicked

What do you say when two T-rex break up from a relationship?

- Tyrannosaurus EX

A tyrannosaurus is conversing with his friend brontosaurus. The tyrannosaurus asks, "So what would you do if your wife caught you eating meat?" The brontosaurus pondered and pondered at the unusual question. "I don't know...", he said,

"That's never happened to herbivore."

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

What happens when you let dinosaurs drive?

You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.

If Jesus Christ was a dinosaur..

He'd be Tyrannosaurus Resurrex

What did the Tyrannosaurus Rex feel when it saw the Ankylosaurus approaching?

Ankxiety

A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:

'So how are you paying today?'

The dinosaur replies:

'With tyrannosaurus check...

What do you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Two dinosaurs are involved in a traffic accident. The diplodocus spins off, but luckily comes to a stop on the verge without too much damage.

Unfortunately the Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Wow, carbon dating has improved in recent years!

A museum visitor was admiring a Tyrannosaurus fossil, and asked a nearby museum employee how old it was. "That skeleton's sixty-five million and three years, two months and eighteen days old," the employee replied.

"How can you know it that well?" she asked.

"Well, when I started wor...

The joke about the museum guide

Visitor: "How old is that Tyrannosaurus skeleton?"

Guide: "70,000,006 years."

Visitor: "Wow. How can you be so precise?"

Guide: "They told me it was 70,000,000 years old when I started working here."


💀🎷💀🎷

[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/...

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. Bob is complaining about his sex life..

.. to his friend Joe.

"It's so boring, just one position, in-out repeat as necessary while Jane just stares at the ceiling."

Joe strokes his chin thoughtfully and says "you need to start being dynamic, spontaneous, dominant and innovative! As soon as she comes to bed just surprise her ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do baby dinosaurs come from?

Tyrannosaurus Sex

-What's your zodiac sign?

-Tyrannosaurus.
-But that's not even a real sign.
-None of the zodiac signs are real.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

The "Age" of Dinosaurs

A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"

The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and ...

I once met a dinosaur who was also a sorceress...

She put me in a tyrannosaurus hex.

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