Delivery Guy Jokes - 28 Hilarious Delivery Guy Jokes

I had to fire the fruit delivery guy today

I really had to let the mango he was driving me bananas

The Pizza Delivery Guy

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing ...

My FedEx delivery guy is also my drug dealer.

He just doesn't know it.

RIP Mitch.

A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?" "I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man. Furious, the CEO asks "H...

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip...

but he doesn't like Indian food.

so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number...

A pizza delivery guy walks into a bar

What? Did you think he was there to deliver pizza? Can't he want a drink once in a while?

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My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer.

I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his .

My girlfriend told me she would love me to be a pizza delivery guy

I asked her why and she said she wants a guy that comes in 30 minutes instead of 5.

A pizza delivery guy knocks on the door

Two men answer the door and invite him inside. They ask him if he wants to have a . He replies, "just the tip please".

My pizza delivery guy asked me for a tip today

So I told him to always wash his hands after using the bathroom.

what did the domino's pizza delivery guy say to Satan?

The power of crust compels you.

Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."

I replied, "You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"

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My son said that his teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. I asked what he picked.

"I either want to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer"
...................

I think the little found my stash.

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New CEO

The board of directors at one company decided to hire new executive staff in order to increase the company's profits. The new CEO was a very tough guy who made it his mission to rid the company of slackers. One time he notices a guy in the hallway leaning against the wall picking his nose. As there ...

Yesterday that guy screamed at me "Stay RIGHT THERE, PUT THOSE HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! DON't MovE!"

That pizza delivery guy took this distant payment thing very seriously

A little boy was jealous that his new born brother was getting all the attention of his family now so he decided to put poison on his mom's .

Two days later, the mailman, a neighbor and the pizza delivery guy were found dead.

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Roses !

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn’t care. She’s busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a...

An insanely jealous husband comes home in a rage to see his wife...

He was a large bulky man who could well tear into somebody. He barges into their 3 story apartment, slams the door, and yells at his wife, "Where is he, you cheat?"

She exclaims, "What are you talking about?" He screams, "I know you're cheating on me and when I find him, I'm going to kill him...

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Parrot with no legs

A man goes to the pet shop to buy a parrot and see there’s 3 parrots, two for 200$ and the last for 20 bucks. The man ask the shopkeeper why he’s a lot cheaper. The shopkeeper replied that the parrot has no leg so it hold himself on the branch using his tiny . The man buys him out off pity.
...

A blonde orders a pizza delivery over the phone.

"Would you like your pizza cut into eight pieces, or ten?" asks the voice on the other end.

"Eight, please," replies the blonde.

When the pizza comes, the blonde notices that the pizza has been mistakenly cut into ten pieces. "Hey!" she says. "I asked for my pizza to be cut into eight ...

I recently ordered one piece of sodium and one piece of copper.

When the delivery guy showed up, I noticed that he was only holding the sodium. I asked him,

"Did you have the copper with you?"

He replied,

"Na right now, Cu later."

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A father asks his 13year-old son what does he want to be when he grows up.

His son says "A pizza delivery guy or a plumber."

The dad says "Stop watching so much , son."

Delivery...

A delivery guy turns up at the office the other day with a big roll of bubble wrap.
"Where do yo want this, sir?"
Without thinking I replied, "Just pop it in the corner."

Took him three hours.

Badoom tish.

I'm done with dating sites

I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza

After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me..

As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.

Someone knocked on my door

As I opened, I saw a pizza delivery guy with a large pepperoni pizza in his hand.

"You must be mistaken. I didn't order any pizza!", I said

"Yes, I know", he replied, "Your neighbor forgot his instagram password and wanted to show you what he's having for dinner!"

If people are worried over having Note 7's at home...

Just imagine how the delivery guy driving them to the recall address feels.

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The new CEO of a factory comes in to work.

The new CEO of a factory comes into work, determined to turn things around. He sees a man standing on the floor of a factory, not doing any work.

He goes up to the man and asks, “What do you think you’re doing?”

The man shrugs and replies, “Just hanging around. Waiting to get paid.”...

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