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Delivery Driver Jokes

Did you hear about the Pepsi delivery drivers who were fired?

They tested positive for coke.

What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.

You murder one pizza delivery driver, and then you have to murder another pizza delivery driver.

That's the domino effect

Noticed the similarity between food delivery drivers and gynecologists.

They can smell it, but shouldn't taste.

A delivery driver asked me what time it was…

I said, “Somewhere between 8am and 5:30pm”.

I had to fire my fruit delivery driver today

I hate to let the mango but he was driving me bananas.

What does an ambulance and a pizza delivery driver have in common

If either of them shows up late the delivery goes cold.

What do u call a delivery driver who doesnt like his job

FEDup

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I left a message for the delivery driver telling him I'd be back in fifteen minutes.

I pulled into the driveway two hours later and he came racing up to me.

"Where the fuck have you been? I was waiting all day."

"Now you know how we feel."

My dog keeps chasing the delivery driver in his truck

He really should know not to leave his keys in the ignition by now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just had to punch a delivery driver.

He got his phone out and said he wanted to take a picture of my package.

Cheeky fucker.

Can't catch a break as a delivery driver for an Indian restaurant...

I've been working naan stop.

Just heard that there will be a round of applause for courier and delivery drivers tomorrow

It will be some time between 9am and 5pm.

Started a new job as a delivery driver today.

When i got to my first address there was a little sticky note left on the door saying "Dear Delivery Driver, we are out, please hide in garage".

That was eight hours ago and still nobody has found me.

Don’t know what was wrong with the delivery driver this morning.

He was all smiles until I signed his touch screen thing, then he got all shouty and mad.

I was so scared I dropped my sharpie and just closed the door.

What language do delivery drivers speak in the Harry Potter universe?

Parcel tongue

I ordered Chinese food yesterday. Small Chinese delivery driver comes to the door, so I walked out to meet him.

He started shouting "isolate, isolate." I said no you're not I only ordered 25 minutes ago!

If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make?

Nothing because OP never delivers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I never tip the cute pizza delivery drivers and always complain that they're rude, even when they're nice...

That way, I know I'm fucking them.

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Nelson Mandela amd the delivery guu

One day Nelson Mandela is at home chilling out max and relaxing all cool when there is a knock at the door. Nelson gets up and answers the door to find a little Japanese guy on his doorstep with a great big car transporter full of brand new cars parked on his drive. As soon as the door opens the Jap...

Did you hear about the delivery driver for the local bakery that had 6 extra eyes located all around his head?

He's seen some weird things man but this guy takes the cake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Pizza. "Pizza who?"

Pete's a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren't eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD ~~manager~~ HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of cour...

I was fired from a pizza place only 6 hours in.

They said I was a bad delivery driver, but could they know? I hadn't even delivered my first order yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I began work at the Post Office recently

I found the work very mundane, so to the pass the time I would open letters that came through, read the letters, and pass them on to the correct delivery driver. After a while I began to notice something odd. Some letters would come in, with the exact same envelope, exact same address and the lette...

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